Kingsman Version 2
by ChangeTheCircumstances
Summary: Change is a natural occurrence but one the Kingsman has elected to ignore. As the world heals from V-Day, will change occur within the Secret Service as well? Fix-it Fic; Post-Movie
1. The Death of a Kingsman

**UPDATE: I thought about making this a series but decided to keep in a mutli-chapter fanfic instead with each chapter loosely or even directly related to the last. Also, with that said, the name of the entire work will now be called Kingsman version 2.0 and the first chapter will be called The "Death" of a Kingsman.**

**AN: ****I immediately thought up this once I finished the movie. Hopefully everyone enjoys this!**

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The death of a Kingsman deserved mourning. It was simply that the mourning often didn't take place until days if not even weeks or months later. Merlin had no time to mourn Galahad's passing and only just kept the tears at bay. Instead, Arthur's true nature was revealed and Merlin was pulled into saving the world with Lancelot and Eggsy, now the new Galahad.

The entire experience was a thrill, one that even while in the field he hadn't fully experienced, though that was probably due to the fact that the _entire_ world usually wasn't in danger all at once and from the _same_ threat. Nevertheless Merlin was content to going back to behind the scenes. He still did field work of course; besides, you sometimes had to go and loosen up the joints. But managing computers, planning safe routes, hacking into criminals' networks, was really more his thing.

Because of this, he sometimes had the pleasure, or more often difficulty, of managing multiple operations at once, keeping him away from his barely used home. Of course a Kingsman had a duty to the world but he also had a duty to his family. However, like the former Galahad, Merlin had none, at least no immediate relatives. So, it was extremely rare that he went home at all unless to sleep.

Nevertheless, the death of Valentine had allowed much needed rest for all the agents directly involved. Of course, the Earth was in a bit of chaos as about half of the governmental jobs of the world were now vacant along with a few celebrities but it would right itself again in no time.

Besides, though he could give a very stirring speech if need be, Merlin was a spy and not a politician.

It had been two days since his return to Kingsman. Two days since the new Galahad stepped up. Yet Merlin still couldn't help but think of him as Eggsy. Usually, he was the one that needed to remind others to use code names but he felt that the boy would always be Eggsy. Maybe it was because he'd worked so closely with the former Galahad. Their missions had almost always been connected in some shape or fashion and they had even started their service close to the same time. Even without missions they had always been…closer.

Perhaps that was why he was finally crying. He hadn't done so the day before, to high strung from the recent events. But he was calmer now, more level headed, and yet now his emotions decided to show up, growing like waves during a tsunami until they flowed down his face. He didn't sob or scream, that would have meant a lack of self control, though it was happening anyway, but he kept trying to wipe away the tears until it seemed like a pointless attempt.

His eyes remained watery and ached as the day wore on, making nearly anything impossible to do. However, as Afternoon Tea approached, his buzzer sounded.

The timing was odd as he hadn't been expecting anyone and he quickly attempted to clear the redness from his eyes as he approached the door. The only person he could think of was Eggsy who, though a very fine Kingsman, did occasionally forget the importance of things like calling beforehand. He opened the door, ready to hear about some new mission or perhaps even just someone in the need of a chat but instead found himself surprised.

Merlin didn't get surprised regularly.

Or shocked for that matter and he was in shock now. He wasn't sure what to do. Whether to just step aside and ask him in, cry a bit, or even punch him for all that he'd put Merlin through.

Merlin opened his mouth to speak and he almost immediately said the former code name but this really wasn't a time for that and instead he got out a rather breathy, "Harry."

"Merlin, a pleasure to see you as always. I am sorry I didn't inform you earlier but the others believed I should visit you personally instead of you being told by a second source."

Giving a small nod, Merlin's eyes finally moved away from the face to where the bandage was, wrapped around Harry's face. He then moved his eyes back to Harry, who really didn't look that good, and said, "If I was a superstitious man I'd say your ghost had come to visit me. Either way, would you like to come in?"

"That would be much appreciated. Perhaps we could go to your living room. I honestly don't think I can stand for much longer."

Merlin quickly moved aside and closed the door. He lead Harry into the next room, as if he didn't know where it was, and then quickly looked at the clock.

"Would you care to have your Afternoon Tea with me?"

"I would love nothing more but I honestly don't think I can stomach to much at the moment. A cup of tea would be lovely however," Harry replied as he sat down. Merlin could tell he truly wasn't well from his posture and the way he more fell onto the couch instead of carefully seating himself.

Merlin went to go make the tea though and hurried back, handing Harry his cup as he sat beside him. "May I be frank with you Harry?"

"Certainly."

"Then I must ask why you're not in a fucking hospital."

"I have a duty to my family. And I wasn't going to let some messenger come deliver you the news of my resurrection or wait a week before coming to you," Harry responded in a rather disgusted tone.

Merlin nodded, fully understanding what he meant, yet couldn't help but ask, "How did you survive?"

"Valentine's fear of gore and his lack of experience with a gun is what saved me. Even that close he didn't hit me point blank only grazed me and knocked me out. They left immediately without checking, probably due to Valentine's fear, and I was found and brought to a hospital. Before V-Day could occur however, I did wake up and succeed in locking myself into a bathroom. I would probably look better if I hadn't been subject to the noise produced by the SIM cards. When Percival came to collect my body, he instead found me alive, sorted everything out, and then brought me back here only today."

"So you got lucky. Lucky rarely is with us but it seems to favor you," Merlin replied with a small smile. "Do Eggsy and Lancelot know?"

"Yes, _Galahad_ and Lancelot know."

"Then what will you do? This has never happened before."

"True, but the position of Arthur has yet to be filled. We'll have to officially vote on it but from my brief discussion with the others they believe it's the right choice. Of course, we'll need your vote as well."

"You know you have it," Merlin responded with a small smile. "And I…I thank you for coming here. You don't know how much it means that…well that you're alive."

"I dare say; are you getting emotional with me Merlin?"

"Don't be such a shit. Obviously I am," Merlin replied and quickly took Harry's face into his hands, kissing him softly and just loving the fact that he was so near, that the one he thought he'd lost forever was here with him now. "You," Merlin said softly, his breath softly brushing against Harry's skin, "are going to go to bed and will _sleep_ so that way when I wake up in the morning I can know this wasn't a dream. Then you're going to be stuck in a hospital bed for however long you need until you're back to health. Is that understood?"

"I'll follow the order to a T," Harry said smiling.

"Good, I'll be there soon." Merlin took care of the tea and allowed himself a few moments to calm down. He then went back to his bedroom and couldn't help but give a fond smile as Harry had only succeeded in pulling his shoes off and throwing off his jacket before falling sleep. It was so un-Harry.

Skipping dinner, Merlin changed into his pajamas slowly and then moved in next to Harry. He took his hand and simply held it as a reminder that Harry really was there. When he finally woke up and found that Harry had moved closer in his sleep, his arm thrown over his body, Merlin couldn't help but smile. To be a Kingsman was a worth wild duty but one that often took more than what was received. For once, Merlin gained something instead of lost it.


	2. A New King

Harry Hart waited in his hospital bed for the outcome of the vote. He'd thought about going to the meeting but decided Merlin would most likely kill him if he tried so he stayed where he was, getting better minute by minute. A knock then came from his door. It was extremely erratic sounding suggesting either Eggsy or Richard, code name Yvain, who always had a rather nervous sounding knock. Nevertheless, this knock sounded more excited than nervous so Harry was betting on Eggsy.

"Come in."

It was Eggsy along with Roxy just behind him. Eggsy was practically jumping up and down from excitement and Roxy was grinning from ear to ear.

"I believe I already know what you're so thrilled about but just to hear what I'm sure you're dying to tell me, I'll ask anyways. What has you so excited?" asked Harry with a slight smile.

"Nothin much. Just that we have a new King," Eggsy replied.

"A unanimous vote," Roxy added. "Not a single person hesitated. Welcome back to Kingsman Arthur."

Eggsy seemed to hesitate and then suddenly lunged forward to capture Harry in a hug. Finally pulling back, he shuffled his feet a bit before finally saying, "Sorry, I guess it's just now hitting me that you're really here."

"No need to be sorry. I'm quite glad I'm here as well," Harry responded which earned a smile from both kids. "Now, have you been given your first mission? Well, first official mission is really what I should say."

"Yeah, Merlin finally identified a group that's been stealing famous paintings from all over the world and selling them off. Myself, Lancelot, and Gawain are going to their supposed base. First we have to secure the paintings, then take the operation down," Eggsy replied.

"I'm sure you'll do a superb job," Harry commented, "which I'll of course know from what I'm expecting to be an excellent field report."

Eggsy let out a small groan as Roxy allowed a small snort to escape her mouth.

"Now Eggsy, you do know field reports are just as important as the actual mission."

"I know I know. Don't worry; it'll be as detailed as possible. We'll head out now though. Get well quickly."

"I'll certainly try. Good luck to both of you," Harry replied.

After they left, he picked up a tablet beside him and began reviewing all other missions going on at the moment when another knock sounded at the door. This one was an evenly spaced, not to soft but not to loud, knock that struck twice. Merlin then.

"Enter."

"My king," Merlin said with a slight smirk.

"Wizard," Harry responded. "Have you come to heal me with your spells and potions?"

"Sadly no, only for a much deserved congratulation."

"I thank you then. Though, I'm rather disappointed you didn't bring any spells along either."

Merlin simply shook his head and sat down next to Harry. Bringing out his own tablet, he turned slightly to the board in front of the hospital bed and brought up several files.

"So not a social call."

"I'll remember to make one after I'm sure not a single Kingsman has been stabbed by an unpredictable art thief."

"I'll keep you to that promise. Now, what do you have for me?"

"Well, besides the stolen paintings, we believe the Queen's life is in danger. Despite little political power, her death would be a terrible blow for the people and in this time of chaos, an assassination attempt would be much simpler than at any other time in our history. Percival has just been assigned to the job along with Pellinor and Yvain. They'll be taking the places of the Queen's usual guard and tonight at a special dinner I'll be going undercover. Well, in a way. I'm actually going as myself."

"I'm surprised. You hate events like this, Fergus."

"_And_ I hate that name. I'm going because the queen personally invited me, not any family duty," Merlin responded with a sigh.

"I don't know why you hate it so much. You were named after a king."

"James is also the name of a king. Several if I remember correctly," grumbled Merlin. "Or Alexander. I would've been fine with Durst even but instead I got stuck with Fergus."

Harry couldn't but smile as he moved his hand into the others. "Either way, you know you'll always be Merlin to me. Even without Kingsman, without all this, the name does fit you better than Fergus."

"Any name would fit me better than Fergus. Can we get back to saving the Queen?"

"Of course. I do think her Majesty would prefer that," Harry responded. He moved his hand back, thoughtfully rubbing his chin. "The dining area has several large windows you know."

"Exactly my thinking. It's been moved to this room here…"

Merlin and Harry discussed the mission for about another hour before Merlin finally left for that exact dinner. At the same time, Galahad, Lancelot, and Gawain had already arrived at their destination and would now be scouting out the area before making contact.

Though Merlin repeatedly reminded Harry that several others would be monitoring the missions, Harry had the information of both up and currently watched and listened in on the dinner with the Queen. Every now and then he checked on the other one but as Gawain was in charge, Harry trusted them that they wouldn't diverge from the current plan unless absolutely necessary.

Harry paced back and forth, not a worrier but simply needing to move about after being in bed for so long. He couldn't help but smile as Merlin camped off in a corner before the dinner had begun with a glass of whiskey in his hand.

"I'd say you're doing a fucking terrible job fitting in but seeing as you're playing yourself…."

"Shut up Har-Arthur," Merlin grumbled into his drink. "I don't know half of these people and would rather not even try. Queen Elizabeth is a delight to talk to but for the moment I can't get within ten feet of her."

"Where's Pellinor and Yvain?" Harry watched as Merlin casually turned his head to look in the direction of both men.

After that, Harry kept quiet, simply watching the evening slip by. Once some time had passed, Harry also saw that the stealth part of Gawain's mission had gone as planned and that they'd be contacting Kingsman tomorrow for the next step. Now fully concentrating on the Queen's dinner, he changed views between Pellinor, Yvain, and Merlin, repeatedly looking for suspicious movement or people or items out of place.

Yvain was looking directly at a far window where curtains were slightly fluttering but Harry was more interested in the server that was coming around with a drink for the Queen. Trusting his gut, Harry watched as the man set it in front of the Queen and quickly said, "Don't let her drink that."

He could see both Pellinor and Yvain lurch forward but Merlin was actually at the table and closer. Reeling forward, he succeeded in knocking out the glass and Harry watched the chaos that ensued afterwards. Knowing from experience that a man yelling in your ear while conflict was going on didn't help, Harry remained silent as he watched between the three men, ready to only say something if it was absolutely necessary.

Everything quickly got under control and Harry gave an approving nod as the Queen backhanded the server who tried to lunge at her for one last attempt. Knowing that each agent would give the full report of what just happened, Harry also typed up everything that he'd seen occur. Finally after touching in with both Yvain and Pellinor, Harry touched base with Merlin.

"Are you alright?"

"Fine. Cut my hand when the glass shattered but other than that alright. For a split second I thought her majesty was going to slap me."

"Well you could have simply said, 'My dear please don't drink that because I saw the server put something in it and I believe you might keel over and die'."

"You say that now but if you'd been in my position you would have done the exact same thing. There are certain times when pleasantries are just to slow."

"True, very true." Harry watched as Merlin was taken to his car and could easily hear the more relaxed breathing now that he was alone. "The kids are doing well with their mission. I'm sure they'd do fine on their own but I believe Gawain is doing a good job of keeping them in check."

"You mean keeping them from jumping in gung-ho."

"Precisely. I'll see you when you get back." Harry then ended the connection, finished his reports, and finally moved back to the bed.

He was reading Jonathan Livingston Seagull when he heard the carefully crafted knock.

"Come in."

Harry carefully marked his book and put it down as he asked, "So do we know who sent him or—" He was quickly cut off as Merlin bent down to kiss him.

When Merlin finally pulled away, he said, "Everything is taken care of. This isn't a business meeting."

"Aw, so I finally have my social call then."

"Well that's the plan." Merlin squeezed in beside Harry, kissing him again as he pulled him close.

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**AN: Since we don't get to know all of the members of Kingsman, I took some liberty with their names. If anyone has any suggestions, for other Kingsman and characters or prompts that they want to see feel free to ask! I hope you enjoyed this as it was really very unexpected.**


	3. Dreams and Nightmares

Harry wouldn't exactly call them nightmares. He never woke up out of breath and drenched in sweat. Neither did he wake up crying or screaming. He usually thought of them as reminders, reminders of his failures, of the innocent lives lost and the mistakes made, always there in the hopes that next time there would be less casualties, that next time he'd save the majority and not just one or none. But what he'd been experiencing of late, what he'd seen in his dreams, those were nightmares.

The event at the church was not something he thought of often, if at all, while awake. There was nothing to be gained from it, nothing to be learned. Even before the test had started, when he hated every single person inside, he never would have killed them and certainly not in such a brutal way.

Yet despite this, the memory of it kept appearing in his dreams, repeating in his head like a tired record. It was one of the few dreams that he would consider a nightmare. Not only did it cause unnecessary pain, occasionally he even forgot where he was when waking up. Other times he woke up feeling like he'd done the whole ordeal over again, out of breath and sore.

He didn't speak of this to anyone, part of him ashamed and another afraid of what might be said. But after he was discharged he should have known Merlin would broach the subject. Merlin knew everything.

They were currently eating dinner as they watched a Kingsman climb the outside of a building. It would have been nicer to go to a restaurant as part of Harry being discharged, but responsibility wasn't something a Kingsman could simply ignore. Besides, the meal was nice and the mission was going well.

"The guard has just left. You can enter now," Merlin said as he continued to watch. However, he turned off the microphone to ask, "Are you going to seek help? I can understand not wanting to call in a psychiatrist or therapist through our services but I can't see you ignoring this."

"What makes you think I'm ignoring it?" asked Harry, not denying anything but also not giving anything away.

"Harry any-take a right now-any normal person would be severely traumatized after being mind controlled. If you thought it would affect your work I know you'd speak up but even if it doesn't affect your work, that doesn't mean-the code is 92-67-16-4-that doesn't mean it still won't affect you," Merlin finally finished as he simultaneously directed the man through the building and talked to Harry. "Please tell me you've at least toyed with the idea of talking to someone."

"It's only subconsciously, in the dreams and such," Harry responded.

"There's a guard entering on your left. Harry, please just don't let it fester."

"I've come to terms with what I did. The act of mind control though… Any agent, no matter what organization they are with, has been uncomfortable about a mission somewhere down the line. But they always had a choice."

"And you didn't," Merlin softly finished. "A car will be outside for you. There's a guard straight ahead of you." He sighed and glanced at Harry. "Would you care to talk after this?"

"No, but it may help. If the nightmares persist I'll go to a professional."

Merlin nodded and continued directing the Kingsman through the mission until he was at the safe point. It was only then that he fully turned to Harry and asked, "Would you like to go somewhere now? Since you are finally able to leave?"

"Only my flat but you are more than welcomed to come."

"I think I will. Let me just finish up here," Merlin responded. He only took a moment and then was walking side by side with Harry. They took the shuttle to the Tailor Shop and then walked down the street to Harry's flat.

Harry let out a large, rather happy sounding sigh as he looked around his apartment. Thankfully it hadn't changed since his last visit and Merlin had made sure someone had come by to tidy up the place just so it wasn't dusty either. Harry carefully took off and folded his jacket across an arm of his chair and then lightly placed himself in it.

"Oh it feels good to be home," Harry said with a small satisfied smile on his face. "Now, I said I'd talk."

"You don't have to. It was only a suggestion," reminded Merlin.

Nodding, Harry said, "Understandable but you're right; I may feel better afterwards. I think the most unnerving thing is that it's not like a dream where everything is warped or doesn't quite make sense and you just don't realize it until you wake up. It's more like a replay of that exact event again and again, nothing changing."

"Have you ever tried to change anything?" asked Merlin sitting across from him.

"Always," Harry replied with a sigh. "Nothing ever does though. Still, it is honestly better telling you this than paying someone to listen to it." He sighed; then gestured with his hand for Merlin to come over. He did and Harry took one of his hands, softly stroking it before finally bringing it to his lips in a soft kiss.

"Merlin," said Harry, "I do appear like myself, don't I?"

Giving him a rather worried face, Merlin carefully said, "Harry…"

"Just wondering," he replied, kissing Merlin's hand once more. "Thank you for being here when I need it. You've always been an invaluable friend and companion."

"Well I certainly try," responded Merlin. He loosened his hand and moved behind Harry. "Here, your shoulders are stiff as hell."

Massaging, Harry's back, he allowed a small smile to show as he saw Harry finally loosen and grow at ease under his touch. Afterwards he slowed down and asked, "Better?"

"Much, thank you Merlin."

Moving back around so Harry could see his face, Merlin knelt beside him and moved the conversation back to what they had previously been talking about. "Before, why would you ask something like that?"

"Assurance," Harry replied. Upon Merlin's slightly worried look he added, "I know I'm me. But my view of the past me is warped and, to an extent, I can't fully trust it. I just wanted to make sure I hadn't changed."

"Well of course you've changed," supplied Merlin, "but I still love you. So however you've changed it hasn't changed the part of you that matters."

"You really are an excellent speaker. Thank you," Harry said with a small smile. Looking off at one of the windows, he asked, "What time is it?"

"Nearly one in the morning."

"Bed appears to be the most logical choice then. There will be plenty to do tomorrow."

"Agreed."

Merlin wordlessly followed Harry to bed, both always having kept some of their cloths at the other's house. They changed and climbed into bed, Harry immediately pulling Merlin closer. "I feel like I haven't said thank you enough for all that you do for me."

"You know you never have to but it's always appreciated when you do so. All I want is for you to be okay Harry."

"I am okay, not perfect but okay." Harry responded. He softly turned Merlin's face to look at his. He wasn't positive when he'd last said this, maybe he'd never vocally expressed it, but if not then it was time he did. "I love you."

"Agus Bidh gaol agam ort fad mo bheatha, thusa 's gun duine eile."

Harry didn't ask what the sentence meant, knowing the meaning from the emotions put behind in word.

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**AN: This chapter is a little sadder than the first two but I wanted to stick in some really heartfelt moments. The next will defiantly be lighter and will probably include Eggsy and others again.**

**Still, I probably won't be able to pop out the next chapter as quickly but I'll try. I hope everyone is enjoying this and thank you so much to every reviewer or person who has bookmarked and favorited this story!**

**Also, hopefully I got the translation right as at the end Merlin is speaking Scottish Gaelic and is saying "And I will love you my whole life, you and no other."**


	4. Under Cover Under Covers Part 1

Eggsy gaped at Roxy. "You mean together _together_?"

"Well the woman hates men and I'd go but this is a two man job and she doesn't mind gays and—"

"I know why we have two guys going under cover but I'm more interested with the comment 'they're perfect for the job' which I've been hearing everyone say," Eggsy responded, raising his eyebrows and using his hands to overdramatize the entire affair.

"Well then yes, they are together _together_ as you so eloquently put it. I thought everyone knew."

"No! Is there like some secret club within the Secret Service called 'Those who know about Harry and Merlin'?"

Roxy rolled her eyes and simply gestured for him to continue following her. "_Anyways_, what I was trying to tell you is that we're going to be covering them. Basically doing what Merlin usually does."

"Why?"

"Because the need for people in the field won't always be top priority. Besides, it will be a good experience for us. Merlin's going to give us the specifics now."

Once Eggsy walked into the room designated "Merlin's", he had to actually stop and cover his mouth. "What _are_ you wearing?"

"It's for the mission," grumbled Merlin.

Merlin sat, looking stiff and uncomfortable, in dark, skinny jeans, a deep green button down shirt that drew tight across his chest, and a dark sweater vest. All of this was accompanied by an overcoat that was thrown over the back of his chair. It honestly didn't look bad on Merlin, just much tighter and more hip than anything Eggsy had seen him wear.

He had nothing on Harry though. Eggsy just had to let out a laugh for that.

Compared with Merlin's darker colors, he wore light pastels, slim slacks, a simple patterned long sleeved shirt, light sweater, and a scarf with multiple colors on it. Though he looked more comfortable than Merlin, the clothes were still a shock compared with his usual dark suits.

However, before Harry could comment on Eggsy's snicker, Eggsy quickly walked over and grabbed one end of the scarf and threw it over Harry's shoulder. "There, it looks better than simply being draped down your front."

"Hmm, I'll take your word for it. Has Lancelot briefed you yet?"

"I could only get in a few words. I figured Merlin could explain it," Roxy responded.

Merlin simply rolled his eyes and brought up the profile of a woman with a rather pinched face. "This is Lotta Carlstedt. Though she's known for several illegal practices, the main one is selling organs on the Black Market for transplant. She utterly hates men, especially gentlemen—"

"Ironic," muttered Eggsy.

"—which most likely stems from her rather drawn out and ugly divorce to her husband, now missing. However, she doesn't mind homosexuals, more than likely because she doesn't feel threatened by them. Arthur and I have been in contact with her for some weeks as she's been looking for a new business partner. We'll actually be approaching her in the selling and movement of weapons and will try to obtain more information on her organization. The goal is to completely take down her empire, not just a part, so it will take some time. Once myself and Arthur are able to get in and plant the necessary cameras and microphones, we'll leave and then the next part will be to simply wait until enough information is gained."

"What we'll be doing is monitoring their progress through their feeds and also any security feeds we can hack. Mainly, we'll just make sure that their cover is never blown and that no one catches onto them," Roxy finished.

"Any questions?" asked Harry.

"Yeah, why didn't you ever tell me? I feel like the only person who didn't know," Eggsy grumbled.

"There didn't really seem to be an appropriate moment to discuss my romantic interests," Harry responded, looking curiously at Eggsy. "I apologize if you wished to know but such thoughts honestly never crossed my mind."

"No, it's not like you had to tell me, just felt out of the loop is all. Happy for you either way," replied Eggsy with a small awkward shrug. Then he put on a smile and asked, "So are you married to the job or simply partners?"

Merlin let out a disgruntled sigh as Harry gave a small chuckle.

"Partners," Harry responded and then checked his watch, giving a small nod. "It's time we leave for our flight. Come along Merlin and Lancelot."

"Wait, you said we'd both be monitoring them," Eggsy said as he gave Roxy an accusing glare.

Roxy gave him a bright grin. "And we will, just from different positions. They need a pilot after all."

Eggsy rolled his eyes but didn't say anything else, instead taking Merlin's usual seat. He began setting up anything that Merlin hadn't already done and began reading a bit more on the background of Ms. Lotta.

Harry, Merlin, and Roxy headed towards the plane, all bags and gear already on it. On the way, Harry said, "You know your name, correct?"

"Eva Grace. I'm your pilot as well as your niece," Roxy responded evenly. "We're going to Switzerland to meet with Lotta Carlstedt to discuss business arrangements and to also supply her with a small arsenal of weapons, mainly as an act of good favor."

"Very good," Harry said with an approving smile.

They soon arrived at the plane, double checked everything, and then headed out. Merlin stayed with Roxy to make sure she did the start up procedures correctly but there was no reason to worry. Finally putting the plane on autopilot, Roxy and Merlin went back to where Harry had a computer up.

Merlin sat down and rubbed his hand against his face. "I can't wait until I'm back to my old clothes."

"Really? I think Lancelot did an excellent job picking them out," replied Harry.

Roxy grinned and added, "Yes, they really flatter your figure."

"I feel like I'm going to pop a fucking button. Don't laugh at that Harry!"

When Harry did, Merlin could only shake his head and grabbed himself a drink. As he looked over Harry's and Roxy's shoulders, Merlin sighed, "I can't believe we're going to have to get friendly with this woman. She looks like someone put an entire lemon into her mouth."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better she rules by fear which means that once we truly start tearing her empire apart, many people will leave without any force."

"We have records of a few that have actually tried to contact the police in several different parts of the world but before they can explain everything, or at least give proof, they disappear," Roxy said. "We don't have any proof but I wouldn't be surprised if she's been using them for the organ transplants."

"It would certainly make it easier to get rid of evidence," Merlin said into his drink.

They continued to discuss the woman and anything else they needed to until they arrived at the designated landing zone. Roxy requested landing and then did so easily. Outside waited a group of ten men and women that looked more like body guards than greeters and making it clear that Lotta didn't trust them.

"We'll all walk out together. No need to unnecessarily spook any of them," Harry commented as he gathered his bags, Merlin and Roxy quickly doing the same.

Harry walked out first followed by Roxy and then Merlin. A woman approached them but it wasn't Lotta.

"I had created the assumption that we would be meeting Ms. Carlstedt today," Harry said.

"I'm her second in command and you will soon but I'm to take you to your hotel first. Who's the girl? I was told only you and your partner would be coming."

"She's my pilot and my niece," Harry responded, putting a loving arm around her and pulling her close. Roxy added in a large smile as Harry quickly added, "I hope it's alright she's along. I didn't even think to ask."

"Ms. Carlstedt has set you up in the penthouse suite. There will be plenty of room for her. She's simply not allowed along on any business rendezvous with Ms. Carlstedt," the woman responded.

"I completely understand. Do you know when we'll be meeting Ms. Carlstedt?"

"At nine o'clock, giving you an hour before then," she replied. She then gestured towards the people behind her. "Let them take your bags." Snapping her fingers, they came forward and the three of them handed it all over without any protest. They would undoubtedly look through them but they wouldn't find anything.

"Thank you so much. How long is it to the hotel?" asked Harry.

"Only a few minutes. Follow me."

There was little talk in the car except the exchanging of names. Finally there, the woman, named Sada, took them to their room along with a few people who continued to carry their bags. She used a keycard for the elevator and the door opened right into the suite.

Stepping in, she handed the card over to Harry. "Someone will come to get you in a little less than an hour. Please be ready at that time."

"Of course, and you can just place the bags right here. Thank you again," Harry said.

Once the elevator doors closed, Merlin began to tap at his watch. "The blasted thing is an hour behind."

"Didn't I say you needed a new watch? That one is falling apart," sighed Harry. As Merlin continued to mess with it, Harry, casually glanced around but in actuality was looking for signs of cameras. Roxy moved her hands into crevices and underneath tables for any devices.

Finally Merlin relaxed and said softly, "Nothing, this room is clean. We should double check the other rooms just incase."

The action didn't take long and finally the three of them were back in the main room. "Eggsy?" asked Harry into the comms.

"I'm here. Ready to see if her face really looks like that in real life?"

"I wouldn't say ready but we'll certainly find out," muttered Roxy.

* * *

**AN: Don't know how long this section will be. Hope everyone is still enjoying it!**


	5. Under Cover Under Covers Part 2

Roxy set up a station in her bedroom as Eggsy double checked everything at Kingsman. It wasn't long until Sada came back and then Merlin and Harry were being pushed off towards the meeting which happened to be at some type of club. They were led into a backroom and then asked to sit. Though the lights had the same florescent tones of the club floor, it was an extremely nice and well put together space.

This time Merlin didn't risk messing around with the watch having spotted two cameras, and more than likely microphones too, before sitting down. Instead he immediately set himself into the roll and wrapped himself closely to Harry. Neither of them were big on public displays of affection, it just wasn't them, but for now they needed to do so to make sure Ms. Lotta believed their cover. Also, Merlin was pretty sure he'd need to hold onto something if Ms. Lotta said anything to insulting.

Once she did walk in, Merlin realized her pictures didn't do her justice. She had an even more soured look about her.

"Mr. Chambers and Poole, what a delight to finally meet you," she said, sitting down before either could do anything. "I have been looking forward to our meeting."

"As have I. It's been absolutely wonderful talking to you Ms. Carlstedt," Harry replied.

"Please, I've never been one for such formalities. Besides, we're going to be partners. Call me Lotta. And your names are…hold on. I think Rogers and Jonathan."

"Richard and James," Harry corrected her, gesturing to Merlin as he said James.

"I'm so sorry, I'm just so terrible with names. So Richard, you mentioned bringing me some toys?"

"Yes, and free of charge. I figured that tomorrow or whenever you're not busy we could show them to you," Harry responded.

"Wonderful. Now, you've sent me a list of all the items that you're willing to sell, really quite impressive, but I must ask why now. It can't be the money," said Lotta.

"We're—"

That was Merlin's queue. "Richard do you really think we should?"

"We must at least ask," Harry responded. He glanced over at Lotta who looked much more interested. Harry fully turned to her and gave her possibly the biggest puppy dog stare. "You know how my niece flew us here?"

"Yes, speaking of her I'd love to meet her, but what does she have to do with you wanting to set up a business connection?"

"It's my sister, her mother. She…she's dying."

Give Harry a fucking BAFTA, thought Merlin. It was perfect; the way he allowed his voice to catch and the way he momentarily avoided eye contact. Merlin added to the effect by moving closer and gripping him tight, rubbing his shoulder softly.

"I'm terribly sorry but what do you think I could do?"

"The problem is in her heart and a transplant would be possible with minimal risk but…oh—"

"It's alright Richard," Merlin murmured. He then finished for Harry and said, "She was an alcoholic and a smoker. She's quit both but it means that they won't do anything because there are more people that would likely live longer than her."

"That's horrible! But why are you getting involved and not her husband?"

"He's not in the picture," Harry finally said. "_Thankfully_."

"Hmm, was he horrible?"

"Completely. And very abusive. I got rid of him…fairly quickly," Harry responded.

What was probably meant to be a smile came across Lotta's face. "My husband was extremely abhorrent as well. Would you like to know how I got rid of him?"

"Depends? Can I tell you how I made my brother-in-law disappear?" replied Harry with an easy going smile.

"Oh please do. I love hearing about disgusting creatures having their lives ended," Lotta responded. "Well, my husband never paid attention to me, liked to take credit for my work, and constantly slept with other women. Then, as if to add insult to injury, he tried to go to the police and get me put in prison. One of my men caught him before he could. Understandably so, I cut him apart piece by piece in front of a mirror, keeping him alive and awake throughout the entire process. He's still alive in fact, unable to move or talk, to see, but he can think. Fitting, no?"

If Merlin hadn't been undercover he would have shuttered. He wouldn't even wish that on his worst enemy. However, he kept a fairly calm demeanor and listened intently as Harry began talking. They hadn't discussed this so Merlin had no idea what Harry would come up with.

"Very fitting," responded Harry. "I must say I'm impressed."

"Thank you. So what did you do with your brother-in-law?"

"Well, the first thing you must understand is that he was an extremely large man. Not so much in height but in girth. A pig if you will," Harry commented causing another smile from Lotta and another repressed shiver from Merlin.

It was clear that Harry was mimicking her, trying to create a kinship feeling, but where as Lotta came off as creepy, Harry was much more terrifying. And he hadn't even gone into detail about the murder of the made up man.

"Anyways, I started off by poisoning him over a matter of weeks. Never enough to kill but it always made him horribly sick. No matter what he put in his mouth it came up moments later. He eventually became so weak he couldn't even raise a hand against my sister. I would have let her do what she wanted with him after that but I knew she would be to kind to give him a real punishment. Instead, James here took her out for a week as I promised to take care of her husband."

"Interesting, please continue," Lotta said leaning forward.

"First I forced him through the torture he'd put my sister through. The only difference was he didn't have a hospital or younger brother to run to and patch him up. Then I began to show him how much he had angered me. I started by pulling out his finger and toe nails. Then I covered each fleshy and bleeding stub with salt which I dipped into lemon juice. By this point he had become much to talkative."

Lotta raised her eyebrows. "So you cut out his tongue?"

"That would have been to simple. I cut it in half and tied it in a knot in his throat."

"Oh how wonderful! That truly is terrific! Please keep going!" cried out Lotta as Harry kept his easy going smile.

Merlin felt sick however. He knew Harry was appealing to the woman's twisted mind but that didn't make it any easier to listen to him say such things. What did help was how Harry squeezed his hand from underneath the table, trying for at least a small bit of comfort.

"You probably would have loved the way he squirmed and choked on it. I tortured him a bit more after that but I won't bore you with the details. I killed him by ripping out one of his eyes and shoving it down his throat and making him choke on it. That way he could finally see what a piece of shit he really was."

Harry leaned back with a rather satisfied look across his face as Lotta cackled, clapping her hands in delight.

Having been so enraptured in Harry's improvisation, Merlin hadn't noticed how Lotta had moved around the circular booth. She was now right next to him and Merlin had to resist the urge to jump when she pinched his face. For Christ's sake he was over forty not just over four!

"It's funny. You look like the dark and brooding one James but I'm beginning to think Richard is the dark one, even with that cute face of his and those pretty cloths," said Lotta as she messed with Merlin's glasses. "But you, even with the florescent lighting taken into account, you look a bit green."

"I've never been big on Richard's stories. Especially that one," Merlin responded. He couldn't help the slight disgust that entered his voice which really added to the cover but he could feel Harry inching slightly closer, most likely worried.

Lotta smirked, tapping the side of Merlin's head. However, she looked at Harry as she said, "You really have a keeper here. Such a sweet heart and utterly adorable despite first impressions."

"I do enjoy keeping him around. But onto business—"

"Oh forget business! We'll talk business tomorrow at lunch."

"And my sister's heart?"

"We'll get her a heart. No problem. But tonight we socialize!"

Lotta called around for drinks and for about an hour more they chatted and laughed. Well, more often Harry and Lotta talked. Merlin laughed, nodded his head at the right moments, but he mostly kept a silent, awkward stance to the entire situation. He supposed it worked for the dynamic and Lotta honestly seemed to like him more now anyways.

When Harry finally made the suggestion of bed, Lotta quickly agreed. However, before leaving she hugged both, and whispered into Harry's ear, "I think we're going to be great partners. You're both to interesting not to keep around."

Sada took them back to their suite and it was only once she had left that Harry relaxed against Merlin and actually buried his head into the crook of his shoulder. It shocked Merlin but was comforting nonetheless.

"Harry…hey we're done for tonight. We did well, didn't get much information but we got so much closer to her," Merlin said, trying to sound reassuring.

Harry sighed, "Yes, I suppose I just needed some breathing room. Roxy, did you get everything?"

Roxy left her room and gave a quick nod. "I recognized one of the women around her but other than that no extra information. That was quick thinking in there."

"Thank you," Harry said with a sigh. "Eggsy, everything go well on your end?"

Merlin jolted slightly, for the first forgetting the comm in his ear.

"Yeah, I looked into that night club you were at. Not much I could find but my guess is she's probably laundering money through it. We won't be able to find out much more until you're able to get into her base of operation and we can get our eyes and ears in there," Eggsy responded. "Is that all?"

"For tonight. Thank you Eggsy. We'll call you if needed," said Harry. He then turned to Roxy and added, "You're relieved as well."

Roxy gave a quick nod and a small smile. "Goodnight Arthur, Merlin."

As she left, Harry headed towards his room with Merlin following. Once the door was closed, Harry took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "I'm so sorry Merlin."

"You were only doing your job."

"But it bothered you, that was obvious. It also…it bothered me."

Merlin quickly approached and gripped Harry's arms. "What do you mean?"

"It came to easily, the words and ideas." Harry hesitated but Merlin could tell the words that would come next. God, he didn't want to hear them but he knew that they were coming. "I didn't feel in control."

"Harry we are aborting this mission! We are taking you home and making sure you're okay and—"

"We can't! It's already gone off to a great start and we can't leave now," Harry pushed. "Once it's over I'll do whatever you ask of me but we have to continue with this."

"Please don't say that…please," Merlin whispered.

"I have to, it's our job. I will follow whatever you want after this but we can't just quit."

"Stopping her empire could help a lot of people, get rid of a large percent of illegal trafficking, I understand that," replied Merlin. "Right now you're just so much more important though."

Harry's face softened and he pulled Merlin close. "I'll be careful. I'll tell you if it's gone to far. But we will finish this mission. I know we can."

Merlin didn't reply to that, only gripped Harry tighter and buried his face into his chest. For a while they could only stand like that but finally Merlin pulled back and said, "I need to get out of these blasted cloths. Bed?"

"Sounds perfect to me."

Both of them stayed awake longer than necessary; worry, doubt, fear, and uncertainty running through their heads; but neither said a thing. Instead they pretended the other was asleep and simply remained as close as possible until exhaustion finally took them.


	6. Under Cover Under Covers Part 3

**AN: So this story isn't going at all how I planned and it's getting way darker than I intended. Hope everyone is still enjoying it, can't wait to here what you have to say, and I'll probably have one last part to Under Cover Under Covers.**

* * *

"Hey, is everything alright with Harry?" asked Eggsy the next day as he and Roxy monitored the lunch. He made sure that only Roxy could hear him and not Harry or Merlin.

There was hesitation on Roxy's end giving a clear answer but she finally responded anyways. "Maybe, it's certainly possible. After he told me I was relieved and I went back to my bedroom I heard yelling."

"Yelling?"

"Like Merlin and him were arguing about something. I couldn't make it out though and before I could get closer they stopped. It was short, didn't break anything or whatnot, but I'm sure it was about the meeting with Lotta Carlstedt."

"And more specifically their covers," Eggsy replied.

"It could have been something else—"

"Like what? Of course it was about the characters they were playing! I mean were you listening? Harry was fucking terrifying."

"I wouldn't exactly go that far," murmured Roxy as she wrote down what Lotta was saying. It was simple meeting instructions for picking up each new payload but she didn't want to miss anything. Nevertheless, she multi-tasked and continued her discussion with Eggsy. "He was just playing his part, trying to get closer to Carlstedt."

"Well there are probably a million other ways he could have done it," huffed Eggsy. "Don't tell me you weren't freaked out either."

Roxy faltered on her end. "Perhaps it was a bit…unusual. But Harry's probably gone under cover loads of times. Who knows what rolls he's had to play."

Eggsy grumbled but finally agreed with her. "I suppose you're right. But that doesn't account for Merlin and him arguing. Just doesn't make sense."

"I'll speak to Merlin later then; get us the answers we're looking for."

"You sure he'd reveal them?"

"No but I can certainly try to get something out of his reaction, even if he does lie," sighed Roxy. Suddenly her eyes widened. "You heard that too right?"

"Holy shit! She's already inviting them to her damn headquarters!" Eggsy cried. "Good job Harry and Merlin! She's practically eating up everything they're saying!"

They continued to watch and listen as Merlin, Harry, and Lotta finished their drinks, the food long gone.

Harry was grinning again as he raised his drink to Lotta in a small salute and then swallowed the rest of it. "I must say, I'm curious as to how you've been able to transport all these organs. Have you found out a way to deep freeze them without the crystals forming?"

"Oh no, it's much simpler than that," Lotta said as she stood up. "Come come, I'm dying to see your reaction."

Merlin and Harry followed her back to the car they had ridden in only this time Lotta joined them. Even though the windows were tinted, it was child's play for Eggsy and Roxy to track their journey and soon they had the location of Lotta's base of operations.

Lotta lead the two into the compound, taking them through a warehouse like area and then into the actual building. Walking through several corridors, they reached an area that closely resembled that of a hospital. They entered a room and Merlin couldn't help but come to an abrupt stop. He'd dealt with many strange and unique missions but this was unreal. It belonged in a twisted movie more so than real life.

Four people lay in the room, hooked up to a number of machines. They all had scars that looked like surgical cuts and one was even missing the skin that should have been on his face. Merlin was sure the other rooms most likely held similar images.

"Spectacular."

Merlin jerked his head over to stare at Harry. He simply gawked as Harry continued talking.

"You make them into vegetables, correct?" asked Harry as he moved to one man. "That way you can eventually harvest all their organs and over an extended period time."

"Yes, it's a wonderful process," Lotta said as she approached the person Harry stood over. "It really is amazing what the human body will suffer through. We have a man on dialysis right now since we removed both his kidneys already."

"And you even did a face transplant," murmured Harry in awe.

"Skin grafts are some of the easiest transplants to do. We can also have bone marrow transplants done too. Oh and brain transplants! Nothing has been successful yet but we've been studying ways of succeeding in that field as well."

"Utterly wonderful. It truly is ingenious Lotta."

"Thank you Richard. It's fantastic to finally meet someone who fully appreciates and understands what I'm doing." She paused and then suddenly looked back. "Though it's clear your partner does not."

For a split second, Merlin could see the change from Richard to Harry as an extremely concerned look crossed his face. However, Merlin waved his hand in a nonchalant matter and said, "No, I am astounded by what you've done. I simply don't have…the stomach so to speak. Richard tends to deal with the messier matters and I with the numbers."

"Poor dear, you're going green again. It's amazing you got into this business at all. There's a bathroom just down the hall on your right."

"Thank you that would be much appreciated." Merlin hastily retreated, deciding to use this as an opportunity.

Harry on the other hand slipped back into his roll, the move somewhat easier without having to see Merlin's face. "He's always been touchy with certain things. He can shoot a man with no qualms but you add different methods of torture or simply what you're doing here, he simply can't take it."

"Funny thing," murmured Lotta. She then turned back towards Harry, all teeth showing. "Since we don't have to worry about your little boy for a while, how about you show me that trick?"

"What trick?"

"The one with the tongue of course! It's not like we're going to do a tongue transplant and I just must see."

Harry's stomach curled tightly but he didn't let it show. As a last minute attempt to get out of it, he said, "Well I can't possibly do it with just my hands."

Walking over to a closet, Lotta pulled out a box from it and pulled out a scalpel.

"No gloves?" asked Harry.

"You honestly mind getting blood on your hands?"

"Not at all."

Taking the scalpel, Harry wanted to back down, wanted to step away and say no. But one glance at Lotta told him what this really was. If he didn't do this she'd assume he'd been lying and if he'd lied about the brother-in-law then that could lead to a number of other things. His cover would be blown. Harry turned back to the unconscious person and opened up their mouth.

This wasn't the first time Harry had been forced to do something unpleasant to keep his cover. It was the most gruesome and gut wrenching however.

Harry had never stuck his hand fully into a man's mouth and though it was rather revolting, it wasn't as disgusting as it could have been due to its dryness. He pulled the tongue out and sliced through the frenulum, the part that connected to the bottom of the mouth. Before he went further, he turned the man's head to the side so that any blood wouldn't choke him to death and would instead dribble out onto the pillow. He then sliced the tongue in half in one easy motion.

Blood quickly welled up and began to flow onto his hands but Harry ignored it with little difficulty, instead focusing on the knot he now had to tie. Disregarding everything around him, Harry imagined he was tying a slippery rope instead of a tongue. Though it took time, he only needed one try before he finished.

"Hmm, it's more disgusting than I thought. I must remember that technique," Lotta said with an approving nod. "To bad he's not conscious. I would love to see his reaction."

"Ha-hey-uh, Richard. What's going on?"

"Simply showing her what I did to my brother-in-law. She wanted to know what it truly looked like." Harry approached him. "Are you alright?"

"I was a bit better. Little worse now."

Right, the blood.

Harry dropped his hands and instead of apologizing, instead of telling Merlin it was alright like he wanted to, he kept a rather charming look and asked, "Perhaps you'd like to step out for a while? No need for you to see this darling if you don't want to."

"What else are you planning on doing?"

Resisting the urge to flinch at the accusation, Harry said, "Depends on how much fun Lotta wants to have. Please go take care of yourself, I'd rather not see you sick again."

Merlin hesitated but finally gave one, uneasy nod. "I'll be back in five."

Lotta watched with interest. "I'm surprised he puts up with you. I assume you do things like this quite often from how easy your mutilation appeared."

"To be perfectly honest he's become a little reliant on me. But he improves business and it is enjoyable messing with him so I keep him around anyways. Now, perhaps I should wash this blood off."

"If you must."

Harry raised his eyebrows at her curiously.

"The red simply suits you. Almost like putting the last piece of a puzzle in place."

The urge to throw up was almost unbearable. He smiled instead. Harry went to wash up and when he came back, Merlin was already there as well. Harry noted how he didn't smile when he entered the room.

"I was just telling with Lotta it was about time we take our leave. Unless of course there's anything else you want to show us," Merlin said.

"One last thing and then I'll leave you two for the rest of the day. Follow me."

Moving throughout the building and away from the hospital room, they came to a door. Lotta used a pad to scan her hand print and her eye. Then she used a key to unlock the door. "My office," she explained.

Walking in, both Merlin and Harry began taking note of all objects in the place but were interrupted in their analyze-ation as Lotta turned on another light which lit a darkened corner.

"I just had to return to the favor Richard. Say hello to my husband."

This time Merlin didn't even try to stay; he rushed out of the room, the image of empty eye sockets burned into his mind as he tried to forget the fleshy mass he'd just seen.


	7. Under Cover Under Covers Part 4

Merlin had never felt so sick in his life. And as if to make matters worse Lotta was still here, insisting on driving with them back to their suite. And Harry was laughing with her, acting like nothing had happened. Perhaps he had become softer at some point, maybe he just didn't have the stomach for this kind of mission, but that didn't seem right.

Lotta was disturbingly grotesque in ways that only fictional characters were usually like. And Harry…he was so fucking worried about Harry.

So no, Merlin hadn't grown soft. It was simply that the mission he was currently stuck in belonged in the unrated cut of a rated R movie from Quentin Tarantino and not real life.

He wasn't quite sure what he'd do once he was alone with Harry but when they were finally back at the suite, Merlin even surprised himself. Grabbing Harry's shirt, he shoved him against the wall before the other could react.

"Tell me you're disgusted with her! Tell me you want to puke your guts out and burn that bitch to the ground! Tell me you want to die after what you've just seen!"

"Merlin what—"

"I couldn't see you Harry! I looked at you and I couldn't fucking see you!" Merlin yelled, his accent growing thicker as his voice quickened and his words ran into each other. "You simply mutilated that man! You looked at that woman's disfigured husband and laughed! You bloody well continued your conversation and when I looked to you for support I didn't see Harry fucking Hart!"

"Merlin…"

Instead of it being Harry, it was Roxy that said it making Merlin achingly aware that he wasn't alone. He wondered if Eggsy was still listening too. He wouldn't blame the kid if he was or if he'd simply walked off either in shock or disgust.

"Please leave us." That was Harry. He seemed to slightly choke on the words causing Merlin to loosen his grip but not let go.

When Roxy hesitated, Harry gave a small nod, only turning back to Merlin when she was gone.

Merlin wished he hadn't been interrupted because now he didn't know what to say. He'd lost his train of thought. Yet, suddenly Harry was wrapping his arms around Merlin's and gripping his hands and when Merlin finally looked up, he saw tears forming in Harry's eyes.

"Would I have ever gone through with this? Before. Would I have done that simply to keep my cover?" asked Harry softly.

"I don't know."

"I did feel disgusted you know. I wanted to get away." Harry responded. "But staying in Richard Chamber's skin felt easier, more comfortable. Part of me wanted to stay."

Merlin's chest hurt from how quickly his heart was beating. He didn't know what to say so instead he waited for Harry to continue.

"It's over you know. The mission."

"What!?"

"When you ran out, I took advantage of Lotta's distraction and planted the necessary devices needed," Harry said. He then hesitated but continued with, "We don't have to cleanly leave. We can just disappear. We can just go…go home."

When Merlin couldn't respond, Harry continued. "We never have to see Lotta again or her empire. I can have the others take care of it."

Slowly, Merlin regulated his breathing. In a soft whisper he commanded, "Tell me your name."

"Harry Hart."

"Tell me who we work for."

"The Kingsman."

"Tell me who you are."

"A man who is more broken than first expected," Harry responded. "A man who never meant for this to go so far. A man that wants to hurt. A man who wants to save. A man who wishes he could take back the last twenty-four hours."

Merlin gave a small nod.

"Is that acceptable?" asked Harry.

"Yeah, yeah it is."

"We'll leave now."

"Right now?"

"Yes."

"Then we will," murmured Merlin. "We'll leave and then you're taking time off."

"A Kingsman doesn't—"

"I don't care what a Kingsman does or doesn't do. You are human Harry!" stressed Merlin as he pulled himself closer. "Humans have limits, breaking points. You're reaching yours; you know it and I know it. But I also understand something you don't; your hero-complex. You are willing to kill yourself, to push yourself to the edge, whether that means saving the world or saving one. But I will not allow you to break. I can't allow you to break."

Harry leaned forward and simply rested his head against Merlin's. He was shaking slightly but finally commented, "This isn't a dream is it."

"If only it was."

Merlin then guided Harry back to their room telling him to just calm down and pack before headed over to Roxy's.

Her head whipped up when he came in with a guilty expression on it and Merlin wouldn't have been surprised if she had heard most, if not all, of the conversation.

"Pack your things, we're leaving."

Roxy nodded, hesitated for half a second and then asked, "Is Arthur alright?"

"I don't know." Merlin hoped she didn't ask any more questions that he didn't have answers to but before he could go he realized he hadn't something important to ask her as well. "Have you been in contact with Galahad?"

"Yes, he's…he's worried sick. I suppose it's a good thing we're leaving because he's been threatening to run over here," Roxy responded. "And you said we're leaving now?"

"Yes."

"What about the plane? The private airstrip we landed on? Won't her men be there? What about the chance they just get up and move everything?"

Roxy had valid points but Merlin had some of his own. "I've seen many criminal operations just get up and leave but there was simply to much at her building to do that. It's to concrete of a location for her to leave it. Besides, she keeps her husband alive and in her office; she's sentimental and less likely to leave," responded Merlin. "And even if she did, because of that sentimentality and the incriminating evidence she'd most likely clean out that building and all tracking devices and microphones have been placed on and in the crevices of furniture."

"But what about the plane?"

"I'll formulate some type of accuse. Even if it doesn't work we can always take them on guns blazing."

"You're really serious about getting back immediately," murmured Roxy.

"I am. Now hurry, we're leaving in ten."

Merlin left to go back to his and Harry's room only to find him starring at his hands in an almost curious manner.

"Harry…"

He twitched slightly and then quickly put his hands back in his lap. His face seemed to change slightly, become more pained as he asked, "How is she?"

"She's fine. Certainly better composed than myself," responded Merlin.

"Well, you must take into account that she isn't invested in my well-being as much as you are," Harry said.

"Speaking of your well-being, what have your nightmares been like?" Merlin created a commanding voice, this time feeling bad at broaching Harry's privacy but also fearing what he might try to hide.

"The same, never-ending," replied Harry. "I suspect they'll escalate after this."

Merlin gave a small nod as he went around collecting everything. When he was finished, he noted how Harry still hadn't moved. He had gone back to looking at his hands. Merlin added the scene to the growing list of things he'd have to tell a doctor, or psychiatrist for that matter. A calmer look had come across his face once looking at his hands again, plainer, no emotion.

"Harry."

"You're done," he commented mostly to himself as his head jerked upwards. "You should have said something. I would have helped."

"No need," murmured Merlin as he came over and slightly kissed Harry. "We're leaving in two minutes."

"Where are you going?"

"I have to make one last call before we leave," Merlin replied. He left the room and quickly dialed up Lotta Carlstedt.

"Which one is it? Richard or James?" came the reply on the other end.

"James. I just needed to inform you we'll have to be leaving now."

"Really? Why the sudden leave? We still had much to discuss."

"I've just discovered one of my men have been trying to steal weapons and sell them off on their own."

"And you have to back simply because of that? Have someone lower take care of it."

"I would but Richard would like to use him as an example. You know how he is," Merlin responded with a small gulp.

"Oh do I know! Well in that case I'll have your plane readied. It really has been wonderful darling but there is one thing I have to tell you before you go."

"Yes."

There was a laugh on the other end and then Lotta was saying, "Be careful around him darling. Anyone else and I wouldn't care but you're so sweet. He'll either corrupt you or kill you."

Merlin kept a neutral face as he clinched his fist so hard it shook. "I'll keep that in mind," he said, thus ending the last conversation he'd ever have with Lotta Carlstedt.

* * *

**AN: This is the last part to this small arc. This has caused my story to go into a place that I didn't expect so we'll see where it goes from here on out. Sorry for the sudden darkness but hopefully you're still enjoying it.**

**And a quick thank you to everyone who has commented or liked my story. It really means a lot!**


	8. Distractions

"This is starting to become a pattern," murmured the doctor as she walked side by side with Merlin. "The first time it was for getting himself blown up, second time for getting shot in the head, and now this."

"Do you have any theories?" asked Merlin, ignoring the doctor's small rant.

"Well from what I've already examined and from your own observations it could equally be neurological or psychological. And then there is of course the possibility that he's received so much physical damage that those changes have led to changes in his psyche. The tests we originally performed didn't reveal anything but I'll have to do more in-depth tests before I can fully rule in or out the neurological part."

"And the psychological part?" questioned Merlin.

"We'll pass him along to another doctor," she replied.

"He's not just an object that you pass around at will," growled out Merlin before he could help it.

"I'm sorry, I meant no disrespect," replied the doctor, clearly not intimated. "If anything I respect him more. Despite all that he's been though, he's still able to succeed in completely running Kingsman."

"He's still working?!"

The doctor gave Merlin a grueling look. "You have no experience in this as I have thankfully never had your presence in the infirmary for more than a day but every other Kingsman has been stuck there for an extended period of time at one point or another and not once have I been able to keep them from working. And this being Harry Hart makes that even truer. Besides, I suspect you'd be in the same boat."

Merlin sighed but couldn't argue with that.

"But back to what I was originally saying, you should make no mistake, whether it's psychological or neurological or both doesn't mean either or is any more treatable. The brain and the mind are dangerous places and sometimes all you can do is be there for support during the worst days."

"How has he appeared?"

"Mostly the same. Work seems to help him keep busy. But I will admit there are times when he's slightly off about things. Usually that occurs when there's nothing to occupy him."

Merlin gave a small nod as they finally came to Harry's door.

"We'll be performing a few routine scans this afternoon but you can visit him now. I believe Galahad is already there."

Despite being on edge and a little irritated, Merlin performed two clear knocks and waited for the command to enter. Once he did, he immediately walked over and took Harry's tablet away.

"You know I was using that."

The way he said it made Merlin want to collapse with relief. It was in his exact tone, with the right level of force, annoyance, and amusement. So instead of chewing Harry out about working, at least for the moment, he responded with, "Now you know how I feel."

"I rarely take your things."

"If by rarely you mean about ninety-five percent of the time then yes," responded Merlin.

Eggsy gave a small snort at that but began to stand as he said, "I can leave you two if you want some alone time."

"Nonsense stay/Thank you, yes."

Eggsy looked between Merlin and Harry both not quite glaring but certainly looking inquiringly at each other. Harry finally broke the stare with a roll of his eyes and said, "I'll see you later Eggsy. I believe I'm scheduled for several tests today but you may visit at any time."

"Thanks Harry. See you Merlin."

Once gone, Harry immediately said, "Before you chew me out about working—"

"I wasn't going to."

"Maybe not now but I know you would in the future then," responded Harry, "so I might as well get this out now. Any other agency, not just in the United Kingdom but in the world, would not allow me to still be here. Many would not even give me a chance and would discharge me then and there. But not only do the Kingsman trust me to do my job well, they are willing to wait and try to help me. That is a rare thing indeed so would so kindly give me my tablet back?"

"Fine, but only because the doctor said it helps keep you busy," Merlin responded. He finally sat down, rolling his neck with a sigh.

Harry looked over with an analytical eye and commented, "I really miss that green shirt you wore."

"Well you can keep missing it because I'm never wearing anything that tight again," muttered Merlin as he picked at his sweater. Loving how much more normal Harry appeared, Merlin hated to broach the subject but did so anyway, preferring it to come up now rather than later. "How are you though? Truthfully?"

"It's better being here," Harry responded immediately. "Not in the hospital bed of course but being in familiar territory. The flight here was calming, allowed me to collect my thoughts."

"But…"

"But I haven't even slept yet and when I close my eyes I see things that make me tremble," Harry continued. "They don't cause me fear though, only anticipation."

"Anticipation?"

"Something takes over when I allow such images and ideas to invade my thoughts. Not just violence in general but excessive violence like what Carlstedt showed. Like what I did. It reminds me of the Church."

"Unnecessary violence then," Merlin clarified. "Violence just for violence."

Harry hummed softly in agreement and then sprung the sentence, "I think I'm going to get another dog."

"Harry, what does that have to do with anything we were just talking about?"

"Nothing, which is why I'm saying it. Another terrier would be nice but I'm not sure."

Merlin opened his mouth to argue, to push, but then Harry looked at him and he realized just how bad of an idea that would be. Though he kept a rather even conversation and appeared fine, his eyes were now begging that Merlin go along with it, that for just a while he pretend that everything was fine.

And he did because no matter how much Merlin might want to help Harry, he could realize when taking a step back was more supportive than taking a step forward.

"Perhaps, PK was certainly nice but what about another breed?"

"I honestly don't know what breed I would choose though. And I don't understand why you insist on calling him that ridicules nickname."

"You named him Mr. Pickles," Merlin reminded him.

"A fine name."

"Harry, there are many _fine_ things that you have but the name of that dog has never been one of them."

"I still don't understand the problem."

Merlin rolled his eyes. "What about a German Sheppard?"

"You're only suggesting that because you had one."

"And you're only trying to stick with a terrier because you had one," Merlin countered.

Not denying or agreeing, Harry simply replied, "You can pick out the breed then but you're not naming him or her. I mean Banquo, really."

"Macbeth is perhaps my favorite, and one of the few, Shakespeare plays I can stand," said Merlin. "Besides, Banquo sounds interesting and is certainly better than Mr. Pickles." As Harry shook his head in an almost 'whatever' manner, Merlin fully took in what Harry had said. "You want to get a dog together?"

"I don't see why not," Harry responded easily. "We spend enough time at each other's place that it's not like the creature wouldn't know me as well as you."

"Then how about we just go to the pet store."

Harry looked curiously at Merlin. "What do you mean?"

"Just go to a store and pick out a dog. After you're released of course but I mean, it's always about putting things into a category isn't it? Forget breeds and we'll just go and pick out whichever dogs fits us the best. Doesn't matter if it's a purebred or a mutt," responded Merlin.

Nodding slowly, Harry said, "That is an excellent idea. That's what we'll do then."

Just at that moment a knock came and then the doctor from before entered before either could say anything.

"We're going to be doing the first test in two minutes. A nurse will take you," she said, quickly closing the door afterwards.

Merlin stood up, leaning over and giving Harry a slow deep kiss before finally stepping away to leave. "I'll come by afterwards if I can."

"I'll see you then," replied Harry. His voice was level, posture perfect, yet Merlin could see the gratitude and thankfulness in his eyes. Wishing he could stay there throughout the entire process, Merlin left, counting the seconds in between then and the next time he'd be able to see Harry.


	9. Night Terrors

Merlin was unable to visit Harry the same day so he tried first thing in the morning. The slightly darker circles under Harry's eyes answered the unspoken question on his lips as he came over.

"You need to sleep."

"I can go at least three days without sleep and still function properly," Harry argued.

"I know. But that's when you're at your physical and mental best," sighed Merlin. "You need to sleep."

"I _can't_."

"I'll stay with you then."

For a moment, Harry looked hopeful but he quickly shook his head. "There's no need to inconvenience you. Besides, there's not enough room and—"

"Doing anything for you has never been an inconvenience. And even if we didn't practically sleep on top of each other you run this place. You can get another bed or a bigger one or whatever brought in," replied Merlin. He knew that Harry was trying to come up with excuses but he couldn't stay awake forever and if Merlin being there was the only way to make that happen then he'd do it.

"Are you sure it wouldn't be a problem?"

"Yes Harry, it'll be fine." Glancing at his watch, he quickly added, "I'm sorry to say this but I have to leave now. I only came by to check on you but if I don't come around again then I'll see you tonight."

"Sounds fine."

Merlin tried not to rush through everything but he desperately wanted to see Harry again. Hacking through networks and computer systems helped to calm his nerves but most of the systems were moderate in defenses and took almost no time at all. He almost got to see Harry around noon but the malfunctioning of a chip he'd programmed occurred and had to be taken care of (he quickly figured out that it was the hardware and not the software and resisted the urge to hit the engineer that called him down for nothing).

It was reaching close to ten o'clock when he finally made his way down to Harry's room where he found him reading Jonathan Livingston Seagull.

"I swear you've read that book a hundred and one times," Merlin commented.

"I read it as a young adult," reflected Harry as he paused in his reading to just glance at the cover of the book. Looking back up he asked, "Do you ever just sit and smell books? Like how some are dusty and make you want to sneeze while other are almost moist and wet. Or the newer books that smell like glue or paper."

"Paper doesn't have a smell."

"It does if your nose works properly. Which yours should seeing how big it is."

"Very amusing," grumbled Merlin.

"Thank you. I thought so to." Harry looked him up and down and added, "Don't tell me you're just going to sleep in that. You should just go home."

"I'll sleep in my boxers and besides I have a spare outfit in my office. I don't mind," replied Merlin as he finally sat down beside Harry. As he unlaced his shoes and carefully placed them side by side, he asked, "How about you read me the part you're at."

Harry cocked his head to the side as he found the part he was at but then shook his head. "No, there are much better parts in this. Let's see, ah, here's one I think we can both relate to_: __"Why, Jon, why?" his mother asked. "Why is it so hard to be like the rest of the flock, Jon? Why can't you leave low flying to the pelicans, the albatross? Why don't you eat? Son, you're bone and feathers!" "I don't mind being bone and feathers mom. I just want to know what I can do in the air and what I can't, that's all. I just want to know."_"

Merlin snorted. "I remember how my roommate at Edinburg always had to remind me to eat. I'd get so worked up in my studies. He was one of the only teenagers I know of that thought computers were the most useless thing in the world and wouldn't make it anywhere." Merlin laughed, thoughts of uni having been forever ago. Looking over at Harry he asked, "What was that story you always told me? The one about the kid with the really stupid comebacks?"

Harry gave a small huff as he replied, "He thought he was the most interesting person in the room when he was only a bully with the literacy equivalence of a seventh grader. I would have felt sorry for the boy if he hadn't been so annoying."

Smiling, Merlin pulled off the rest of his cloths and moved in close. They automatically got into their usual sleeping position, Merlin's back pressed against Harry's chest and Harry's arms wrapped around him.

"You should sleep in your boxers more often," Harry said softly into Merlin's ear.

"Harry, I'm here so that you can hopefully fall asleep," Merlin reminded him.

"Hmm." Harry simply pushed his body closer, wrapping himself around the other.

Merlin stayed awake and took naps in short bursts to check on Harry. At first he could tell Harry was still awake from the way he occasionally shifted or wood nuzzle his face against Merlin's neck but eventually his breathing became softer and more regulated. However, Merlin continued to sleep for small moments just in case and he quickly became glad he did at around half past one.

Growing more restless in his sleep he began to softly pant and sweat as Merlin turned himself around.

"Harry, it's just a bad dream. Harry." Merlin didn't want to cause him to jump awake and figured it would be safer if he coaxed him out of sleep but it didn't seem to work. Harry stayed asleep no matter what Merlin said to him or how hard he shook him and only grew more agitated.

"Harry you need to wake up you're—"

"Aah!"

The sudden jump and cry startled Merlin too but he held tight to Harry simply repeating over and over, "You're okay," until the tremors stilled and Harry was no longer struggling.

For a moment, Harry hesitated but suddenly he was suddenly burying his face in the crook of Merlin's neck and letting out scream after scream until finally it seemed like he'd go hoarse. Though the noise was well muffled by Merlin himself, Merlin could easily feel the vibrations across his body as he repeated again and again that Harry was okay, even if it now became obvious he wasn't.

When he finally stopped, Merlin, softly ran his fingers through the other's hair, in calming, soothing motions. He wasn't sure what to say but soon found that he didn't need to. Exhausted from his sudden awakening, Harry had fallen back asleep.

Continuing his watch over Harry, Merlin noted how he didn't awake again until the morning though he did occasionally tremble in his sleep. When Harry fully awake, he first murmured into Merlin's ear, "I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about," Merlin responded. He waited until Harry seemed content with finally getting up for the day and then went ahead and slowly got dress. "Did me being here help?"

"You don't have to come again if you don't want to."

"I won't if it doesn't help but if it does than there's no argument to be had. Does it help?"

There was hesitation, a silence that lasted so long Merlin finally had to turn around just to make sure Harry was still awake. But he was and eventually gave a small nod. "Yes," he said softly, "though I'd rather never sleep again."

"Sadly humans have to in order to function properly."

"That they do." More silence as Merlin got dressed until finally, "The test results are supposed to be done today. I'll tell you how it goes."

Of course Merlin wanted to hear about the test results but he also knew how private Harry was and from his tone of voice that he'd rather not. Merlin replied, "Just tell me whenever you're ready. Besides, I'm sure this isn't the last round of tests that you'll be put through."

Harry softly agreed. Standing up, he walked around and kissed Merlin. "Thank you for putting up with me."

Kissing him back and hugging him close, Merlin whispered, "I don't put up with you. That would imply there were moments I wished you weren't around."

* * *

**AN: This chapter wasn't so much filler as simply just giving more info on how Harry was effected. I'll try to pick it up and reveal more of Harry's psych in the next chapter. Thank you to everyone as always!**


	10. Resolutions

Merlin had to remember that it was Harry's head and not his body that was working against him now. On days when he had missions and work to finish late into the night, he often found Harry training, pushing himself to stay awake even on the most exhausting days.

The night terrors, much worse than any nightmare Harry had, occurred almost nightly but from his reactions they at least appeared to never get worse. They never got any better though. Besides that, Merlin kept out of everything else that was happening in his head. Of course he wanted to know but he wasn't going to push where he wasn't welcomed. Being as secretive as he was, he knew Harry was already extremely uncomfortable being poked and prodded and certainly didn't need that from someone he was close to.

However, two weeks later, Harry was discharged and for the first time he explained to Merlin what he knew. They were walking the streets of London, Harry not having declared a destination but simply wanting to move about. It was some time before he finally began.

"The effects of Valentine's device did leave some damage. They believe it probably occurred because I was subjected to it twice among other factors but the point is it's minimal. Though it's possible I could be quicker to anger or more subject to start violence, it's doubtful to ever become a real problem."

"Then what happened during the mission?" asked Merlin.

"From what the doctors said, the amount of brutality needed for the role helped to trigger a small amount of anger and violence which, due to our circumstances, spiraled out of my control. However, due to still being unable to completely accept what I did at the church, staying in the skin I had created formed a small shield of protection for my mind."

"And the night terrors?"

"Another form of my subconscious mind being forced to see what I've done and showing that I'm not truly alright with it. The medication he provided helps some but I can't take it all the time. Not if I want to do my job properly," Harry finished.

"Anything else?"

"Only that it may be unwise for me to go undercover for a while, at least with anything that would involve a similar cover." Harry stopped, thought it over, and then finally added, "The doctors believe that other than that I'm fine but there are nights when I feel like I'm splitting at the seams."

"We should go on vacation."

"Hmm."

"To get your mind off everything," Merlin clarified. "I know what you'll say but honestly some time away from work will do you good. I can't have you falling apart on me and neither can the other Kingsman or Eggsy. You should be able to wake up at least once without haveing to think about saving the world."

"I can't just walk away."

"Well you're not. This isn't admitting defeat or breaking some sacred vow. Just for a little while rest and ignore everything going on." Merlin quietly slipped his hand into Harry's, bumping shoulders and hips together. "I love you more than you can possibly imagine and if I have to drag you away kicking and screaming I will. Just please agree to some time off."

Glancing over, Merlin saw Harry give a nod and say, "I put you through so much shit and yet you still stay. You deal with me waking up screaming in the middle of the night and yet you stay. I still don't understand why."

His words began opening up a door that Merlin had never asked about. Occasionally it had come up during the beginning of their relationship but now it appeared again as Harry clearly became uncertain. Of course part of Merlin wanted to know exactly what had occurred before he'd met Harry, but mostly he just wanted Harry to be happy which genially meant keeping that door closed.

"Well I can't make you understand," Merlin responded, "Only repeat how much I love you."

Out of the corner of his eyes, Merlin saw a man approach. He viewed more than heard the words on his lips which even on a good day would majorly piss off Merlin. It only took him several seconds before he gripped Harry's hand tightly and used the other to activate his ring. One swift motion and the man was on the ground and, despite the shocked faces, no one came to his rescue as Merlin and Harry continued at their original pace.

The heaviness lifted slightly and Harry actually looked slightly amused as he raised his eyebrows in response but didn't say anything.

Merlin narrowed his eyes. "Don't think I won't do that to you if needed. We're going on vacation. End of story."

"Can I at least pick where?" asked Harry.

"No, actually. It's going to be a surprise," responded Merlin. "Though there is someone who will be joining us. Care to follow me to my flat?"

Looking curiously over at Merlin, Harry gave a small nod and changed directions with him. "I would ask what's going on but I know I'd never get an answer out of you."

"You'd be right," Merlin responded, keeping quit for the rest of the walk.

They arrived at his flat and as Merlin opened the door, Harry was startled by an excited bark.

"I know I mentioned going out together but I figured a surprise would be nice after being discharged and we did agree that you could name her if I picked out the breed," said Merlin. He closed the door and went into the next room where a dog barked excitedly from its kennel.

The towels that had been placed at the bottom were bunched up into a corner making a nest that the puppy was curled up in except for one towel that was thrown over her head. However, as Merlin approached, she jumped forward and waited patiently for him to open the door.

The left ear was folded while the right pointed straight up. The pelt was a mixture of black and brown, and her dark eyes stared at them excitedly. Nevertheless, the first thing to catch Harry's attention was her front right leg. Or more accurately the lack of one.

Harry knelt beside Merlin as she hurried forward, carefully balancing on her three legs. She nuzzled against Merlin's arm for a moment before hurrying forward to inspect Harry.

Harry stretched his hand out as he said, "Hello darling." To Merlin he asked, "What happened to her limb?"

"An accident with a car. She gets around really well without it but I've been working on making her a new one. She's a terrier German shepherd mix. Seemed like a perfect compromise to me." As Merlin watched the puppy and Harry get acquainted he asked, "So what ridiculous name will come up with this time?"

Harry gave Merlin a grueling look but then turned back to scratching the puppy behind the ear. Caught in thought for a moment, he finally responded, "Lady Zartbitter-Schokolade."

"Now you're just being cruel," whined Merlin.

"A fitting name."

"You called her dark chocolate."

"She seems pleased enough with it."

Merlin wanted to roll his eyes but couldn't as he watched the puppy, now Lady Zartbitter-Schokolade, jump up and down in excitement and the pleased looked appear on Harry's face. It was possibly the happiest Merlin had seen him in a while which brought a pleasure that simply couldn't be described in words.

"We're leaving in five days," Merlin said as he continued to watch. "And just to warn you, I've already told all other agents to not call unless absolutely necessary so don't try to convince them otherwise. They're all extremely impressed with the way you've handled everything and they all agree you need a break."

"At least tell me the expected climate so I can pack accordingly."

"No can do. I'll pack for you when the day comes."

Harry probably would have argued but suddenly Schokolade was pushing him off his feet and climbing into his lap. The image was one that Merlin mentally captured, the scene just to precious to ever forget.

"I also made reservations for dinner. We'll need to leave in about thirty minutes."

Harry gave a small nod, still focusing mostly on the puppy which she seemed to appreciate quite a bit.

"Or I can always cancel and we can eat something simply here," Merlin added.

"You made reservations I wouldn't want you to—"

"It's fine Harry. There will be plenty of times to eat out. Besides, you look too comfortable to get dressed and go out."

Giving a small, thankful smile, Harry nodded and went back to playing with the puppy.

In the end, they casually ate in Merlin's sitting room, shoes off, sleeves rolled up, and jackets slung over the arms of the couch. They ended up on one side of the couch, curled up and squished together with Lady Zartbitter-Schokolade on top of their feet. Soon, both passed out and though Harry woke once, only simple nightmares filled his mind and he quickly went back to sleep, curling deeper into Merlin.

* * *

**AN: I have minimal knowledge about the brain and its workings so all that was written about Harry's was done so from my previous knowledge, what I could find on the internet, and and a large amount of speculation. Hopefully it's still believable and that you enjoyed this chapter. If anyone has suggestions on where they should go on vacation I will gladly considerate [I honestly have figured out a destination yet :) ]**


	11. An Unpolluted Night Sky Part 1

"Have you ever been on a vacation?" Eggsy asked Merlin as he helped him ready the plane for departure.

"No."

"Not even before Kingsman?"

"Well, there was one time but seeing as I was forced into it by my family and it was less enjoyable and more tortuous I'd rather just keep saying no."

"God, I can't imagine either of you just doing nothing for a week," muttered Eggsy.

"You make it sound like we're going to be _immobile_ for a week."

"I'm just saying; vacations are for relaxing and both of you definitely deserve it but I can't see you two relaxing."

"If we have a sudden urge to get into trouble I'll find a fight club."

"Wait, you've seen Fight Club?"

"No, I just know what one is."

Eggsy shook his head. "Dude, you can't reference a movie you haven't seen."

"I wasn't referencing-oh never mind." Merlin turned away from Eggsy and only realized he was being messed with when the other burst into laughter.

"Anyway, where are you going? Harry said you hadn't told him yet."

"Somewhere utterly secluded. And warm. Harry's always liked warmer climates."

"I can see that. I see you liking colder, wetter places though."

"Why, because I'm Scottish?" asked Merlin with a sarcastic tone.

"_No_," Eggsy replied in a slightly offended voice. "You just look like the kind of person that sits in front of a fireplace doing crap while it pores outside. So, not even telling me where you guys are going?"

"Of course not. You'd tell Harry," Merlin responded with a smile. "Now, what do you have planned while we're away?"

"I have a simple surveillance mission and after that a date with…well with Princess Tilde," Eggsy finished, slightly trailing off at the end. He almost seemed embarrassed.

To be completely honest, Merlin was actually quite shocked. It had been nearly three months since the near end of the world and Merlin hadn't heard anything about this. Of course, he expected he'd be one of the last people were Eggsy to have a sudden need to confined in someone. And yet, dating a princess seemed like something Eggsy would love to brag about. But seeing as he hadn't meant two things; Eggsy really had grown into a good man and he considered the relationship important. Both extremely interesting facts in their own right.

"Have you been seeing her since Valentine?"

"Uh…yeah, kind of."

Merlin nodded his head, processing the information and also rather impressed. "Well I'm happy for you then. Good luck on your mission as well."

"Ah, it'll be quick and easy, in and out," Eggsy said with a grin. "Well, everything looks ready here. Anything else you need me for?"

"Get Harry, I suppose that's the only thing. Remember, Gawain and Percival are in charge and—"

"To only contact you if absolutely necessary," said Eggsy. "Don't worry. It'll have to be another world catastrophe for me to do so."

"If that's the case I may just ignore your call."

Eggsy snorted but was grinning largely. "I'll go grab Harry. See you in a few."

Merlin finished getting everything ready and double checked that all the luggage and needed resources were in place. The first noise he heard was excited barking as Schokolade ran into the cockpit.

"Hey girl. Ready to go?"

She barked in response as Harry followed her in.

"No Eggsy?" asked Merlin.

"Already said his good byes. So, we're going someplace warm?"

"That's why I didn't say anything! It's amazing because for a spy he can't keep his mouth shut sometimes."

Harry grinned. Looking round the plane he commented, "Everything looks in order. I almost feel guilty taking this though."

"Simply one of the perks of being a Kingsman. We can actually use our toys instead of locking them up for only special purposes."

It took almost no time before they took off and once in the air, Merlin set her on autopilot. Moving to the back, he saw that Schokolade seemed to love being in the air as she sat on Harry's lap and stared out into the sky. Now above the clouds, she barked at the forms that passed beneath them.

Harry absently scratched her ear until he turned to Merlin. "So we're up in the air and there's nowhere for me to go. Will you tell me our destination now?"

"Not a chance. We have parachutes."

Other than that, the flight was relatively uneventful, taking around nine hours. When they finally landed, Harry looked around with mild curiosity but didn't say anything, clearly trying to place the area.

They landed on a common airstrip that the Kingsman had used and took a car into the nearest sea town with all of their belongings. There they arrived at a dock where Merlin briefly spoke with a man and then quickly carried everything onto a small boat.

Just like the plane, Schokolade seemed to get a kick out of the new form of transportation. She ran back and forth, throwing her head into the spray and jumping up onto Harry's and Merlin's laps when at all possible.

They left any view of the coast and were out in open sea for about thirty minutes before finally a small island appeared in the distance. As their boat approached, Harry could make out a dock and a small house not far from the sandy beaches. There were some trees and vegetation but it was likely he could walk around the entire mass of land within half a day if not shorter. Still, he didn't say anything until after they had docked and climbed out of the boat.

"Is this where I think it is?"

"Probably," Merlin said, looking slightly sheepish. "I should have double checked that this was okay but I really wanted it to be a surprise. I hope you're not disappointed."

"The first mission we ever performed together we had to stay at this hideout for three days," Harry commented as he looked around. "We came here only once and yet the memory is as clear as the ringing of a bell. All that we did here, all that I can recall, and you decided it for my mystery location for this vacation." Harry leaned forward and gave a kiss that he lingered on, allowing his lips to brush against Merlin's as he whispered, "It's incredibly romantic and secluded. Why would I be disappointed?"

"I hoped you'd say that." Merlin would have pushed forward into a deeper kiss but Schokolade's quick barks quickly reminded them that they still needed to grab everything off the boat. "Let's get unpacked. Then we can have some fun."

Taking there belongings into the small abode, Harry noted how it hadn't really changed since their last visit. Perhaps a small upgrade in the technology department from whomever the last agents to visit were but other than that it was the same. Honestly, it was perfect and Harry couldn't have hoped for more.

The moment Merlin had finished, he turned around only to have Harry lip locked with him and pulling him towards the bedroom. It was the lightest, freest moment they had felt in a long time. For a while, both allowed themselves to forget about everything, about the missions and agents, the horrid events and sleepless nights. They were liberated from all burdens and finally ended with Harry wrapped around Merlin, lazily tracing the outline of his collar bone.

**AN: ****This arc is going more towards fluff though I'll throw a bit of angst in but the next little arc I do will definately have more action and pain in it. I may even bring Lotta since people really seemed to like her though not sure how I'll do it. Hope you enjoy the break in angst!**

* * *

"So what have we planned for this week of peace?" asked Harry as he slowly trailed kisses along Merlin's neck.

"Hmm, whatever you like. We can go swimming, scuba diving, snorkeling, take walks, simply relax, read, lay out on the beach. I don't know," murmured Merlin. For a moment, only the sound of the water outside could be heard and then, "We could build a sandcastle."

Merlin felt more than heard the chuckle that escaped Harry.

"We _could_."

"I think Lady Zartbitter-Schokolade would immensely enjoy knocking it down afterwards."

"Is that a yes?"

"Well it's certainly not a no."

Silence again. They laid together for what was only minutes but what felt like hours. Merlin finally said, "It's dark outside. Remember the stars here?"

Harry gave a small nod and then was quickly untangling himself and slipping on his trousers. Merlin followed suit. They walked out onto the porch where the dog seemed to almost be waiting. She wagged her tail, excited to see them, but then turned back to inspecting the sand as Harry and Merlin got comfortable with their eyes on the night sky.

"Completely unpolluted," Harry said softly.

"And utterly gorgeous," added Merlin. "There's an arm of the Milky Way there. And I think that's the Big Dipper."

"Almost impossible to tell thanks to all the visible stars," responded Harry in a pleased tone.

They continued to watch the night sky until finally weariness from travel and their excursion caused the need for bed to become necessary. Lady Zartbitter-Schokolade quickly joined them at the foot of the bed, content with the first day of the vacation as much as Harry and Merlin were.


	12. An Unpolluted Night Sky Part 2

Two days had passed since their arrival on the island but now Harry couldn't find Merlin. The island was small and yet Harry seemed to keep getting turned around making the trek appear to go on forever.

And then he was at the ocean, finally out of the trees and foliage. He began to walk around the beach, round and round trying to find the abode but nothing appeared except more sand and water. Where was Merlin? He needed to find Merlin.

He kept moving, never staying still. Always looking up and down and left to right. Harry needed to—

He woke with a start, sitting straight up in bed and breathing heavily but otherwise fine. Automatically reaching to his right, a hand met his. It squeezed tightly, a feeling that meant it was there, that meant it was real.

Harry finally looked over and couldn't help the small sigh of relief that left him.

"I'm sorry I woke you."

"No need," Merlin murmured back. "It's morning now."

Harry eased back into the bed, rolling his neck as he calmed down. It had been a while since he'd slept through an entire night and despite the growing sense of helplessness he'd felt in the dream, he appeared somewhat better now.

"What do we have planned for today?"

"I don't know. Figured we could lie in bed a bit longer," responded Merlin. "We rarely get the chance."

"Always something going on," agreed Harry. "I feel like I should be jumping up and moving about."

Suddenly Lady Zartbitter-Schokolade jumped up onto the bed.

"Apparently she thinks so to," Merlin said. "You stay. I'll go feed her."

"No, I need to move. I'll start breakfast." Harry got up and silently fought with himself on rather to actually get dressed or stay in what he was wearing and then finally decided to screw it. For once he didn't need to be presentable for anything, didn't have any dates he had to make. It certainly made the day already look more promising.

Merlin quickly met him back in the kitchen, wrapping his arms around Harry as he cooked.

"You know you're only making this more difficult."

Merlin only let out a somewhat pleased noise into Harry's neck.

"You know that was a hint."

Staying where he was, Merlin replied, "Really? I couldn't tell. You may need to spell it out for me."

Harry rolled his eyes but didn't do anything else except focus back on the food. Merlin moved with him when he needed to grab something but otherwise didn't let go.

"How about swimming?" Harry suddenly asked.

"Sounds fine with me."

"I suspect that whatever I suggest you'd agree with it. Now, how does swimming sound?"

"Fun. Enjoyable. Is that what you were looking to hear?"

"Better," replied Harry with a grin. "We can go a little while after breakfast."

They ate and chatted a little but mostly remained in a comfortable silence. There was always something that needed to be talked about, how each other was, a mission, another event of impending doom. Silence was much less common and therefore cherished more so.

After that, Harry and Merlin changed into swim trunks and headed into the ocean, something that their dog got a kick out of.

To be perfectly honest, it had been years since Harry had simply gone swimming for the pleasure of it. He had boarded enemy vessels, using the water as his cover, his safety net. He'd jumped from exploding planes into the ocean and had once discovered a secret hiding place in a cave that could only be accessed by scuba diving. Yet this was the first time in a long while that Harry could feel the waves against his skin, the sun above him, the salt sticking to his hair, and simply enjoy it.

At first he started off swimming back and forth. Doing laps was something he had done in his younger years as a calming form of exercise and the muscle memory quickly came back. However, Lady Zartbitter-Schokolade didn't appear to care for that.

As Harry did a dive to wet his hair, he pulled up to see the dog running up to him. She quickly turned the simple swim into playful fun that he hadn't experienced since being a child. She also knocked Merlin over much to his annoyance which caused Harry to practically collapse into laughter.

The predicable swimming turned to splashing and a contest of who could knock who over the other most effectively which, when being done between to fit men, got very rough.

Harry was practically breathless when he suggested they pause for lunch.

"God I haven't had that much fucking fun in…ever," Merlin finally finished. "I never was partial to swimming when I was younger."

"I could tell. Lady Zartbitter-Schokolade seemed to have an upper hand in that. And she only has three legs."

"I wouldn't be so rude. I was planning on fixing lunch," shot back Merlin with squinted eyes. "But shower first?"

"Hmm."

"Do you _like_ the feeling of salt stuck to your skin?"

"Perhaps."

Merlin let out a slightly disgusted noise. "Well, _I'll_ be taking a shower and you are invited to join me."

Harry glanced up with a raised eyebrow and quickly decided a shower sounded like a fine idea.

Taking longer than necessary, afterwards Harry noted how much closer he was simply able to be. Professional in the workplace as always, it was odd being able to pull Merlin near, to be next to him touching skin with skin, to hug and kiss and mess with him whenever he felt like it. Even when alone in either's flat they rarely got chances like this because even if duty didn't call, they often were to exhausted from a previous mission to do much anyways.

Harry was fairly certain it would be somewhat more difficult to go back to the completely professional role once they got back. Not that any of the others would probably mind or perhaps even notice, but after his near death experience with Valentine he'd wanted, no needed, to be closer to Merlin, as if the event had made him realize just how much he cared for the other.

Likewise, this short break had allowed him to show and express all the small touches he'd yearned to do.

He also noted how the close proximity calmed him when his mind wandered or got locked on a gruesome thought. This had been clear during his stays in the hospital bed but he noticed it worked with the smaller moments that Merlin most likely wasn't even aware of. Having a hand to grasp or a form to hold after a nightmare, or worse a night terror, helped to calm his racing pulse, helped to ground him. But during those occasional moments when he became distracted by an idea, when a memory was triggered, that same motion was just as important.

Such a development wasn't like when their relationship first started. It was even different from how they'd acted around each other right up until the mission involving Valentine. He truly relied on Merlin now and not in the plain way that an agent must rely on another agent. Harry relied in Merlin in the sense that he _needed_ him, wanted to always be there with him and for him.

Before if he'd been asked to pick an ideal event, it would either be alone by a fireplace reading a good book or an interesting fight. If asked now, Harry would immediately say doing something with Merlin. It wouldn't even matter what.

And of course there was the small matter of him saying he loved Merlin. He supposed he'd loved him before but it was hard to compare then and now. Harry wouldn't call that former love fleeting and purposeless, yet it hadn't been simple friendship and it hadn't been flew blown adoration but something in between. Of course, that had drastically changed for both of them.

And with it came that small feeling of doubt and fear. Harry wanted to believe Merlin cared for him as much as he did but the uncertainty remained like a poison that the body couldn't flush out.

Harry kept his mouth shut though, remembering that the whole point of the vacation was to relax, to not worry. Instead he concentrated on Merlin and his sarcastic remarks and the puppy that bounced around his legs, full of an energy that he sometimes didn't believe was possible.

* * *

**AN: Thanks again to all the reviews and whatnot. They're really appreciated!**


	13. Surveillance

Roxy looked at Eggsy curiously from across the café table. "So, did you reschedule that date with the princess?"

"Yeah, we went out last night instead."

"What exactly does one do with a princess?"

"Went to dinner and saw a movie."

That brought about a shocked look from Roxy. "Had dinner and saw a movie? With a princess?"

"Hey! She's surprisingly down to earth and, unsurprisingly, human to! What, just because she's royalty means she doesn't go out and watch movies?" asked Eggsy with a huff. "Besides, why do we always have to talk about me? Why not yourself?"

"Because you would be bored out of your mind," Roxy replied with a roll of her eyes. "I'm either at work, at home with my family or alone, or with Percival."

"You got a thing for Percival?"

"Yes, about as much as you have one for Harry," responded Roxy, backfiring Eggsy's attempted innuendo. As Eggsy stuck out his tongue in disgust she continued with, "I just honestly don't have time do much else. Why does that always seem to surprise you?"

"Because it's an obvious lie! I mean come on, there's got to be somebody! Trade some tea time with Percival for a night out with someone your own age. I mean come on. It's not like it would be hard for you—"

"Our target's leaving," Roxy interrupted but as she stood up Eggsy pulled her back down.

"Hey, the streets aren't busy and we can clearly see from here. It would be a bit suspicious if we just up and left and we haven't even paid," said Eggsy.

Roxy quickly took out her wallet, dropped a couple of bills onto the table and stood up again. "There, he's far enough away and that's plenty for our food. Come on."

Grabbing Eggsy by the arm, she pulled him up and hurriedly began to walk down the street with Eggsy in tow.

"Alright alright! It's not like I'm going to drop off the earth if you don't drag me around. Let off!" Eggsy grumbled as he smoothed out his suit before quickly catching up with Roxy's shorter strides. "Okay, we're following him again. Now back to what I was saying—"

"Can we please just drop it?"

"Why? This is like the easiest mission yet. All we're doing is tailing this guy, making sure he doesn't meet with anyone suspicious, and basically hoping that he doesn't end up signing a contract with the wrong people. Open and shut! Or can you just not multitask?"

"I can multitask. I would just prefer to not say anything on this matter."

Eggsy shut up but kept a rather soured look upon his face. Roxy glanced at him enough that she knew he'd keep a bitter disposition until she told him at least something so she let out a tired sigh and added, "If it makes you any happier I am seeing someone."

"Ah ha! I knew it! So who's the lucky guy?"

"I think you mean lucky girl."

"So _that's_ why you were never wooed by my good looks and charming personality."

"No, I've dated both men and women Eggsy. You're simply not my type."

"I'm hurt," Eggsy replied with a large grin. "So, at least tell me her name."

"Evelyn, though she prefers Evie."

"A last name?"

"No, you'd look her up," Roxy responded with a sly smile. Her eyes darted back to the target and she quickly said, "He's going into a library so shut it."

"But I want to know more about Evie!"

"Just grab a book and try to look like you're reading."

They got comfortable and made it look like they were studying for something as they would look from the books to their phone, rereading over different sections and pointing things out to each other. In actuality, Eggsy was still grilling Roxy for more information.

"You have to tell me something about her," Eggsy texted.

"Really? Did we sign a contract?"

"Come on. Don't tell me you're not dying to gush about this girl. I mean as embarrassed I may get I don't mind talking about Tilde to you."

"And I'm glad you do but that doesn't mean I owe you anything."

"But mates talk about this kind of stuff. And if you're afraid I'll try to stalk her to make sure she's right for you, then just don't give me any physical appearances or the rest of her name. Now, what are her hobbies?"

Roxy let out an exhausted sigh but began texting back. They talked for nearly an hour before their target was making to leave again. This time he headed towards the more downtown area, the number of people drastically increasing and causing them to move closer. When he stopped at a restaurant Roxy couldn't help but groan.

"How much food does he have to eat?"

"Well it is almost supper time."

"And he had three hefty snacks in between it and lunch," shot back Roxy. "Come on. It looks like he's going to sit outside again."

Once more, Roxy and Eggsy forced themselves to have another meal, their slowness working for them as despite their target's speed in guzzling down food, the amount he had ordered did take some time to scarf down.

The city moved around them in a quick blur, cars and bikes and people pushing and prodding to try and get to their location faster than the last. It was easy keeping an eye on their target and Eggsy and Roxy were about to move their conversation into a different direction when they suddenly heard the screech of tires from the crossroad behind them.

Jumping up, Eggsy strained his head around and above the frozen crowd.

"A crash hasn't happened," said Eggsy as horns began honking and a few people shouted. "There's a woman in the middle of the intersection."

As their target had moved with the crowd, Eggsy and Roxy did the same. Once Roxy got a better look at the woman she couldn't help but open her mouth in a small gasp. "It's—"

_Bang_.

"Ahh!"

"Scheiße!"

"Einz-einz-zwei anrufen!"

Eggsy felt an almost numbing sensation. He kept his eyes on the target but he couldn't help but feel his eyes and body going back to the scene. For a few seconds, the area had cleared as people had stepped back in shock and confusion. It was enough for both Eggsy and Roxy to see the lifeless body splayed out across the ground. Then as if someone had pressed fast-forward, people rushed forward while others turned and left the scene as quickly as possible.

He'd killed people in the line of duty, seen people die by accidents and kill others out of spite or some higher calling. Yet he'd never seen anyone just up and kill themselves and it left an odd coldness that traveled throughout his body. His senses seemed to shut off as he tried to process what he'd just seen.

Noise started to filter in first.

Though Eggsy knew nothing was wrong with his communication link to Kingsman, it was almost like the sound on the other side was slowly growing louder until it finally reached its normal volume. He'd completely forgotten Percival was monitoring their mission. There hadn't been any reason for him to make contact beforehand so his voice only added to the confusion for a slight moment.

"Keep your eyes on the target! He's leaving Galahad! Lancelot get moving!"

Roxy immediately started towards the target yet she still tried to say, "But—"

"I went over the footage I could. No way could she have faked that. The arterial spray alone confirms that it was a kill shot. Remember, you're not here for her," Percival interrupted, his voice moving quick and fast.

"Her body—" tried Eggsy.

"Will be picked up by the local police. Her killing herself here has nothing to do with the current mission," finished Percival.

"Percival, I don't feel like this right. It just doesn't make sense and—"

"Lancelot just follow my lead on this, alright? If for whatever reason we need to look into this further we'll do so," Percival replied.

"Hey Perc, should we tell Harry and Merlin about this?" put in Eggsy. "They have a right to know and—"

"Let them finish off their week. They still have three days left and if we contacted them they'd come running back. No need to stir up fuss. Your target is going into that market on your right. Make sure you keep up."

Eggsy let out a sigh but followed Roxy into the store. "This feels wrong," he muttered as he followed her.

"I completely agree with you but we're going to finish out this mission first," replied Roxy. Hesitating, she continued with, "I wish I could celebrate because Lotta's death is all I ever want since I first met her and yet I can't help but feel that something is going on that, when it comes to light, could do irreparable damage."

As they both squeezed through the crowd, Eggsy muttered, "God I wish I didn't agree with you."

* * *

**AN: A break from Harry and Merlin and my first chapter without them in it! I don't know if I'll have a chapter like this again but I felt it was necessary for the story that I'm making and this way it's not just fluff! Thanks again to everyone! You guys are awesome!**


	14. An Unpolluted Night Sky Part 3

He turned to each bloody corpse without emotion.

He stabbed the woman's eye socket without feeling.

His body was without love.

His mind was without hate.

He was a machine running on aggression and the need to kill. If his gun ran out, he found another. He used the broken wood around him. He'd grabbed the fire extinguisher, the ax, the candle stick. He used a man as a shield without thought. He turned round and round, waiting for the next opponent but eventually none came.

Then the emotions began to seep in.

Feeling flooded his body.

Love, there were people he loved in this world.

Hate, there were people he hated in this world.

He began to scan the crowd of dead as the realization of what he'd done pushed into his body as if through a filter. At first, just frozen where he stood, the sudden urge to see the faces of his victims became overwhelming. He had to know whose lives he'd destroyed.

The first body he pulled over was Eggsy.

Moving faster and faster he turned every face towards him, wiped the blood from the eyes in the hopes he would not recognize them. Current and former agents of Kingsman were there. The Lancelot he had known when he first started. The Lancelot who had become his friend over seventeen years. The Lancelot that had become the first female to ever join Kingsman.

It wasn't just Kingsman though. Victims that he had just barely saved from catastrophes. People he had met on his missions whose face and name had remained in his head. His father and mother, completely broken from his own hand.

But Merlin wasn't there. He'd never do this to him. He could never—

A wet, strangled cough interrupted his thoughts. Looking down, he saw he had stepped onto, or more accurately into, someone's stomach but somehow they were still alive. At least enough so that each attempted breath brought fresh blood to their lips.

Dropping like a sack of potatoes, he moved around to support Merlin's head, trying and needing to get him up and breathing.

"You're going to be alright. You will. You have to be," he whispered as he struggled to be soothing. Instead his body and voice only shook more.

Blood continued to bubble up between the lips until finally Merlin moved his head slightly to look him in the eyes. "You…did…this."

"No I couldn't! I tried to help! I tried to stop! I—"

"You…did…this." The sound no longer came simply from Merlin. Everybody seemed to be forcing the words through their lips.

"You…did…this." It steadily grew louder, each repeat forcing a new shard of guilt and regret and anger into his body. Over and over it came until he couldn't take it anymore.

Harry screamed himself awake.

Though the week had been filled with its different and odd nightmares, this was the first time the night terror had appeared since the beginning of the vacation. Unlike the nightmares which differed and eventually slipped away from his mind, the night terror was always the same, always hyper realistic, and always caused him to wake up screaming.

He didn't realize he was still screaming until after Merlin was holding him to his chest and trying to calm him down. With some effort he finally stopped, leaving behind ragged gulps for air as his entire body shook.

Harry wanted to say something, claim he was alright now even if it was a lie, but part of him was to afraid to look back. To afraid that he might still be inside his head and the face that met his would be broken and bloody.

Finally he pushed away instead and got out, "I need a shower."

He was thankful Merlin didn't follow as the shower gave him some time to think. The time in between the night terrors had grown, making this one feel more haunting and painful than before. When he finally got out and dressed, he met Merlin in the kitchen who had just finished a simple breakfast.

"I didn't mean to be so curt. I still wasn't sure if I was dreaming," Harry said as he bent down to scratch their dog's ear.

"You were fine. I just wish you didn't have to suffer," replied Merlin as he went in for a small kiss. As he pulled back, he asked, "We could always stay another day."

"Tempting but I can't," Harry replied. "You were right, I did need this break, but I need to work just as much now. I may all ways have the occasional night terror, a nightmare, and no amount of vacation time is going to change that. I _want_ to work."

"Good, because I've been dying to sit in front of a computer again."

Harry chuckled. "I wonder how Percival has been handling it all."

"Fine, I'm sure. But I'm better of course," Merlin responded. He was about to continue when for the first time that week the phone rang. It read a single text message that asked for comms to be turned on. It came from a Kingsman number but the sender didn't identify himself.

Giving Harry a curious look, Merlin went back to the bedroom where he'd put the comms in the side dresser. Putting them in and then passing the others onto Harry, the first words that came through were, "Okay, this is going to sound weird but let me try to finish first."

"Eggsy, what's happened?" asked Harry.

"Nothing….bad. I think. Listen, let me just tell you what happened," Eggsy hurriedly said. "I was on that surveillance mission that I mentioned. Roxy was there to and it was all normal and utterly boring when we were watching our target and this wreck happened behind us. Only it wasn't an actual wreck and this woman was standing in the intersection and people were shouting and honking horns when she just shot herself in the head and well, it was Lotta! She's dead!"

"That's…" Merlin stopped. He wanted to be thankful, wanted to be pleased, even happy, but he wasn't. Only confused and from the look on Harry's face, so was he.

"That can't be right," put in Harry, frown visible on his face.

There was a huge sigh on the other end that sounded like relief as Eggsy replied, "Oh fucking yes. I thought I was the only goddamn one."

"Do you have her body?"

"That's the other problem! Percival said that it didn't connect to our case so to leave it be until you got back and Roxy doesn't have my back either or if she does she's not voicing it because it's Perc. What—"

"Eggsy, I don't care if she's already buried. I want her body at Kingsman by the time we get back," Harry interrupted. "Have all information about her death readied along with anything you can find out about her organization. Collect all recorded conversations from her office over the past month."

"And shove Percival out of a fucking plane while you're at it. What the hell was he thinking?" cursed Merlin. "We'll be there before the days out."

Ending the connection, Merlin turned to Harry. "Percival has never been this idiotic before, right? Or is it just me?"

Harry didn't respond, stuck in thought as he processed everything. Finally he said, "I'll get an explanation out of him. We need to hurry."

As they packed and grabbed everything that was needed, Harry said, "She wouldn't kill herself. Not even backed into a corner she wouldn't."

"I agree. She's prideful but above all she's selfish. Killing herself out of pride, to not get caught, she wouldn't do that simply because of the small possibility of what she could hold onto. The only part of this event that seems like her is her being the center of attention before her death," replied Merlin. "If this really was her, for a few seconds she became the woman with the gun and held all of those strangers' in her power. But other than that…it doesn't make sense."

Nodding in agreement, Merlin and Harry finished packing and headed onto the boat. Though Schokolade enjoyed as much as the first time, she seemed to sense the more serious nature of the situation and cocked her head curiously, as if trying to fully understand what was going on.

* * *

**AN: Felt like I should finally reveal what Harry's night terrors are like. Also moving along with the story as well. Hope you enjoyed!**


	15. Broken Pieces Part 1

Harry stared down at Percival. He didn't want to be cruel but he was having a difficult time understanding what the hell the other had been trying to do.

"Even if you truly believed that she had nothing to do with the current mission, she is to connected to Kingsman to simply ignore it. I can somewhat understand your hesitation to contact myself and Merlin but to completely disregard this is one of the worst moves you could have possibly made," Harry said, looking for some sort of reaction in Percival's eyes. "Besides, the idea that Galahad and Lancelot were in the same area as her was just coincidence is one of the laziest conclusions I can think of."

Percival's shoulders stiffened but he didn't say anything. At least he didn't avoid eye contact, even if his gaze wavered somewhat.

"Perci-Andrew, we make mistakes because we are human like everyone else and within our line of work, the age expectancy of a Kingsman is to erratic to accurately predict. Some of us die months within our instantiation and others are lucky enough to live into their seventies but my point is that our mistakes can cost us our own lives and others and it is the duty of a Kingsman to lower that number of deaths as much as possible. Your mistake had no effect on your own life but could very well lead to problems that could cost hundreds."

"Understood Arthur."

The way Percival said it and the use of the code name suggested embarrassment and anger yet his posture and facial muscles hinted at an overwhelming amount of guilt pressing down.

Harry had never seen the other look guilty. Percival had lost people, had lead missions that got mucked up at one point or another, but even if he blamed himself he never looked guilty. Such an observation crafted Harry's next words.

"Take the rest of the day off. We'll contact you if needed," Harry said. Walking over he clasped Percival's shoulder and added, "Rest, collect your thoughts, and just promise me this won't happen again."

"Of course," Percival said softly.

"You're dismissed then."

Giving one small nod, Percival headed out of the room but paused for a split second before quickly adding, "I am sorry Harry."

"Don't be. Simply learn from your mistakes."

With that matter resolved, Harry followed Percival's exit but instead headed home went down to the morgue where Merlin, Eggsy, and Roxy already were with the doctor. She'd already started the examination hours before they'd arrived and once Harry entered, she immediately burst into a monologue.

"At first everything appeared to be in order yet looking through the body and examining the organs suggested better health than should be possible in a woman her age. Except for the lungs which have been transplanted to her body. Of course, we only have legal records of Lotta Carlstedt but there was no mention of any health problems with the lungs which made me suspicious."

She stopped momentarily to walk around the autopsy table with a folder in hand. Handing it over to Harry she continued. "I compared the recorded information of Lotta Carlstedt's height and weight with the body and found them to be to different to be the same person. I went farther and discovered this body does not have the same burn mark on the right leg, an injury Carlstedt suffered when she was eight. And if that's not enough, after identifying scaring along the jaw and behind the ears, I also took a DNA sample. This woman is not Lotta Carlstedt."

An odd mixture of relief and anger passed through Harry. He was happy that he had been right, that he had been reading the signs right, but that still meant Lotta was alive and they had even less information on what her next move would be.

"Do we know who she is?"

"Still in progress. We're mainly looking for any known associates but it's likely the poor thing was just someone grabbed off the streets. Besides dental records and DNA, we have nothing else. Not a face. Not a nationality. It's likely we'll never find out who she was."

"What about her empire?" asked Harry.

Now Merlin stepped forward, pulling up his tablet as he replied, "Over the past few weeks we've taken down several operations and deals, destroyed three bases of operations but looking back over all known locations a…let's say a problem has occurred."

"They're disappearing," Eggsy interrupted hurriedly. "Faster than we can keep track of. It's like she's going underground."

Giving a small nod, Harry turned to Roxy who had remained silent thus far. "Any incites Lancelot?"

Letting out a small sigh she said, "I think it's fairly obvious she somehow discovered we'd been spying on her. Either that or there's someone else she's running from. Less obvious is I believe it's connected with the sudden growth of the Simba Tano organization."

"That's the one that Margret Cartwright joined when she betrayed MI-6, correct?" asked Harry.

Merlin typed a few things into the tablet and quickly nodded. "Correct. Lotta could be using Simba Tano as a cover for whatever transition she's going through. Or perhaps she's become a silent partner."

"It's certainly possible but we won't know more until we confirm that they're connected. I want Gawain down there as soon as possible."

"Do you think that's wise?" asked Merlin. "You do remember he was…romantically involved with Carthwright correct?"

"Yes, which is exactly why I'm sending him," Harry replied. "If he has to, he is excellent at disguises and staying hidden but hopefully he can come to some sort of agreement with her in exchange for information on Lotta. Appeal to her better nature."

"Harry, she nearly killed two of her own fellow agents," said Merlin.

"She also was the one to single handedly save London when she not only infiltrated a group of terrorists but also successfully gained information about an unknown bomb and succeeded in defusing it all within twenty-four hours while saving thousands of lives. Whatever her reasons for changing sides, sending Gawain and not simply a random agent seems to be in our best interest."

"And are you sure Gawain will be up to it?"

"He'll have to be," Harry said simply. Turning to Eggsy he said, "I want you in Russia tomorrow. Lotta's base there was one of her largest and hopefully there's something left. Get ready and leave tonight. Yvain will fly you in."

Nodding, Eggsy quickly left and Harry moved towards Roxy. "Good work on the Simba Tano. I need you to investigate Lotta's connections in America, see if anyone knows anything about her disappearance and faked death, but for now check on Percival. He'll accompany you over there but I want to make sure he's in top condition when he does."

Roxy nodded but paused before she left. "Before I go I need to apologize. I should have sided with Eggsy. He was right but I let my personal feelings get in the way. It won't happen again."

"Duly noted."

Going to leave, she stopped once more to turn and ask, "Did Andrew give you a reason? Behind his actions?"

"Of sorts," Harry responded, wishing he could say more. "He'll appreciate you seeing him though. Inform him of the mission and report back to me if he's not capable just yet."

"Is he sick?"

"No, simply a wounded pride and guilt over his mistake is all," Harry said. Once Roxy left Harry steered the conversation back to the double. "Doctor, if you're not already finished with the autopsy, do so and then try to find out who this girl is. If nothing comes up within a week, have her cremated."

"Understood," she said.

As Harry left, Merlin quickly followed him. With a disgruntled sigh, Merlin kept in stride with Harry and bumped slightly against Harry's shoulder, keeping close in proximity. "Call me insane but I'm thankful she's alive."

"I think I know what you mean," Harry murmured. "So we didn't misread her."

"No, so when we discover the game she's crafted we should be able to predict the next move before she makes it," said Merlin. "Still, as of right now it's almost like we have the puzzle pieces but no picture for reference."

"Hmm, somewhat, but I feel like your analogy doesn't do this situation justice," Harry murmured. "It's more like a shattered vase that no one has seen before. Not only do we not have a mental image of what it's supposed to look like but some of the pieces are also to small to see until they've gotten stuck in your foot while others we may never see again. Then there's always the possibility of what pieces we gain shattering despite our best efforts. Whatever game she's playing, I do not believe we'll ever discover all the players or learn all the rules even once it's over."

"Alright, your comparison was much more elegant but you knew what I meant," grumbled Merlin which got out a small smile from Harry. "The point is this task is going to be grueling and difficult and could take months to get anywhere. With that said, I'm going to backtrack through all Lotta Carlstedt's conversations in her office and see if I can find anything. Gawain said the transmissions stopped coming after her death."

"Sounds like a plan. I'm headed out back to her base in Switzerland."

Merlin's eyes slightly widened. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"We're spread thin as it is and we need someone to go over the place. Besides, having someone go who's been before will be more beneficial and you're needed here," Harry responded.

"Just promise me you'll stay in contact the entire time. If anything becomes to much, if there are still people there, I'll be there in seconds."

"No need to be worried Merlin. It'll be quick, in and out."

"Harry, last time you said that you were captured, Yemen nearly got blown sky high, and you had to kill a dirty Russian representative which resulted in months of paperwork."

"In and out. I _promise_."

Merlin sighed but could only role his eyes in response. "We'll see about that."

* * *

**AN: ****And another chapter! I have a fairly good idea where the hell this is going but who knows. I may end up steering it into another totally different direction. Thanks again for kudos and comments! They bring a smile to my face everyday!**

**And for those interested, I made a playlist for this fic on 8tracks: /aquiaqui/kingsman-version-2-0**

**Thanks again! ^-^**


	16. Broken Pieces Part 2

Roxy politely knocked at the door. Seconds later, it came open to reveal Percival. His immediate look was cautious but it quickly broke into a pleased smile.

"Roxy, what a pleasant surprise. Come in," he quickly said as he stepped aside. Once he closed the door he asked, "Now, I don't care if you did but did Harry send you?"

"Yes and no. We have a mission that I'm supposed to brief you on and Harry suggested I check in on you but I truly mean the word suggested. I came to see how you were of my own accord." Letting out a small sigh, she watched the smile slip from Percival's face. "I'm worried Andrew. I automatically trusted you because you chose me, because you were and still are in a way my mentor, but you failed that trust. And honestly that's not even the problem. It's the fact you can't come up with a half-assed reason for it."

Roxy waited for an answer but watched as Percival instead moved into his sitting room and walked over to a cabinet. "Whiskey?"

"Why not."

Pouring both glasses, Percival handed one to Roxy and sipped his before continuing. "I remember what I said to you and Eggsy during that mission. If you asked me to state anything about it I could. But I can't remember why I said what I said to you. I can't give you any explanation without making it up right on the spot. And now Arthur….Harry doesn't trust me. I can tell."

"What do you mean? What did he say to you?" asked Roxy.

"Simply that if a mistake is made, it usually results in the Kingsman's death along with others. It's a Kingsman's duty to lessen that amount as much as he can before he goes. As he put it, my mistake didn't cost me my own life but it could cost hundreds more."

"Andrew, that doesn't mean he doesn't trust you. Listen, you know about the first Yvain, right?" asked Roxy.

"Of course."

"Well he discovered a plot to destroy an organization but later got drunk, forgot about it, and one hundred and thirty-eight people died because of it. For your situation, for all we know only one person could die or over one hundred thousand could."

"Roxy, I believe you need to take a course in what it means to comfort someone," Percival said into his glass.

Roxy gave him a grueling look as she responded, "I'm not _finished_ yet. Now, despite whatever casualties may occur, the greatest difference between that Yvain and yourself is despite not knowing your reasons, you admit to your mistake and want-no can fix it. Besides, Harry is also giving you an opportunity with this mission in America. Why would he do that if he didn't trust you?"

Percival was silent for a moment as he twisted back and forth while keeping his feet locked in place, a sign that he was thinking. "As always, you have a point. I suppose it's just an irrational feeling that will hopefully pass."

"Well I'm pleased we have that cleared up," Roxy replied. "Wallowing in your own problems doesn't suit you."

"I restate my previous point. You need classes in what it means to comfort somebody," said Percival even if this time he smiled in response. "What is this mission anyways?"

"We're going to work our way across America and meet with Lotta's known associates. If we don't find out anything that could be of value, we move to the next target until we cut our way through Canada and into Alaska. There we'll be going into Russia and then meeting up with Eggsy in China. Right now he's meant to investigate her organization in Russia. If he doesn't find anything, then he's moving on to China, like I said."

"And we're leaving now?"

"Tomorrow morning."

"I feel that it would be in everyone's best interest if we left tonight," countered Percival.

"Maybe so but I agree with Harry on this. Rest for a moment, make sure you're positive you want to go on this mission, and we'll leave tomorrow," Roxy responded. "Now finish your whiskey and get to bed."

"Last time I checked I already had a mother."

"I may be nearly half your age but I clearly have better common sense." Roxy finished off her drink and set the glass on the table. "Get some sleep Andrew. I'll see you at HQ."

As Roxy left the apartment, Merlin was saying his good byes with Harry. Eggsy had just left and now Merlin was trying to convince Harry not to leave. However, it was harder than necessary to try and I get in anything that wasn't information.

"How did Gawain respond to the information on Carthwright?" asked Harry as he walked towards the hangar bay.

"Uptight and a bit pissed off but otherwise fine. Now Harry I—"

"I know he'll keep a straight head either way. Is Yvain and Eggsy's course fine?"

"As of right now yes—"

"Any word from Lancelot or Percival?"

"No but I'll inform you when I do. Now Harry I swear to go you ask me one more question and I'm going to shove this tablet down your fucking throat," Merlin said in rushed annoyance.

Glancing over with a look of mild curiosity Harry replied, "How did Tristan's defusing of that bomb in Brazil go?"

"God damn it Harry I am trying to make you realize that you shouldn't go back to Switzerland!"

"And I'm distracting you by asking questions that I already know the answers to. Both simple but clearly effective techniques which I thought we were both aware of," responded Harry with mock innocents.

"That's not the point! Listen, you've taken great initiative after being back for only a couple of hours. You've already pushed everyone into line, made sure the missions are going smoothly, organized a few yourself, and set a clear path on Lotta Carlstedt! All this I'm fine with! All of it is fucking great as far as I'm concerned but going back to that god forsaken place will only dredge up bad memories. You had the fewest amount of restless nights in a row that I'd seen in a month and you aren't going to be helping yourself by going back there!" cried out Merlin.

"And despite all of that I need you here," stressed Harry as he halted in his walk. "Believe me when I say I would not go if I did not want to but the only options are you or myself."

"Then let me go!"

"If you go and something happens to you then our number one man on monitoring the feeds, on shifting through bits of data that make the other's heads spin, the one who can crack practically any system in existence, and the man who can reverse engineer the enemies weapons so they can be used against them would be gone." Harry paused to take a deep breath and Merlin tried to use that to his advantage but Harry hurried on with, "Finding another Merlin is not like the other Kingsman. A special knowledge of computers and networking and engineering is required and to lose Merlin is a far bigger blow than losing an Arthur."

"Please don't say that."

"It's true and you know it is," pressed Harry. "Arthur is a figure head, someone who knows how to mobilize the forces and give a good speech but other than that he's nothing special. Merlin, you are the framework of Kingsman and in this time of confusion and turmoil I need to keep the structure of Kingsman safe."

"So you don't think I can _handle_ myself?"

"That's not what—" Harry stopped himself. A grim look was over his face, one that made Merlin's stomach curl in regret.

So soft it was almost a whisper, Merlin said, "I didn't mean that."

Harry didn't respond at first, instead clearly trying to collect his thoughts when finally, "I'll talk to you when I get back," and he was hurriedly walking back towards his destination.

"Wait a minute you can't just—" Merlin was cut off as Harry spun around and pulled him forward into a kiss. Despite being a bit pissed off, Merlin was to stunned to do anything and was shocked when Harry pulled away almost as quick as he'd moved in.

"You are one of the most competent people I know but I stand by what I said earlier with a little something added. I can't lose you Merlin."

Still rather breathless and confused Merlin shot back, "So you think it's alright if I lose you?"

He expected a response back immediately but instead Harry hesitated and simply cupped his face. "I can't lose you," he repeated.

"And neither can I. Harry we are talking when you get back. No more beating around this. Alright? We're going to have an honest to god talk," Merlin murmured.

"I'm not sure I can do that."

"I'm going to need you to," responded Merlin. His shoulders then relaxed and he growled out, "Now go finish the fucking mission so I can yell at you some more." Merlin pulled him in for one last kiss. "I'll see you soon."

Harry nodded in agreement and was suddenly moving again, this time alone as Merlin turned to go back to the control room.

* * *

**AN: ****Next chapter I'll probably go deeper into Harry's insecurities which I've been hinting at and there will probably be more Percival too! Hope you like him because I adore writing him.**

**Thank you to everyone as always. It really is lovely hearing from you guys.**


	17. Broken Pieces Part 3

Merlin watched from his little seat of power as he monitored all that was occurring. He was the only Kingsman actually at the base which wasn't completely uncommon but it had been some time since its last occurrence.

Roxy and Percival had just passed the halfway point across the Atlantic Ocean and Eggsy was already at the base. The place had been blown to nothing but rubble and Eggsy was forced to scavenge through it. At that exact moment, Gawain was still in rout to his destination and Harry had just driven up to Lotta's base of operations.

As he monitored the area around the former base in Russia, Merlin kept in contact with Harry.

"It looks like it did when we first arrived," commented Merlin as he zoomed in on several areas.

"It is as far as I can tell. Unless if you count the lack of vehicles and noise," Harry responded.

Harry moved towards the doors they had entered beforehand only to find them padlocked. He easily broke through them and headed inside. It felt empty as Harry moved through the silent space, the lack of content making the walls seem to far apart and the ceilings to high.

"So far nothing," Harry muttered. "Not boxes or paper or equipment or a softly spoken word."

"Head towards her office first. Then explore the rest of the building," Merlin responded.

Doing so, Harry made it to the door which exposed a room exactly like the rest of the building, empty and lifeless.

"I wonder what happened to her husband," murmured Harry with a small sigh. He did a quick sweep but found nothing else of interest. Stepping back into the hallway, he went deeper into structure when movement caught his eyes up ahead. A door moved slightly, just barely making any sound.

"I'm going to assume you saw that," muttered Merlin.

Harry gave a small nod in response and softly approached. In one clean motion he threw open the door and a form went sprinting out. Lunging forward, Harry succeeded in grabbing the person's arm and quickly figured she didn't work for Lotta. Still, he didn't drop his guard simply because of an assumption and gave one blow to the head, stunning her.

Falling forward, Harry caught her and leaned her up against a wall. Her cloths suggested she was homeless and there was a terrified look in her eyes. Her hair was matted together, covering her bright blue eyes, and it was difficult to tell if she had freckles or if it was just dirt.

"Ich weiß gar nichts," she whispered. "Ich weiß gar nichts."

Harry easily switched to German as he asked what she was doing there. Her responses were short and shook with fear.

"I just needed somewhere to sleep. I didn't realize it was your place," she hurriedly said.

"It's fine. You're alright. I'm not going to hurt you," Harry responded in soft soothing tones. "What's your name?"

"Julia."

"My name is Harry. It's going to be alright Julia."

It became clearer that she didn't know anything as Harry finally directed for her to go and even handed her some money. She seemed shocked and only sat there for several seconds until Harry urged her to go again. She jumped up, almost like a test, and when Harry didn't do anything she ran off.

"Poor kid," muttered Merlin.

"Yeah. Nothing in the room she was in either except her jacket. I'm going to head in further."

For hours, Harry moved throughout the area but nothing came to pass and finally he began to make his way out again. He was back in the main room and would have headed on out when he stopped, frozen. Immediately on guard he carefully advanced towards the body that was splayed out next to the door. It was the girl from before.

"Bullet to the chest. A .22 caliber with a silencer was probably used. I'll try to get a direct match," Merlin said, his voice going grim as he analyzed the image.

A noise sounded to Harry's right.

"No need," muttered Harry. In several quick steps he was walking back the way he had come.

He moved through the door just as a gun sounded but he'd been expecting it and the bullet whizzed over his head. Harry would have gotten closer to stun the guy but his rapid and fairly random fire made it to dangerous to get any closer. Instead, Harry took out his gun and shot at the man's kneecaps.

Letting out a cry of pain, the pain tried to go for his gun which he'd dropped but Harry only shot through his hand.

Crying and bubbling something along the lines of "please don't kill me", Harry advanced and effectively kicked the gun away as he pointed his own at the man.

In a cool, calm fashion he asked, "Why did you kill the girl?"

"I was told to kill anyone on the premises! I need a doctor! I'm—"

"You don't need a doctor. You'll be fine if for whatever reason I see fit to let you live. Now who sent you?"

"Carlstedt! Now come on I'm bleeding out—"

"You're not bleeding out. What were you supposed to do?" interrupted Harry.

"Supposed to burn down the building but then that bitch saw me and—"

In two quick motions, Harry had gone into a kneeling position and forced the gun into the man's mouth and forced his back onto the ground. "You have ten seconds to explain to me why you should live."

Removing the gun, the man immediately burst into song. "I know nothing! I'm just a foot soldier! I was just doing what she asked of me! It's not my fault! I got a….a family yeah! This was supposed to be easy! No one was supposed to get hurt and then that bitch came in and she was going to start screaming so I had to shoot her and—"

Harry shoved the gun back into the man's mouth and replied, "Her name wasn't _that bitch_. It was Julia." The man's head dropped back to the ground after the resounding bang.

Smoothly getting back up, Harry asked, "Any facial recognition?"

"No. He probably was just a no name. But the girl—"

"What about her?"

"I found out who she was. Julia Macht, nineteen year old runaway."

"I should have walked her out," murmured Harry.

"It wasn't your fault."

"I know, truly I do, but there was utterly no reason for her to die." Harry did a quick sweep of the dead man but upon finding nothing moved back into the other room. His movements now slower and his mind not running rapid fire, Harry noticed something he hadn't before.

At the same time, Merlin and Harry cried, "Shit she's alive!"

Harry sprinted across the room and slid to a stop as he immediately began moving clothing and exposing the wound.

"She's lost to much blood there's no use—"

"I have to try."

For a moment, only silence filled the room as Harry tried to stabilize the girl as much as he could before finally picking her up and hurriedly taking her to his car. He was already driving when he heard Merlin come back in over the comms.

"Even you can keep her alive for about an hour we may be able to save her," Merlin said on the other side.

"I'll do my best. We need someone else to come down here and burn the base. Make it look like the foot soldier did his job correctly," Harry replied.

"Already on it. Percival and Roxy are checking into their first hotel. Eggsy has just finished his sweep and I'm getting an incoming transmission from Gawain. He's reached his destination but there's a signal that's blocking all communications about fifty-feet away from the target. Should he proceed?"

"Yes, I trust his judgment. Have him report to us within five hours or right after he makes contact with Margaret Cartwright. Whichever comes first," said Harry.

"Understood." Silence again and then, "Good luck Harry. Do you know where the emergency equipment in the plane is?"

"Of course."

"Good, I'll see you in an hour."

* * *

**AN: Hope everyone is still enjoying this! Thank you as always!**


	18. Broken Pieces Part 4

**AN: Sorry about the last chapter. Should be fixed now. I'll have at least one more part if not two for this little arc. Enjoy and thanks as always!**

* * *

"You got her this far Harry. There's nothing else we can do but wait," Merlin murmured. He sat next to Harry, his hand at the base of the other's neck running soothing repetitive circles over his skin. "Harry…we need to talk."

"Now?"

"If we don't you're going to put this off and burry it as deep as possible. This may seem like something that isn't even worth talking about, meaningless, but it pains me to think that you don't believe I care about you."

"I _do_."

"Then why the hell would you believe it wouldn't matter if I lost you?"

"Because I don't matter. Because _this_ doesn't matter. It won't last. It won't—"

"Is that how you feel about it? Or is that how you think I feel about it?"

Harry chose not to answer.

"Christ Harry," muttered Merlin as he turned his body towards him. "You matter to me more than anything I've ever had or done in my life. You are the only person I have ever loved and cared for so completely. Please tell me you feel that towards me."

"Of course but…I just…."

"Tell me," he whispered. It was time for the truth. It was time for Merlin to understand what had followed Harry like a shadow for his entire life. "Tell me why you believe this."

"I never…love has simply never been a concept that I thought truly possible. The…the one person that is supposed to love you unconditionally never expressed that towards me. She loved her ideal version of me but not _me_. I want to but I just find it so hard to convince myself that anyone would ever truly love me."

"Don't try to convince yourself. Let me try to convince you. I'll do whatever it takes," Merlin replied. He fell silent for a moment, simply continuing the small movements along Harry's neck before finally adding, "We both grew up in the sixties and seventies. Not exactly the most forgiving era. But times change, people change, and even if you have doubts always remember I'll love you for the rest of my life. What you said before you left, there was truth in those words but that doesn't make it any easier for me to see you run off like that."

"Our lives aren't exactly the safest," Harry replied in a soft reminder.

"I know but I'm talking about your mental health. I don't want you pushing yourself when it isn't necessary. I understand there will be times when there is no way out, just let me help shoulder the burden every once in a while."

Harry let out a small hum in agreement as Merlin continued massaging the back of his neck just as an alert came up on Merlin's tablet.

"Gawain. It's only been three hours and eighteen minutes," Merlin said. "He must have found Margaret Cartwright."

Moving away, Merlin pulled up the video feed, immediately noticing two things. One, Gawain was standing in front of a mirror. Two, it wasn't Gawain.

Harry rapidly blinked and Merlin had to congratulate him on his otherwise blank expression. "I feel like you've clicked your tab for porn instead."

"I don't have a tab for porn," growled out Merlin as he jumped up and started heading back to his control room. "Should I answer?"

"There's no way she can track the signal and we need to know if Gawain is still alive. Answer."

Walking into the control room, Merlin sat down, spun his chair forward and turned on the communications. He faced the mirrored image of a very naked woman who casually stood, tapping at her glasses. "Ms. Cartwright."

"Ah, so it is on! I was wondering if I'd got it right. Lee wasn't very specific." She spoke with a lightness to her voice that Merlin didn't know whether to be wary of or thankful for. "Now, I believe he said the one with the Scottish accent was Merlin. Am I correct?"

Instead of answering, Merlin asked, "Did you torture him?"

"Who? Lee? Or Gawain I guess is how you refer to him. No no no! To be perfectly honest I was delighted when he spoke to me about your little problem."

"So you both spoke willingly?" asked Merlin.

"You could say that." She turned her head so that way they could see the full room behind her. The scene made Merlin want to drop his head onto the desk.

"God damn it Gawain. He slept with her! Of course he slept her!"

"Her, is still right here need I remind you," Margaret replied.

Harry moved forward and spoke into the mike. "Why are you being so compliant? It can't simply be because Lee was sent."

"No, to be perfectly honest if another agent, even another organization, had been sent that would have been fine. Except perhaps MI-6, I'm still pissed at them."

"Why? You betrayed them and now, of all things, you're willingly betraying the Simba Tano?" asked Harry.

"I never betrayed them! MI-6 that is. My cover was compromised and I had to make a decision. I had stuck with the Simba Tano long enough to realize that our plan of attack wasn't working. Instead of just pummeling them with blunt force, someone had to work their way in, move on up to the top. They were to stupid to realize it and branded me a traitor instead."

"How do we know you're telling the truth?" Merlin questioned.

"I can give you all sorts of examples. Like the tips I've sent to MI-6 over the years. At first I gave them my name but they only thought I was trying to trick them into an ambush so I had to settle for anonymous clues," replied Margaret. "I tried to reach out but they never believed me."

"Why do this now though? Why risk your cover with us?"

"Because I've reached that point. I've been holding on tightly to the thread I've wound throughout the terrorist group and now all I need is enough force to tug it loose. I looked into Lotta Carlstedt before the excursion with Lee by the way. I'd never heard of her before he approached me but when I brought her up with Hanisi…boy you should have seen the look on his face. She's definitely involved somehow."

"How can we be sure you won't simply take over after we have Carlstedt instead of taking down the organization?" asked Merlin.

"Technically you don't know but I will say this. Hanisi is only a figure for the media. I basically run the place, have been for a while, and though that's meant performing some unpleasant acts, I have already lowered the death toll since before then. Though I suppose that's more proof that I'm on your side and not really an answer. But either way I have no interest in their political reasons and there really are more interesting and beneficial illegal groups to get involved with," responded Margaret. "Of course, you won't fully know until after this mission is completed but I can assure you I have no interest in Lotta Carlstedt. I'll help you in any way possible."

Merlin let out a heavy sigh and responded, "Perhaps you could put some cloths on then."

Margaret gave a hard laugh that was really more of a roar, loud and heavy like what you might here at a bar. "Alright, you have to be Merlin! He said you were snarky."

"I am not snarky!"

"Hmm, good luck proving that," Margaret replied with a smirk. "Now tomorrow I'm heading to a meeting with Hanisi over a load of weapons that he previously told me the origins of but I now believe are connected with Carlstedt. It will be difficult getting information as most of it is passed round by word of mouth and not paper or computers but I should be able to learn something within the week. I'll also be bringing Lee along. His cover will be easy enough. Hanisi and I often like to bring toys with us on our business excursions."

"I feel that Gawain would argue with being called a toy," muttered Merlin.

"That's not what he _said_ a few hours ago."

Despite the fact that she couldn't see him, Merlin made various hand motions as he tried to refrain himself from saying anything to choice. Harry's chuckle from beside him really didn't help as he shouted, "When you have a naked woman in front of you mocking you with sexual innuendos about one of your coworkers you'll have no room to laugh!"

"You do realize I can see everything you do correct? And Gawain is my coworker as well."

"Oh shut it," grumbled Merlin as Margaret let out another snort.

"So is it a deal then? Bringing Lee with me to the meeting?" she asked.

"If he's unable to stream anything to us due to a jamming signal, simply make sure he contacts us daily if not within twelve hours," Harry responded as he moved in front of Merlin. "I do not believe I need to explain what might happen if we lose track of Gawain without reasonable cause."

"Understood. I won't test your trust and hopefully everyone will come out of this happy," she responded. "I need to get going now, business arrangements in about an hour and all that."

"We look forward to seeing you again," responded Harry politely.

Giving off a cheeky grin, she replied, "I bet you do," and cut the connection.

"That's it. I hate her."

"It's a bit early to be jumping to conclusions don't you think Merlin?" asked Harry with a wiry smile.

"Not at all," grumbled Merlin just as someone else began to try and contact him. This time it was from within HQ and from one of the doctors.

"We've finished the surgery of Julia Macht, which was a success, but her condition still isn't stable. It's uncertain whether she'll make it or not at this time."

"Thank you," Merlin replied. "Keep me updated if her condition grows better or worsens." Letting out a small sigh, he turned to Harry. "Not the best of news but certainly not the worst. We may just get lucky."

Harry nodded in acknowledgement. "Perhaps," he agreed.


	19. Broken Pieces Part 5

"Of course he didn't know anything," growled out Roxy with a shake of her head.

"Perhaps the next one will be more fruitful."

"Maybe but I highly doubt it. I wish we could just send them a letter and be done with it instead of running around like this."

Percival arched an eyebrow at her. "Imagine that. Oh, I'm sorry to bother you on such short notice but we've seemed to have miss placed a criminal mastermind that we need some help locating. Have any _idea_ where she is?"

"Your sarcasm isn't helping," Roxy muttered.

"Are you sure? I'm fairly positive you just smiled."

She rolled her eyes at him but responded with a genuine grin. "I really hate you sometimes."

The remark brought a soft smile to Percival's face. "So, this next target should be fun. There are about a million and one security measures we're going to have to get through before we even see the guy. Dare I say paranoid much?"

"He looks like someone who would suffer from paranoia. At least with this one we can't say he won't be uninteresting."

Percival let out a small chuckle. They were both doing one more round on their plans before heading towards their second target and then moving on to the next state. Currently in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, they had about two hours before their meeting.

"Gawain got in contact with Margaret Cartwright," mentioned Roxy. "Seems like she's on our side and may have information on Carlstedt. Won't know until later in the week though so we're still stuck with the original plan."

"Boring, depressingly so," muttered Percival. However, his eyes suddenly perked up as he asked, "How about lunch? I do believe it's about that time here."

"Sounds like a fine idea to me. I forgot to eat this morning." Roxy stood up, smoothed out her suit, and then double checked that she had all weapons in place. She then extended her arm and asked, "May I?"

"I'd be honored," he replied with a small smile. "And to be perfectly honest I already made reservations."

"Where?"

"The Fountain Restaurant at the Four Seasons. I went there last time I was here."

"Hmm, are we dressed correctly for it?"

"Perhaps a little over dressed but it'll be fine."

They took a cab from their hotel to the restaurant and were quickly seated. Roxy chose the wine and after a quick glance over the menu and Percival's suggestions, they moved the conversation into other matters.

"Why do you think Carlstedt is doing this?" asked Roxy.

"I thought that was why we were here."

"We're here because we need to find her. No one has really broached the subject of why though."

"Well there's certainly a possibility that she somehow discovered we were watching her."

"I agree with that, and it does make sense, but why not just hit us as hard as possible? Wouldn't we have heard something about a person looking for specifically Harry's and Merlin's profiles? She had an empire! She could have easily utilized it to try and find us but there's been nothing," argued Roxy.

"She's to…to…not jealous uh….vain, no that's not right."

"Narcissistic enough to exclude all help simply because she wants all the credit for taking us down?" supplied Roxy.

"Yes, that."

Roxy gave him a rather impassive look but it masked the seed of worry that had begun to grow again. "I never knew you to have trouble finding your words. Are you sure you're alright?"

"It's simply a small headache. Nothing to be bothered over. But yes, not matter how intelligent Lotta Carlstedt is her rather negative and rotten personality often rules over any logic that resides in her head," replied Percival.

After that, the food arrived causing their talk to diminish somewhat as they did have a date to reach and it wasn't polite to talk with one's mouthful. Finishing, they paid and quickly left towards their destination, or what honestly felt like the first checkpoint.

They were patted down and forced to pull out pockets and flash jackets to prove that they weren't carrying anything dangerous. Anyone else and such a process would be over and done with yet the men's careful analysis of everything made Roxy wonder for a moment if they actually saw what their simple accessories were. That quickly came to pass however as each object was approved one by one. The next step was a metal detector.

Roxy went through first, making sure to have put anything metallic into the little box and walked through confidently. Not making a single sound, Roxy couldn't help the inner smile that formed at how easy it sometimes was. Despite the boring nature of the whole thing, it was nice when you had days like this. She didn't turn around, knowing full well how Percival's walkthrough would go when she heard it.

_Ping-ping-ping_.

The metal detector was going off. Well that wasn't supposed to happen.

Turning around, she saw that Percival had a very similar look upon his face. He seemed utterly confused and had to be jerked out of thought when one of the men dragged him to the side.

"Going to have to do a pat down."

"_Excuse_ me?"

"Bosses orders. Then it's through the metal detector again and if it goes off again you ain't getting in. Granted, if I find anything on your person you ain't getting in either."

Being forced through the pat down, Roxy squinted at him, hoping for some explanation in his eyes but they remained utterly bewildered when suddenly an odd look came to Percival's face and he cocked his head as if he were listening to something. However, there was nothing on Roxy's comms which was strange so—

Percival snapped the man's neck and then moved on to the next man before Roxy could blink twice. Nevertheless, she quickly jumped into action as she tried to get to Percival as guards swarmed towards him. However, they only fell under his hands one way or another and in the end, Roxy had to fend them off before she could take another step.

When she was finally able to make a break for Percival, he had just grabbed one of the men's guns and used it to shoot him in the face. He turned to Roxy, arm out straight, causing her to freeze in her movement.

It vaguely reminded her of the Church scene yet there was no anger or coldness in Percival's face. Simply the same perplexity that had been placed there since the beginning. Roxy remained quiet, trying to calculate what Percival might do, but he only looked on with pain in his eyes.

Then his elbow began to bend. Upwards it went and the gun came with it. An arching motion that led to the place underneath Percival's chin.

In one swift motion, Roxy changed her watch to a sleeping dart and shot her target dead on. Before the gun could go off, it fell to the ground as Percival's body went limp.

"Please tell me you're fucking there Merlin and that you caught all of that!" rushed Roxy as she slid to Percival's side and began to hoist his heavy form over her back.

"I got it. If you backtrack you should be good but you may not make it with all that weight."

"I'm not leaving him behind Merlin! He had no idea what he was doing! It was like Arthur but not. I'm getting him out of here," Roxy growled as she finally got a good stance and began to push forward. The form she was carrying Percival in was designed for people to successfully carry half their weight. That wasn't the problem but the fact that Percival was so ungodly long.

Nevertheless, she rushed forward as quickly as possible making a last minute decision to through her lighter behind her as she ran down a set of stairs into the hall they had originally walked into.

"What the hell was that for?" cried Merlin.

"It was for whoever was falling us in the hopes of stopping or slowing them down and at the very least the blast will call forward the local police meaning they'll be more preoccupied with distracting them than trying to find us," huffed Roxy.

Ignoring the people on the streets, she hurried to their car on the side of the road, ungraciously dropping Percival into the back seat before jumping up front and speeding out of there.

"Merlin, I'm going to need someone to come and get Percival."

"Just come back yourself. The Mission is over Roxy. We—"

"I think Lotta Carlstedt may have controlled him," blurted out Roxy. "He's been acting odd for a while now and the fact that this happened now of all times...I think we're getting close Merlin to whatever sick game she's playing."

"Do you have any proof?" steadily asked Merlin.

"Not really but don't tell me you don't see the connection."

"Believe me when I say I do. It certainly makes all these seemingly random pieces we've had fit together, but this could mean HQ has been compromised." Silence on that end until, "I'm having someone fly over now. I'll get back to you as soon as I can but I need to discuss this with Harry. For all we know every Kingsman could be at risk."

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**AN: ****The last part of Broken Pieces. On to the next chapter! Ending be another non Harry/Merlin chapter but I felt it was needed to lead the plot and I wanted to write more Roxy and Percival.**

**Also, sorry for the wait on this chapter. I hope everyone is still enjoying and thank you as always!**


	20. Regroup

**AN: A huge thank you as always! Comments are always welcoming sights and everyone who takes their time to try this fic, even if they don't like it, is fully appreciated. Enjoy!**

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Merlin found Harry with Julia Macht who still hadn't awakened. J.B., Lady Zartbitter-Schokolade, and Roxy's poodle (Nightingale) had joined him as well. J.B. sat happily on top of Nightingale's head while Schokolade had chosen her spot beside Harry's leg who was currently working. However, he looked up when he heard the door open.

"What's happened?"

"Percival's gone fucking berserk Harry. I got the entire scene from Roxy's feed," replied Merlin as he pulled it up on the screen across from the hospital bed. Harry stood up and walked closer, eyes narrowed and analytical as he watched the scene play out. When Percival moved to shoot himself in the head, Merlin watched a small shiver run down Harry's back but other than that he did not react.

After it was over Harry softly asked, "Did you see the fear in his eyes? The feeling of being lost?"

"In a way yes. When Roxy was having trouble getting out I suggested she might not be able to get out and carry Percival with her but she insisted, yelling that it wasn't his fault. She's opted to stay, believing that the episode was somehow caused by Lotta Carlstedt and that it occurred because we were getting close to something. That means HQ could be compromised."

A suffocating silence filtered into the room as Harry thought this over, clearly trying to come up with a solution. "We're pulling Galahad from Russia and Gawain from Africa. If Cartwright really is on our side she'll continue to feed us information." He listed off other Kingsman that needed to be brought in or had to stay where they were due to being undercover. Then it finally came down to Lancelot.

"I'm fairly certain one of us would have to travel there and drag her back," responded Merlin. "She's adamant about finding out what happened to Percival and thinks the information is in Philadelphia."

Giving a small nod, Harry responded, "We'll examine Percival upon his arrival. Roxy may stay in Philadelphia. We should move to another headquarters but there is the small possibility that Lotta has discovered those as well. We need to either find her and take her out or at the very least find out what she wants. Though I'm fairly certain it's both of us."

"How is Julia doing?" Merlin suddenly asked.

"Better. Eggsy was the one to suggest that animals in here might help. J.B. apparently has taken the front line in guarding her," said Harry with a small sad smile. Turning serious once more, he added, "Get those messages sent now."

"Already done while you were talking. Is there anything you need?"

"Replay what Roxy sent us but slightly farther back. To the point where they entered the building," Harry replied.

Merlin did so and watched as Harry viewed the entire process once more.

"Again."

It played through to the point where Roxy and Percival had left the building.

"Again."

"What exactly are you looking for?"

Harry took the tablet away from Merlin and zoomed in on the area around Percival's eyes. "A trigger."

Both stood, watching the scene run through twice more before Merlin suddenly said, "The metal detector! Everything appeared fine until immediately after he walked through the metal detector."

"Alright, then there's a chance something has been implanted inside his body and not that his personal comms were hacked sending a signal to his head and forcing him to do this," Harry said in one breath.

"Is that what you were assuming?"

"In a way do to the point where he cocks his head and appears to be listening to something but it didn't make as much sense. The signal that Valentine sent out caused people to go primal but this looked much closer to actual mind control. Percival had a mission and it was to kill all those guards and then shoot himself in the head. Though he wasn't in control it's clear from his facial expressions that he was aware the entire time."

"I'll make sure that they keep him sedated then. It's a long flight from Philadelphia to England."

Merlin squeezed Harry's shoulder before leaving and waiting out the inevitably painful time between then and when Percival would arrive. Despite their speed, in times like these plains seemed to be achingly slow.

The moment Percival arrived Harry had a full body scan done and what they found in the brain was very unusual.

"It looks almost like a spider," commented Harry as he looked at the 3D image.

"From what I can tell it was surgically implanted through this incision underneath his hairline in a compacted form and then expanded around his brain. Each…_arm_ is touching a region that controls a limb and disrupting brain signals to give out its own. It's less mind control and more control of the boy than anything. The device doesn't alter his thoughts but it can make him perform actions that he doesn't want to."

"Can you remove it?"

"Any such process would certainly kill him," Merlin responded.

"Anything else you can learn about it."

"Only that it is activated through a signal which is currently being blocked by our tech. I also double checked any searches he's made in the past two months but nothing out of the ordinary has come up."

"So in other words he hasn't given anything away and Lotta Carlstedt doesn't know where this building is," Harry responded.

"I won't go so far as to say that but it's certainly likely. If we're lucky enough anyways. I've already taken him off the sedatives. He should wake up within the hour," replied Merlin. He was looking at his tablet when he said it making the sudden envelopment of arms a surprise. "Harry?"

"I want her dead. I want her burned alive and her ashes thrown to space. I want her _gone_."

Merlin shivered at the cool breath on the back of his neck. "We're not even positive it's her yet."

"Who else could it _be_?"

Not answering, Merlin simply wrapped his arms in a backwards hug as Harry remained where he was.

"She's hurting those I care about. I can't have that."

"We'll find her Harry. We _will_." Finally pulling away from the embrace and turning around, Merlin added, "You're not getting enough sleep again."

"I'll be fine."

"Says you. Listen, I need to stop by my flat but I'll come to yours tonight, alright? You're not skipping out on another chance to sleep. Understood?"

"Loud and clear," Harry responded with a small sigh.

"I'm going to finish up here and then I'll see you at your flat at twenty-one thirty and not a moment later." Merlin went in for a small kiss. "I'll see you soon."

"I look forward to it."

Merlin finished his work, double and then triple checked all planned flight routes and made sure that all Kingsman were where they were supposed to be. Finally he left for his apartment. He hadn't been there in days and had simply been dying to finish up some of the unfinished chores. Once the dishes were done, he had gotten some information from his personal laptop that he needed for Kingsman onto a flash drive, and the laundry was folded Merlin no longer felt like such a slob. He quickly grabbed his coat and was just about to head out when someone pressed the buzzer.

He froze, trying to think who it could be at such an ungodly hour. It might have been Harry but he would have called first if he'd seen a reason to head over to Merlin's place. Before he could decide what to do though, the buzzer rang again, this time the person doing so kept their finger on it suggesting some sort of urgency.

Merlin kept a standard issue Kingsman pistol by his bed and quickly went to retrieve it before finally coming to the door. He almost thought about walking up to the peep hole but then an idea came to his head. He continued walking at the same pace but crouched so that his head was about at the middle of the door and the peep hole rested over his head. Staying in that tense position, he leaned against the door as if he was leaning against the peep hole.

Counting in his head he only got to two before the bullet rang out loud and clear.

Jumping back, Merlin let out a rapid fire through the door before swerving into the next room. Breathing heavily, he waited for the sound of more bullets but none came. Inching towards a window, he peaked from behind the curtains but did not see a person poised with their gun ready or a corpse riddled with bullet holes on the ground.

He approached his front door again, this time throwing it open in one swift motion, but still the front porch was empty. The bullet in the peep hole proved that he hadn't imagined it and he'd shot back rather quickly so where was the—

The house alarm rang as the sound of glass shattering could be heard from a different room. Merlin spun around and quickly advanced forward. It was only once he'd gotten to the backroom that he finally met his attacker though he couldn't see their face in the darkness.

He fired once, dropped low, barreled into their frame, and ultimately caused both to go crashing into the ground.

A momentary struggle occurred before Merlin fired the one shotgun round into their stomach. He should have kept firing, should have pushed forward, but their sudden limp form made Merlin believe he'd delivered a kill shot.

He was quickly proven wrong as a needle was injected into his neck and his eyes clouded before he could pull the trigger one more time.


	21. Lights Cameras Action Part 1

The first thing Merlin noted was that his glasses were off. Had they fallen in the struggle? Were they broken? It was hard to remember what had happened and his head still felt fuzzy as hell. His limbs had pins and needles throughout so Merlin tried to move but quickly found he couldn't from the bonds around his arms and legs. His back also ached which suggested he'd been there for a while.

He was sitting in a chair then. He could tell that much. Now his vision just needed some work.

He blinked rapidly and looked around the room where he was. Strips of fluorescent lights hung overhead and there was a table near him wrapped with several small bundles but he couldn't see what was in them. There was also a steel door in front of him and a camera in a corner but he quickly was focusing on the person that had just walked through the door.

God Merlin wished he was wrong. He wished that his assumption was way off but as her face became clearer the truth was undeniable. He tried to open his mouth to say something but his tongue wasn't very responsive and he ended up just spitting on to the floor from an excess of saliva.

"Oh don't worry, that'll pass. You're just still feeling the aftereffects of the drug," Lotta Carlstedt replied with a small smile. "So, how are you feeling….I'm sorry I can't remember your name right now. You just have so _many_."

Not responding, Merlin simply worked his tongue in his mouth as he tried to get that numbing sensation out.

"Was it Fergus perhaps?"

"I…despise that name," Merlin response in a slightly slurred tone. He felt like he was trying to talk with his tongue sticking out.

"Then what do you go by because I'm sure it's not the alias you used with me," Carlstedt replied, sounding rather hurt as well.

He didn't say anything.

"Now now I thought we were friends!" When he still didn't responded, she let out a frustrated sigh and muttered, "Well, apparently not any more. How disappointing. Anyways, I haven't come just to talk. That's just to boring. I have some playtime in mind."

Going over to the table, she began to role one of the bundles open. Merlin prepared himself to see the worst instruments of torture imaginable but instead only saw the equipment for a camera.

"The one in the corner not good enough?" muttered, his voice finally returning to normal.

"It works fine to insure that you're still in here," replied Carlstedt, "but I need a much higher quality one as well. Wouldn't want your partner to be unable to distinguish that beautiful face from all the blood that's going to be on you, now would we?"

His stomach curling in his disgust and horror, Merlin asked, "How are you going to send it?"

Carlstedt let out a rather annoyed sigh as she said, "I don't have a direct channel to your organization if that's what you're thinking. I honestly wish I did. But no, I'm going to have to do the simple honor of posting this to the web. I wonder if it'll become viral. Wouldn't surprise me in the least. Humans do love to view violence, especially when it's not being done to themselves."

"But why do this now?"

"Can we please stop with the questions? I'm the one who should be asking them," she replied in a singsong voice.

"What about your empire though? What about—"

"Don't talk to me about my empire!" shouted Carlstedt as she stopped what she was doing and drew closer. "You forced me to bring all of it down! I didn't know what you'd found out! I didn't know what you could foil! What might have been being cataloged! You forced me into this position!"

"We did nothing of the sort," Merlin replied coolly.

"Nothing of the sort!? You came charging in with your stories and your charm and then you turned your back on me! You betrayed me! I had to destroy all resources and information because you could have taken it! Everything I had worked for. My precious lines of trade and information, so perfect and neat and you stole them!"

"Then what about the Simba Tano?"

She looked surprised for a moment, stopping her rant. However, a smile of pleasure appeared on her face as she shook her head. "You people are good. I'm planning a takeover if you really must know. Its leader is so pathetic. He doesn't even realize that he's not in control. That double agent Margaret Cartwright is and if she has her way she'll tear him down worse than what you forced me to do. I'll be doing him a favor by taking over."

"Like I said. We didn't force you to do anything."

"Don't say that!" she screamed. "And after all I've done for you! I even warned you about your partner and this is what I get in return."

"We were undercover. It wasn't real," stressed Merlin.

"Perhaps but that doesn't change what I saw. If there is one thing I didn't get wrong it was him." Turning away, she finally went back to the camera and finished fixing it up.

"What about Philadelphia?"

"Hmm?"

"Our agent. You caused him to kill all those people and—"

"Oh that! I've been watching all my former partners and competition. When your two agents showed up and that metal detector went off, I just figured it would be a fun time to let him go homicidal and to also get rid of some evidence. Obviously didn't work but it was still fun to watch that young girl go through that pain. They were so confused. They didn't have a single idea of what was going on."

"But how did you learn all this?"

"You're not the only one who can place a convincingly hidden microphone. Now, I will admit that a lot of it was static but I did get just enough information to mess with that agent's head and to kidnap you. Don't you agree _Merlin_?"

"So you already knew."

"Yes and your partner's name is Harry. I'm assuming he has some form of a codename but I never heard it. Now, let's get on to the fun."

She clicked the camera on, checked its position and lighting, and then walked over while that terrifying smile appeared on her face again.

"Anything you'd like to say? Now, if you try to give any of the information that I shared with you I'll just cut it out so there's no point in trying that. However, I will allow you to send one last goodbye if you'd like." She waited but Merlin said nothing. "Really? I thought you'd at least—"

"Don't' fucking watch this Harry!" Merlin blurted out. "I love you so god damn much and if you watched this I'll come back and kick your ass!"

"Oh how touching," murmured Carlstedt as she sauntered over and in front of view of the camera. "It was so sincere. Honestly amazing! And you know what? He doesn't have to see this video. If you simply tell me everything you know about this mission, everything you know about Harry, the organization. I'll let you go. You'll be safe and unharmed and with _him_ if you just do this."

"_Fuck_. _You_."

"I was afraid you'd say that." In one smooth transition, she grabbed his right hand and ripped off the ring fingernail with a tool that he hadn't originally seen.

"Shit!" Merlin hissed at the unexpected pain but attempted to keep most of it masked.

"Tell me what you know."

"No!"

"Tell me!"

"_Never_!"

This time he was rewarded with a sharp slap across the face which really wasn't that bad when compared with having your fingernail ripped off.

"Either you tell me or Harry watches you die."

"Well you better just kill me then because I'm not telling you shit!"

Clearly irritated and pissed off, she stomped away and pulled out something else from the piles on the table. Hurrying back over, she lifted up his shirt and then jabbed him with whatever she held. He expected something to pierce him and therefore was more thrown off when he felt the electric shock go throughout his body.

It stopped almost immediately after it had started but that didn't mean it hadn't hurt like hell. Merlin tried to remember if he'd ever been shocked like this before and honestly couldn't think of a single time.

He was drawn out of his thoughts by the manic laughter from above him and suddenly felt the jolting pain again. And then it stopped. And then again. And then nothing. And then again.

Repeatedly she did it until Merlin couldn't tell if he was going into cardiac arrest or simply getting ready to pass out. He was more than simply thankful when he did so, his last thought praying to god and just about every other deity under the sun that Harry never saw this.

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**AN: ****Hmm. What to do next? Thanks again to everyone. Sadder chapter but hopefully you enjoyed it...even if that does sound a bit sadistic. Oh well! Thanks again! You guys are wonderful.**


	22. Lights Cameras Action Part 2

Eggsy practically vaulted himself after Harry as he shouted, "As your colleague and friend and someone who cares about your health I am telling you not to do this to yourself!" However, his words fell on deaf ears as Harry continued; his mind was only on one track. It had been nearly nine hours since Merlin's disappearance and now that he had something that might create a lead he would grasp at it until he found something.

Roxy, who had been the one to contact Eggsy first, had cleared the screen when they walked in. Standing in front of the control panel, a look of determination stayed on her face though it faltered slightly as she focused more so on Harry.

"Myself and the other agents have been analyzing it. If there's anything of use we'll find it," she stressed.

"I _need_ to see it."

Before Roxy could do anything more he was pushing past her and pulling it up. Both Roxy and Eggsy stood there, unsure on what to do. Should they leave? Should they tackle Harry to the ground? No decision was really made as the video came up and they saw what both had already watched.

Their eyes averted back to Harry, looking for any sign that things were about to head south as the audio spread through the room.

The video started off with Lotta Carlstedt allowing Merlin to say a few final words. Harry noted that Carlstedt looked worse than when he'd last seen her and not so much in a malevolent way. She simply looked exhausted and tired.

"Don't fucking watch this Harry! I love you so god damn much and if you watch this I'll come back and kick your ass!"

Past tense. Merlin was assuming that he wasn't coming back. Harry watched it all, eyes never straying from the images even when he saw the nail ripped from him. Even when he started screaming and his body shook with volts of electricity.

From his position, Eggsy couldn't see Harry's face but he saw how the pointer finger of right hand twitched. It was such a small gesture yet Eggsy assumed Harry was imagining digging it into Lotta's fucking skull. He had to say that he kind of was to at the moment. Nevertheless, he focused back onto Harry as he said, "Lotta took down her empire because she believed we knew to much to perform any save transactions. She's planning on taking over the Simba Tano."

"How could you possibly know that?" asked Eggsy.

Roxy's eyes lit up in understanding. "Morse code! That's what Merlin was doing. I suspected so but hadn't decoded it yet. Was that all he said?"

"He was trying to say something about Margaret Cartwright but was…..he was cut off," Harry finished. "Have you traced where this came from?"

"So far impossible," Roxy responded. "There are very few elements in the room that really divulge where he is either. However, it's been nine hours which means he's within a flight radius of that time and I'm sure some time took place between the actual shooting of this video and the upload of it so possibly less."

"So she's still within Europe?" asked Eggsy.

"Exactly, or more specifically the UK, France, Denmark, Germany, Switzerland, the Netherlands, Belgium, or Luxemburg. Of course, he could be moved before we find him," said Roxy, only realizing afterwards that such a thought was perhaps to much information for Harry at the moment. "But we'll find him," she quickly added.

Harry didn't say anything, perhaps he wasn't planning to, but either way before it could get awkward the doctor came in. "So sorry to interrupt but Julia Macht has awakened. Percival's body has also completely rid itself of the sedatives and he should wake soon though he has been through quite an ordeal. He's asleep for now."

Giving a nod that he had understood, Harry turned back to the screen when he suddenly paused, an idea coming to his mind. Originally he had simply wanted to bring Julia here and bring her back to health because he had felt partially at fault for her injury. He had assumed that she was simply an unlucky participant, wrong place wrong time. Of course, this was still more likely that the idea that she was somehow connected to Lotta yet it was worth a shot. Besides, the fact that she had chosen Lotta's base of operation as a safe haven suggested she had been in the area for a while and had chosen it after they'd left. At the very least perhaps she had seen something that could be of importance.

Turning to both agents Harry instructed, "I want that video taken down as quickly as possible. Roxy, try to get in contact with Cartwright and see if she knows anything about this. Though I suspect she'll be willing to work with you, simply get Gawain in here if she's difficult. Eggsy, wake up Percival, try to get any information out of him, and then go with Yvain and continue analyzing the video. I want to know everything about that room no matter how seemingly insignificant."

He then left without another word, their nods of confirmation all that he needed. It was only once he was a ways down the hallway that the simple tick in his finger turned to a shaking of his entire right hand. He tried to still it with his other, massaging it and holding it against his body, but it continued you to shake as images of Merlin's body jolting back and forth filled his head and the screams remained stuffed in his ears.

Harry arrived promptly at Julia's bedroom. Schokolade was at home and he had no idea where Nightingale was but J.B. sat in her lap, seeming extremely pleased at having all the attention on him. A happy look came upon his face as he caught sight of Harry but even the dog became aware of the darker mood and gave a soft little whimper in response.

"You seemed nicer before," the girl replied in her native language.

Comfortably moving his words to German, Harry responded, "A lot has happened between before and now."

"Are you angry at me?"

"No."

She appeared to accept that answer but didn't seem completely convinced by it. "Were you the one to bring me here?"

"Yes and I am sorry but I can't divulge where here is. I also wish I could leave you to recover but I must ask you some questions. Have you ever heard of Lotta Carlstedt before?"

Julia paused; giving honest to god thought upon the matter but finally shook her head. "No."

"The man who shot you, had you seen him before then?"

Here she gave a quick nod. "He worked around that area. I'd seen him before. He was very nice."

Harry thought back to the man's last words but didn't say anything. "Did you know what he was involved in?"

"Not really. The building, where I was at, he was usually there and it honestly seemed sketchy to me but it's not like I had any reason to report it."

"Whatever time you had there, did you see or hear anything? Even if it appeared meaningless try to remember now."

This time it took even longer for Julia to respond. However, she eventually did with a nod of her head and, "Something about Africa I think. Right before they disappeared but nothing else." She hesitated and then asked, "May I leave?"

"Not as of now. You're simply not well enough. Once healed, you will be able to leave however."

Nodding, she suddenly picked up J.B. and held him out. "Thank you for the dog's company. He's very cute but I don't want to hog him."

"His owner is very busy at the moment. I think he'd appreciate someone like yourself taking care of J.B. at the moment."

"J.B.," she repeated, the English letters coming off her tongue strangely. Julia seemed pleased though and quickly went back to petting the dog. Now that the dirt was off of her and she was in hospital cloths instead of rags, she appeared much younger than her supposed nineteen years of age.

"I'll leave you to your rest then. Don't hesitate to ask for anything," Harry responded as he got up.

Julia mouthed a small thank you as she looked down bashfully and continued her focus on the dog.

The moment Harry walked out of the room however, his entire body stiffened. The information she had given him was something but nothing new as Merlin had already mentioned it in the video. Nevertheless, it had been rather obvious she was lying. Perhaps someone not skilled in the art of espionage would have been fooled but Harry had easily spotted it.

Immediately afterwards he went to go over all of Julia Macht's information again. Of course, whatever she was keeping hidden could be meaningless but he had to double check. As he did so, he briefly wondered if that was even her real name.


	23. Lights Cameras Action Part 3

**AN: ****A little late but I wanted to make this chapter perfect in a completely messed up way. Enjoy!**

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Merlin wasn't sure how long he'd been out. Hours, days, either way he wouldn't exactly consider himself pleased at seeing none other than Lotta Carlstedt in his face. He wheezed with every breath and the skin that had been electrocuted hurt like hell. He looked towards the camera but saw from the light it wasn't on. He reorganized the information he'd been given, translating it to Morse as Lotta busied herself.

"Have you ever heard of a Harry Starks?" asked Lotta as she swayed from side to side.

Dividing his attention, Merlin croaked out, "Two. One is a clerk at a local book shop. The other is a fictional, homicidal, manically depressed, rather insane, and quite homosexual mobster from sixties London. Something tells me you're referring to the latter."

"Anybody tell you you're a smart ass?"

"Several," Merlin replied before his body was wracked with a coughing fit.

She snorted in response and finally walked over to the table of weapons, unveiling something new this time. "Do you know much about him? The fictional character of course. Not the clerk."

"I know the book he's from is called _The Long Firm_. Never read it though," grunted Merlin.

"You should. See the mini-series too. The actor looks strikingly like you," replied Lotta as she pulled out a poker and a blow torch. "Now, since you haven't read or seen it, this won't be as enjoyable but it should be fun enough." As she heated up the end, she quickly added, "Of course, this will all go away if you just tell me about your organization."

"Do I need to repeat myself," growled Merlin.

"Of course not but I would appreciate a different answer," she responded.

As the poker continued to heat up, Merlin got out, "You spoke of Margaret Cartwright last time. Said she was going to tear down the Simba Tano."

"Yes, why are you interested?"

"Because she's a supposed traitor. I don't understand why she'd want to tear them down," lied Merlin. Though he expected Lotta would tell him information he already knew, at least he'd get confirmation that Cartwright could be trusted.

"Traitor? Ha! That woman is a genius as far as I'm concerned. I wish she'd grown with something like my organization instead of those imbeciles at MI-6. If she could be reasoned with, I'd even consider sharing power with her over the Simba Tano but she has no interest in that. If she were to tear it down she would want to go back to her MI-6, her _beloved_ country, and beg for forgiveness. They would then proceed to take her back of course but not before they put her through hell." Pausing, Lotta suddenly let out a maniacal laugh. "I take that back! She's not a genius!"

"No, just someone who cares about people," growled out Merlin.

Her eyes going livid, Lotta suddenly screeched back, "I care about people! What makes you think I don't care about people!?"

"I don't know. Perhaps your blatant disregard for human rights. Your utter lack of morals and ethics. Your obvious ignorance of what love or kindness is. I don't know. _Take_. _Your_. _Pick_," Merlin replied through gritted teeth.

She lunged at him, the poker going directly for his right eye, but she stopped just before it hit and Merlin stayed perfectly still, not flinching away or cowering. "What? Did I hit the nail on the hammer to hard?" asked Merlin steadily, waiting for the inevitable pain that would come.

However, Lotta drew back and instead let out a rather tired sigh. "No no. Sorry, I forgot to put the camera on."

Walking over, she turned it on and then began to heat the poker again. Merlin got out the information he'd been unable to get to last time and then began to repeat 'trust Cartwright' over and over as he commented, "You must be making your move soon. Why else would you want to know about our organization? You're probably planning on ripping it apart once you've gained enough power again."

"Hmm, excellent insight. And quite right. Before the month is up I'll have complete control of the Simba Tano. I've already bought out key members of the organization and once you do that, foot soldiers follow along easily enough. Simply have the right price, threaten those with families, and they're sold."

She finally stopped and looked proudly at the end of the glowing poker. Moving over to Merlin she gave a small 'tut-tut' sound with her voice and shook her head. "Your cloths were fine when I electrocuted you but this will just get to complicated."

With one hand, she tore at his cloths just enough to expose his now bare chest and stomach. Merlin could finally see the lasting damage of the burn which only hurt worse now that he could view it. He moved his eyes back to the poker, once again relaying the information Lotta had supplied.

"Where to strike first? How about…_here_!"

Instead of stabbing, she struck at him with slashes. Though perhaps not as painful as getting stabbed, Merlin understood why she was doing it. He would stay awake and alive longer this way. That meant more pain.

"And _here_! And _here_!"

She went about it like a fencer, utter joy in her eyes as she transformed Merlin's skin into a canvas of orange, red, and brown.

"Tell me about Harry!" she cried in a gleeful voice.

Merlin stayed silent, to afraid that if he opened his mouth an endless scream would be the only thing to come out.

"Tell me about your friends! Tell me about Percival! Where are you located? How many agents do you have?"

Even if he had wanted to, her endless stream of questions and commands only succeeded in fogging up Merlin's head as he tried to concentrate on ignoring the pain.

"Nothing?! Honestly nothing! You disappoint me! Do you honestly want me to go further?" she hissed out, eyes wide as saucers as her face came in close to Merlin's.

He resisted the urge to shake his head as his breathing came out in short, uneven gasps.

"No? Well, I suppose I should reheat this just so this next phase goes more smoothly," replied Lotta as she walked away.

Merlin watched her as he tried to keep the shakes in his body to a minimum. The burns across his chest pulled and stretched every time he moved, screaming for attention. He wished he'd fainted already. Lotta was less likely to keep going if she didn't get to see a reaction.

Finally turning around, she held up the poker again, went to check the camera, and walked over to Merlin.

"Tell me what I want to know."

"No," Merlin murmured.

"Why? Why won't you do what I ask? It's a pointless group! You can always join another one, make another one! What are you protecting? I've already tried to inform you about Harry. He's not worth it," she whispered with a factual tone in her voice.

Merlin didn't rise to the bait, didn't respond, just barely keeping the pained yet still neutral look across his face.

Rolling her eyes, Lotta turned to the camera and pointed the hot poker at it. "Just remember Harry. This was all _your_ doing." Turning back to Merlin, Lotta first flipped the poker over and then forced his head back into a steadier position. With an evenly controlled strike, she drove the poker into Merlin's right eye.

Any control Merlin had been clinging onto left him as scream after scream tore at his vocal chords.

"Oh shut up! It could have been a lot fucking worse!" shouted Lotta as she pulled back and dropped the poker onto the ground. Despite its removal, Merlin was still screaming and Lotta's face twisted itself up as she screeched, "Shut up shut up shut up!" Putting one hand over Merlin's mouth and forcing his head up and towards the camera, she shrieked, "You did this, Harry! You and your fucking organization and your lies and promises!"

She traced the very edge of the burn with her nail, outlining it for all to see. Finally letting go, she walked up to the camera and stuck her face in it. Her chest heaving, she let out one final shout as she screamed, "You will never know another moment of peace while I am alive! I will tear you apart and bring forth the monster that precious Merlin can't see! I will decimate you!"


	24. Lights Cameras Action Part 4

Another video had been uploaded. The media, mainly in North America and Europe, had even started talking about them and seeing them. Was it a hoax? Real? No one seemed to know and no one really seemed to care that much. But if more videos came, then people would start talking, they'd really notice, and Harry would feel even more helpless.

He'd lost his eye. He'd lost his fucking eye because of him.

The first thing Harry had done after seeing that was throw up. He wasn't sure how he'd done so though. He'd barely eaten anything in the past thirty-two hours. Yet a new surge of unrecognizable force had pushed through his body. He pushed even harder and broke through the necessary walls to find what he needed to know.

He'd been right about the girl lying about something. Julia Macht's information had been falsified but by who he couldn't find out. Nevertheless, despite the need for urgency, he didn't go straight to the girl. He was still to riled up and knew he would be more likely to make Julia retreat into herself rather than share anything willingly. He had to find Merlin but he couldn't do so like a rampaging rhino. He needed to focus and not simply hit everything until something gave.

This time J.B. wasn't with her but like before, she immediately caught onto his mood and asked, "Things still bad?"

"For the foreseeable future, yes. And I can't say you lying to me has really helped that," Harry replied. He allowed a small sliver of anger to enter but not enough to utterly terrify the girl.

"I…I don't know what you mean."

"Your records have been falsified. I can pull up the proof so there's no point in trying to hide that. Now, will you tell me what your real name is?"

She didn't answer, instead opting to pull her legs up to her chest as a fearful look came into her eyes.

"You took a bullet, something which I'm now thinking was originally planned. Perhaps you were meant to be a mole, steal something, find out the layout of this place. Honestly, I could fucking care less."

"Then why interrogate me at all! Just let me leave! I won't say anything! I promise!"

Narrowing his eyes, Harry pulled up the profile on Merlin through the Kingsman database onto the screen across from her bed. "Do you see that man? He is a superb agent, one of the smartest men I know. He is also one of the kindest and someone I love. Lotta Carlstedt, the woman who ran that building you were in, kidnapped him and has been torturing him. If I don't find him, he will die and that death will be on you if you don't help."

The girl shook her head rapidly back and forth. "I can't. I can't tell you anything. I don't know anything!"

"If you're doing this because you were threatened, because someone you care about was put at risk, we can help but only if you talk to me."

"I can't," she repeated again, tears forming and falling down her face. "I just can't."

A number of ways to persuade Julia came through Harry's mind but he finally decided on an emotional one rather than physical. As much as it pained him, he pulled up the second video of Merlin and played it for her, sound and all. When she started to cry harder and tried to put her hands over her eyes and ears, Harry forced them down.

"This is what you are allowing to happen by keeping quite. Now who are you?" pressed Harry.

The crying only came faster yet she did attempt words through the sobs that wracked her body. "She said she wouldn't hurt anyone anymore! She said she wouldn't!" she got out in uneven hiccups.

"Carlstedt? Did she make you do this?"

Julia quickly nodded yes.

"Do you have any information on her? _Anything_ remotely useful?"

For whatever reason she seemed to cry harder and Harry backed off only slightly as he moved closer and comforted her. "Take a deep breath. In…then out, good. Just calm down and start from the beginning. What is your name?" asked Harry.

"It's really Julia," she murmured, wiping tears from her eyes.

"And your last name? If there's anyone that needs protecting we will find them and keep them safe. You have my word."

"I'm an only child," she choked out. "I don't have any friends. Dad…I don't have anyone."

"Just tell me your last name," Harry urged.

"I can't. You'll kill me! I know you will!"

"Why would I do that? As far as I can tell you've only done what you've had to do to survive. What is it?"

Blubbering began to occur throughout her body again as she switched from German to English (which Harry noted she spoke perfectly). "It's my mom! My mom oh my god my mom! I'm a Carlstedt! I'm Julia Carlstedt!" When she felt Harry's arms stiffen, she pushed away hard enough to fall on the ground and scramble to the corner. "You're going to kill me now! I know you are! You're going to!"

"I'm not going to kill you. I won't hurt you," Harry responded slowly as he approached her. He got down on his knees, still about two feet away from her. He knew he was tense, knew that his muscles were contracting uncontrollably, but he tried to keep himself neutral looking at least. "Lotta is your mother?"

"Yes," she cried. "I wish she wasn't! Honest!"

"Then why help her? Why not run away?"

"I use to try but she always caught me. She always caught me!"

"But why help her still. Did she threaten to hurt you?"

"No," Julia whispered. "She promised to kill my dad. He's been trapped like that for so long but she won't let him die! She just tortures him further and further and he can't say anything! Can't even see! She said she'd kill him if I got shot and then took in as much information as I could! She promised to leave me alone! I just want to be left alone!"

"Help us and you can," Harry replied softly. "I will do everything in my power to help you with whatever you want. I will get you a new identity, I will end your father's pain. I promise."

"Then you do not hate me for being her daughter?"

"No one can choose what family they're born into," responded Harry. "Do we have a deal?"

"On one condition."

"Which is?"

"Kill my mother," she whispered. "I don't care how just kill her. I don't think I'll ever be rid of her until she's dead."

A breath of coldness entered Harry's voice unbidden but not completely unwelcomed. "Already on my to-do list. Now tell me all you can."

"My mother taught me all about how to hide. What the governments and mercenaries look for in phone calls, on cameras and satellite images. She can hide from the best of them but I can point out the most likely places Merlin would be and how many men she probably has. I can tell you what measures of security she usually forgets and the areas in each building she'd most likely use for torture. I just need an image of Europe."

Standing up, Harry walked back to where he'd put the tablet down. Pulling up a satellite image, they spent the next thirty minutes going over every possible area Merlin could be. As they went about it, Julia added, "She talked about you. A lot honestly. Usually it ended in someone getting hurt or at worst a foot soldier getting killed. I don't think anyone has pissed her off that much since my dad."

"Am I anything like how she described me?"

"She made you seem wild. You're really quite collected."

"Anything else?"

"Her words made you seem scary," replied Julia softly. "I think utterly terrifying seems like a better word."

Harry took that in carefully. He had tried to frighten the girl only enough to show the seriousness of the situation but the frantic look that Julia gave him as if she believed she'd made a mistake by speaking the truth suggested otherwise. Had he appeared harsher than he'd meant? He made a note to be even more careful with such emotions as he concentrated on the locations that she was giving him. Harry would focus on any emotional problems later. Now all that mattered was finding Merlin.

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**AN: ****So now we know about Julia! Thanks as always and hopefully you liked this chapter. Certainly not my favorite one that I've written but it's leading on to a much more fun chapter!**


	25. Lights Cameras Action Part 5

Perhaps it had been the thrashing about but when Merlin woke up, he felt like his bonds were looser. His back was aching like hell and his head hurt. Why did his head hurt so—

Oh yeah, it was probably connected to his inability to see out of his right eye. Thinking about it, he noticed the feeling of cloth around the area as if someone had bandaged it. He wondered why they would take time to do such a thing and decided that it ultimately had to do with the risk of infection. Wouldn't want their plaything to get sick would they?

For the first time, Merlin really had time to think as Lotta wasn't already in the room or immediately entering it after he'd opened his eyes-sorry eye. Finally he could fully take in what was happening to him, the pain, the scars that would ultimately form, the lost of sight on one side. If he'd been alone he might have started crying but one glance at the camera in the corner reminded him that he wasn't. As there was no audience to send information to, no sick woman to entertain, Merlin finally examined the room.

The only opening was the door yet that also meant a controlled flow of men and women coming in. All weapons were still on the table and if he could get lose he'd have his own mini armory.

Finally an escape plan. It brought a small seed of hope into Merlin's chest just as Lotta came in again.

"I saw you were awake. How's the eye?" she asked easily.

"Don't really know. Can't see out of it but that was a given."

Lotta smiled and closed the door behind her as she sauntered over. "Hmm, so tough! Many lesser beings would have broken by now. So, care to tell me about Harry and the organization this time?"

"No."

"Would you like me to take out the other eye?"

"But then I wouldn't be able to see your beautiful face."

"Good point," Lotta replied with a quick laugh. Turning on the camera she added, "I'm sorry to say that this will be a quick one. Plenty of things to do but I wouldn't want to derive the people of new content."

This time she grabbed a simple knife and moved in front of Merlin. He expected her to slice at him in wild strokes like before but instead she began to carve through the top layers of skin and scar tissue that had formed over the burns.

Merlin tried to regulate his breathing as he wished he could scream at her to stop. If there was a way to make her kill him quicker he wouldn't hesitate to use that option but he knew there wasn't without divulging information about Kingsman. No matter what she did he could never betray them.

Suffering silently this time, Lotta stepped back and admired her handy work. "I'll bring a mirror in with your meal. You just have to see this." Quickly stepping out, she was back within five minutes with a bottle of water, a bowl of something, and a mirror under her arm. "Here, first you need to drink up. Wouldn't want you to die from starvation or dehydration would we?"

The parchness of his lips and throat were finally answered as he tried to control how much he took in, not wanting to throw up any immediately afterwards. Letting out deeper breaths thanks to the calm moment he had, Merlin finally looked up to see Lotta holding out the mirror.

"Come on. I want to see if you think I have any artistic abilities."

Focusing on the mirror, Merlin's stomach did a somersault.

"See, you're mine now. Now and forever."

Carved into his chest were the words 'Lotta's Property'. Simple yet effective as Merlin looked away but then suddenly looked back as he looked at his face instead of chest.

"Right, you haven't seen your eye yet. I'm curious if you'll look even greener once the bandages come off." Lotta smirked and went to turn the camera off. "Don't worry; we'll have more fun next time. You just sit there and stew a bit."

The sudden emptiness of the room allowed Merlin to finally breath freely. He was aware and would probably have quite a bit of time to himself which meant really testing the bonds. He had just begun to tug and pull at the bonds when an explosion suddenly rocked the entire compound.

"What the fuck?" growled out Merlin. However as the second explosion occurred, he threw coyness out the window and violently began to try and loosen his hands. The right one broke free of its bonds more easily and then each bond came away easier than the last. Now he could get free, get out of here, get to Harry. He'd—

Merlin immediately fell down, his limbs shaking from the little bit of strength that was needed to stand. Right, it had been at least three days if not more.

Nevertheless, he pushed himself forward, more crawling than anything, and then pulled himself up, using the table as leverage. Another detonation sounded, this one slightly more distant, as Merlin looked through the weapons. It was doubtful that anyone would willingly open his cell at a moment like this which meant he'd need something to break out and then weapons for later. But there was simply so much and seemingly random that Merlin wasn't sure where to start and god his legs were fucking weak and—

Suddenly Merlin was flying up and forward, hitting the wall in front of him hard as rubble and unknown objects smacked into his body. He slid to the floor only to find that the floor wasn't really there anymore. He came to rest in a pile of rubble about a foot below the now non-existent floor of his cell. His ears were ringing and the dust made it hard to see out of the one eye.

Trying to move forward, pain suddenly shot through his leg adding to all other ailments. The bone had pierced the skin. Despite this Merlin pushed forward anyways, resisting the urge to bite off his own tongue in pain. Bodies were littered in the decimated hallway but it was clear that some had been taken down by bullets and not the bomb. Picking up two different guns, he put one in the back and held the other in his left hand. The change in hand was odd but something told him he'd do better if he could see the target, even if it was with a hand that he didn't commonly use.

Limping away, the ringing in his ears slowly left and he could hear more gunfire and screams from around him. He wondered who had found Lotta and couldn't help but pray that it was Harry. Nevertheless, he didn't assume anything and instead of looking for a familiar face, looked for an exit instead. He would get out or die trying. Getting captured again was not an option.

* * *

**AN: ****The end of Lights Cameras Action! Slightly shorter chapter than usual but I felt I fit everything in that I needed to. Thanks again for taking the time to read this!**


	26. Pursuit

**AN: ****Bit late for this but hopefully it turns out to be what everyone was hoping for. Enjoy!**

* * *

Harry had sent out agents to all bases. He'd wanted to go to one himself but as Roxy and Eggsy pointed out, if he was wrong, walked into a trap, couldn't get out, then Kingsman would be without an Arthur and a Merlin. As much as he needed to find Merlin, he knew he had to think of Kingsman as well and what he had done made more sense.

And then the explosion occurred. They caught it on the satellite and it had Harry double checking where every agent was.

"It's one of the ones we're not at. I'm trying to get any camera feeds around the area," Roxy said hurriedly. Pulling up a news reel, the woman had apparently been performing a report on a traffic accident when the explosion blew up behind her.

"We can't see anything," said Harry. "I don't have any agents there so who the hell is doing this?" He looked to Julia who he had made sure was with him constantly. Despite her earnest words, he wouldn't allow himself to be tricked. So far she hadn't done anything that might suggest she was a double agent, all her information so far checking out. Now, he hoped for something more and prayed that Merlin wasn't in the collapsing compound.

"Mom has plenty of enemies but so few know about where she is. I mean, she did cut off all ties with her business partners," Julia said hurriedly. "And there's nothing overly important or interesting about that place that I know of."

"But what about new connections?" questioned Roxy.

"The Simba Tano!" Harry quickly called the phone that Margaret Cartwright had asked them to contact her with after Gawain left. It took several calls until she finally picked up.

"Kingsman, nice to hear from you again. Who am I talking to?"

"Arthur. I need to know if you have any men in France right now."

"Well yeah but how did you know?" she asked, confusion clear in her voice.

"We have Carlstedt's daughter. We've begun monitoring the bases that she knew of when explosions started occurring at one of the buildings. What do you know about it?"

"After you gave me the information you got from Merlin, I've been weeding through the higher people and finding those that had been bought over by her. A lot didn't actually know anything though until I found someone with knowledge of one of her compounds. After killing him, I loaded up the men under him and sent them to attack. I've made sure they can't be traced back to me afterwards. Why the sudden need to know?"

"Because Merlin is at one of the bases. I need to make sure your men do not kill him on sight if he's there."

"How many bases are there?"

"Six. I have men at four of them right now."

"Send me the information and I'll send more covert teams over to the other two. I'll help you find him Arthur," replied Cartwright. "I'll get back in touch with you if any of my teams find anything."

"Thank you," Harry responded with a sigh. Ending the call and turning to Roxy, he added, "I want eyes in that area. I want to see exactly what the hell is happening."

* * *

It was all wrong! How the hell had she miscalculated. What had gone wrong? Lotta was so enraged that when one of the men asked an idiotic question she grabbed the nearest gun and shot him on the spot.

"Who the hell is firing at us!" she screamed.

No one had any answers so Lotta suddenly decided to concentrate on Merlin. "Don't let him get out! We need him if—"

The explosion rocked the ground and blew the feeds in a whole block, the same block Merlin was at.

"Get everyone and everything out! Eliminate anyone on sight except for Merlin. I want him back immediately!" screeched Lotta. Checking the clip of the gun she had just fired, she loaded it back up and quickly headed out on her own. Despite what she had ordered, she doubted any of the halfwits she had would actually succeed in finding him. That was the problem with foot soldiers. They couldn't be smart enough to question you but that occasionally hurt the moments when she needed intelligent thinkers the most.

There was a time when she had intelligent people and foot soldiers but no more. She would have to build all of that up once this was over.

She moved into the block and quickly went to Merlin's cell. Upon seeing the damage to the floor, she slid down the rubble and gave a quick look through to make sure he hadn't died in the blast. However, due to the way the bomb had gone off, it was doubtful he would have landed under the rubble.

Moving through the halls, she headed towards the nearest exit. Though it was risky that Merlin might have been headed towards the exact same door, the noise of fighting did decrease suggesting a closer proximity to the edge of the building as the attackers moved farther in.

Finally coming to the exit after only coming across bodies, she pushed open the door carefully just in case more men were out there. However, the only ones there were a few civilians, a police car that had just arrived and—

Merlin! There he was! Immediately Lotta stepped out from her cover and fired twice at the two officers. Civilians screamed and scattered but Merlin dived for the car, moving around to the driver's side and hobbling in.

Lotta had clearly seen the broken leg and it pleased her greatly. If she could make the car inoperable then overtaking Merlin would be simple.

As Merlin whipped the police car around and out, Lotta jumped in front of a moving car. It swerved but the one behind it slammed on their breaks. Killing the driver, she pulled her out and jumped in, quickly speeding through traffic to get to Merlin.

His driving skills were impeccable yet there was something he had that Lotta didn't, compassion. He dodged civilians as best he could where as Lotta plowed through the first one in her path. As the man's body broke the windshield and flew over the top, Lotta fired through it, shattering it completely, and aimed for the tires of Merlin's car.

She was on her last round when the bullet hit its target and Merlin's car went careening to the left. However, he leveled it out and continued onward, his speed somewhat slowed now.

Pushing forward, Lotta got close enough to bump the police car. She knew that damaging the car would be difficult and would more likely ruin the front of hers but as she could see Merlin jerk forward she realized if she could just hit it hard enough then Merlin might lose control long enough to crash the car.

She hit the back again, harder this time, and then attempted to speed up on his side. However, Merlin slammed on his breaks and took a sharp corner. Lotta turned at the next corner, speeding through the streets to catch up with him. Suddenly she saw him drive in front of her and she turned onto the street, just barely clipping his end.

In front of them was a bridge but one only for pedestrians. Knowing that Merlin would try to turn onto a different street, Lotta floored it and when she hit Merlin, she kept going. She got what she wanted and the momentum caused Merlin to lose control. Letting off the gas slightly, she slammed her foot back down as the police car turned slightly and hit him directly on the side.

If there had been enough room, they would have skidded to a stop but instead they slammed into the concrete polls that blocked cars from going across the bridge. The airbag in Lotta's car didn't go off, causing her head to fling forward and for her to break her nose. Nevertheless, despite her head spinning and pounding, she clambered out and rushed forward.

In spite of the position he'd been hit, Merlin had been more protected by the crash and was attempting to climb out the other side. Thanks to the prior injuries though, he'd only just fallen from the window when Lotta rounded on him.

"You're not going anywhere!" she screeched, immediately going for the broken leg. The pressure she put on it had Merlin howling yet he pushed her over and tried to stand up and hobble away.

Merlin fell forward once more as Lotta grabbed onto one of his legs and pulled him down. However, he kicked at her and managed to get to the edge of the bridge and was halfway over the railing when she grabbed onto him again.

"No! You can't get away!" She almost managed in pulling Merlin back over when he did something that she hadn't expected at all.

Thrusting his head forward, he latched his teeth onto her nose and bit through the flesh. The sudden pain had her screaming and Lotta let go. Merlin could have done the same but instead he only bit harder until his teeth went right through, only then pushing away and falling back into the water as Lotta shrieked from above.


	27. Your Face

**AN: ****So many horrible ways I thought of taking this. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Cold water shocked and stung Merlin as he was momentarily frozen. However, he'd succeeded in taking a huge gulp of air before falling and quickly allowed the current to move him away. He succeeded in staying underneath the water for five minutes before he was forced to come up. No sign of Lotta brought Merlin some relief and with thanks to the current, he'd probably been carried far enough away to go to shore. However, he took another gulp of air, went under, and drifted for another five minutes before coming up and heading towards the side.

From what little he remembered from the car chase, he guessed he was in France, most likely Paris. All he needed was a phone and then he'd be away. He thought of trying to get one from a civilian but there was a chance Lotta might somehow track him down. The police, that's what he wanted. He didn't care what they locked him up for. He just needed to get off the streets.

He floated over to a docking area and succeeded in pulling himself up only to collapse on the ground as the sound of pounding feet was heard. He was surprised when somebody came near. He probably looked like he'd crawled out of a horror movie and though the water had helped in washing some of the blood off, he only realized he still had part of Lotta's nose in his mouth when he went to open it.

Spitting it out, he heard a person jump back and then somebody began shouting something. The French was difficult to understand in his exhausted state but he knew the word hospital was somewhere in there.

Merlin needed to stay awake and aware but now that he was no longer moving exhaustion was taking him. And he was so hot. Had he been that warm beforehand? The water had seemed pretty cold.

Closing his eyes, he was able to feel and hear the world around him. Something was carrying him now, stiff and long. He heard doors opening and closing, sirens going, felt the movement of a car. Then something was coming over his mouth and his mind was forced into a dull buzz and the world shifted from thought.

The first time he opened his eyes the room he was in was dark. He'd awoken from some type of noise and saw a figure above, causing fear to spike. However, to weak and mind to muddled, he felt something come over his mouth again and the room was gone once more.

The second time he opened his eyes there were more people around him. There was movement underneath him and he noted the military uniforms, the dark skin. Was its Lotta's men from the Simba Tano? Had they caught him again?

Merlin tried to speak but any words that came out were to slurred as his voice went in and out. That time he fell asleep instead of being forced under and the darkness was comforting and welcomed by this point, especially with the uncertainty of the surroundings.

The third time Merlin opened his eyes Lotta was standing there. He screamed and kicked and fought as hard as he could. Falling off the bed he was in, he tried to scrabble away but his broken leg was now in some type of cast, making it harder to get away.

Finally pulled up, he was forced back into the bed. As something came over his face, the last thing Merlin saw before being knocked out was Lotta's face. He was fairly sure he said something but he couldn't even tell what it was.

The world was black again and on the fourth time he opened his eyes, he noted his entire body felt numb. He could move his head but he could barely feel the pillow underneath it and his tongue felt heavy. So he was drugged. Even if he'd been bound to the bed, which he wasn't and that was strange, he wouldn't have been able to do much anyways.

Finally looking down, he saw the hand next to his. Was he imagining it? He inched his fingers over and they didn't go through the image.

"Christ," he softly croaked out. "I hope you're not a fucking hallucination."

Suddenly the hand shot forward, tightening around Merlin's, and a face moved into view.

"Please tell me you're here," gasped Merlin, his throat raw from lack of water. "Please."

"I'm here Merlin. You're safe. You're home. I'm here," Harry whispered, leaning forward, getting as close as possible without practically crushing him. "Do you remember anything of the past week?"

"Week? I was out that long?" murmured Merlin.

Harry nodded, turned away for several seconds, and then held out a glass of water. "Sounds like you need it."

"I think it would be better if you did it."

Harry helped Merlin sat up and then carefully poured the water into his mouth. When he was finished, Merlin added, "So I was really out that long?"

"Yes, you came in and out several times, mostly talking nonsense. Cartwright had men at the place you were being held. While they attacked, you escaped and then afterwards some civilian called for an ambulance. Not long after that, Cartwright had her men retrieve you and we met them at a midway point and brought you here. Your wounds had grown infected and your fever was almost dangerously high."

"Was Lotta ever here? I saw her and—"

"You thought one of the doctors was her. You tried to break free-well you actually did for a bit, and we had to sedate you. It was just a hallucination though," Harry said softly as he stroked Merlin's cheek.

"I bit off her nose."

"What?"

"I was trying to jump off a bridge. She tried pulling me back over so I bit her nose off. Seemed like a good idea at the time," Merlin mused softly. He turned away and when he turned back to Harry he softly whispered, "She's really not here? We're actually at Kingsman?"

"Yes, I promise."

"My information. Did you—"

"We received it all. Now take a breather. You only just woke up."

Ignoring the command, Merlin asked, "What happened to her? Her building?"

"Utterly ransacked, most of her men were killed, but we can't find her. We're looking though."

"And my wounds. What's the damage report?"

"Merlin—"

"I need to know Harry. I can't relax until I do."

"Fine, I understand. The leg won't be able to heal completely right due to all the damage it sustained. You'll have a limp but with rest and exercise it shouldn't be as bad in time. The electrical burn will fade but it'll remain, the scaring to severe. The other burns should fade with time and the knife wounds will heal the quickest. Your eye…" Here Harry hesitated and it only made the fearful anticipation worst. "The entire socket is damaged. The scaring around it will fade some but the actual wound will always be there. As of right now, it can't be repaired."

"Like a pirate."

Harry looked cautiously at him.

"Sorry, don't know why I said that. I think it's the drugs," sighed Merlin. Glancing back up at Harry, Merlin weakly pulled him closer (though it was more Harry moving forward than Merlin actually making a difference). In a soft voice, he said, "I need you to be nearer. I can't leave you again."

"You won't," Harry replied as he did as Merlin wished. Carefully, he wrapped himself around the other, becoming as close as possible. As he caressed Merlin's cheek, he could feel the tears finally flowing. As they came, Harry wiped each one away as carefully as the last.

Silence filled the room when suddenly Merlin whispered, "You're here."

"I am."

"You're…here," Merlin said, his voice catching. He stopped there, the tears flowing slightly harder. Letting out a shaky breath, he added, "It's these damn drugs. Can't keep anything in."

"I know," whispered Harry as he continued his previous motions. Like the days prior, he stayed with Merlin all night only this time he stayed awake, slightly unsure that he was actually wrapped around him.


	28. Battle Plan

When Merlin woke up, he half expected to be strapped to a chair with Lotta standing over him. However, Harry was wrapped around him instead and Merlin let out a sign of relief. He shifted slightly and Harry was immediately awake and aware.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, and ready to begin the day. Can you tell me about Percival?" asked Merlin.

Harry nodded. "Everything has been reading fine and he's awake and functioning fine. Until we can figure out a way to get that device out of his head, I've had the engineers work on a device that can block the signal so he can go out of HQ."

"And Cartwright? Have you heard anything from her? What about—"

"How about I get you breakfast," Harry said slowly as he interrupted Merlin, "and then I'll bring all of the agents in here and we can properly sit down and discuss all that we know."

"Right, sorry. I suppose I am getting a little ahead of myself."

"It's understandable. I'll be right back," Harry responded, pressing a soft kiss to Merlin's forehead.

After he got back and succeeded in helping Merlin get something down, he left momentarily again and when he came back, Eggsy, Roxy, Gawain, Percival, Yvain, Julia, and Cartwright were following him. Merlin was shocked to see Cartwright there but focused in on Percival and Julia who had both been unconscious last he'd seen them.

Before he could get anything out though, Julia was kneeling behind him and crying, saying, "I'm so sorry! I didn't want any of this to happen! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"It's not your fault," Harry whispered. "Like I said before, you aren't accountable for whatever your mother has done."

"Her mother…?"

"To begin with, Julia's mother is Carlstedt," Harry responded as he softly rubbed circles into Julia's back.

"I agreed to be shot in the hopes that I would be brought here," Julia got out tearfully. "When it was found out my records were falsified I told the truth and told them of the only compounds I knew of where you were likely held."

"And I still have agents casing the other buildings though nothing has come up so far. The building you were in was attacked by one of Cartwright's teams."

"But why are you here?" asked Merlin as he turned to her. "I mean…how are you here? It must have been nearly impossible to get into the country."

"It wasn't as difficult as you might think. Don't worry, I've already revealed the holes in Britain's security. But I felt that I had to personally make sure you got here alright seeing as my men were able to find you."

"And your cover?"

"Still intact," Cartwright replied. "I'll be going back with Harry and Lee tomorrow."

Frowning slightly, Merlin asked, "What have you found out?"

"Nothing concrete but it's likely that Carlstedt is heading back to reorganize the groups she controls with the Simba Tano," replied Cartwright. "Hopefully if a fight insures we'll be able to eliminate her and tear apart the Simba Tano in one go. Harry and Lee will be going covertly and that way if things get to complicated on my end, one of them will hopefully be able to keep an eye on Carlstedt and kill her before she gets away again."

"Did you capture any of her men at the building where I was kept?"

Roxy stepped forward and replied, "Several of which myself and Yvain went through but no one had anything useful. It wasn't undying loyalty that kept them from telling us either. They just honestly didn't know anything."

"And I'm going to assume that you've revealed everything?" Merlin asked Julia.

She quickly nodded. "There's a lot I've learned from her but I'm afraid most of it is useless now that she's destroyed everything."

"Do you think it's likely that your mother went to Africa?"

"Those are the only connections that she has left. She's going to try and hold onto them as effectively as possible. Either that or she'll come here in search of me," Julia responded honestly. "Her connections in Africa are probably more important to her though so I wouldn't place any bets on me."

Nodding in understanding, Merlin turned to Percival. "And as far as you can tell, how are you?"

"Fine but I haven't tried stepping out of HQ since then."

"I'd like to take another look at you as soon as possible. Still, if we're lucky, whatever was controlling you was only made once and will be destroyed if it hasn't already been. I'd like my tablet back and all open feeds sent through."

Letting out a small sigh, Harry murmured, "Merlin…"

"I swear on the Queen's life that if you tell me I shouldn't be working so soon I will kill you Harry," Merlin replied darkly.

"You were just tortured!"

"And I won't fully be able to rest until Carlstedt is six feet under!" Merlin yelled back. "Besides, I won't be directly involved in any of this, just monitoring it. Now may I please have what I requested?"

Harry let out a small sigh but nodded. "Yvain, get Merlin's tablet and make sure it's connected to anything he might need." After Yvain left, Harry added, "If you over work yourself it's your own damn fault."

"When have you ever known me to overwork myself?" asked Merlin.

A smile finally slipped across Harry's features as he replied, "Do you really want me to answer that?"

Merlin's mouth quirked upwards as well as he turned to Eggsy. "And yourself?"

"Currently been watching over Julia over her and going over the other information she's given me. So far nothing of interest. It's either been destroyed and disbanded or is simply meaningless anyways. Still working on it though."

"Good. I suppose that's all that's left then."

Cartwright nodded and said, "With any luck, we'll find her in Africa and this entire issue will finally be over and done with. Hopefully the next time we see each other it'll be under better circumstances."

She turned to leave, Gawain following her, just as Yvain walked back in and handed Merlin his tablet. Doing a quick sweep of it to make sure everything was in order, Merlin gave his thanks.

"Anything of importance that I've left out?" asked Harry, looking around at the others. "No? Then back to work. And Merlin, try to relax some."

"Good luck with that," Eggsy said with a small grin. "You do realize this is exactly what happened between Merlin and you after you immediately came back right? You couldn't stop working and we all know Merlin won't."

"You're not helping Eggsy," Harry replied though there was a hint of amusement throughout his voice.

"Just speaking the truth Harry," Eggsy replied with a grin as he headed out with Julia behind him.

The rest of the group left as well as Harry turned a pointed look towards Merlin. "You know I have half a mind to take that away from you."

"I'd fight you for it."

"You'd probably break something else."

Merlin gave a small snort and then the light look on his face slowly disappeared. "I didn't think I'd ever have a conversation like this again," he murmured.

"Did you really think you'd die?" whispered Harry.

"No, but I hoped for it. I didn't really have a chance of escape though I kept trying to come up with one. If Julia hadn't given you the chance of finding me, if Cartwright hadn't attacked the compound, I'd probably be alive for years but not living. She'd probably make me worst off than her husband…if that's even possible." He shuddered and then softly touched the bandage around his eye. "I can't see but I feel like I should. I feel like it's rolling around in there, turning with my other eye but it's not. Nothing's there."

"I should have been able to protect you. I should have been there. I—"

"Harry, for god's sake don't beat yourself up over this. There is no way you could have known that Lotta would go after me and it was my own stupidity that got me captured. I should have double checked the bastard was dead before relaxing," murmured Merlin with a shake of his head.

"But it's my—"

"It is not your fault!" yelled Merlin. "And trying to apologize and saying that it was your fault won't change that fact that it wasn't! You want to make amends for something you didn't do! I don't need that from you. All I need you to do is kill that bitch and end this before anyone else gets hurt."

"I can do that," Harry murmured.

"Good, because I'd fucking do it myself but I'm currently stuck to a bed," Merlin replied as he suddenly held out his hand. "Now come here. I don't know when I'll be able to see you next."

Harry did so, sitting beside Merlin and taking his hand, kissed it softly and held it tight.

Moving closer and kissing Harry full on the lips, Merlin said, "Finish the mission. Get back soon."

"Understood."


	29. Under An African Sun Part 1

**AN: ****So sorry for the wait! This chapter was a little hard to figure out but I finally did. Enjoy!**

* * *

Harry said his goodbyes to Merlin before getting dressed, gathered all needed items, and finally joined both Cartwright and Gawain. Gawain and Harry were going to drop down near the end of the plane ride and then Cartwright was going to continue on to a base. The Kingsman agents would receive all information from Cartwright, working from the outside as she explored from within, and would hopefully find Carlstedt in the end.

The trip was rather uneventful and before they reached their destination, the agents made their jump. It had been some time since Harry had skydived but he remembered the procedure perfectly. He was able to feel unconnected and free. And then he opened up the parachute, landed, and had to bring himself back to reality.

"The safe house is about half a mile that way," Harry said as he quickly packed the parachute back up. "Hopefully Cartwright will be able to receive some type of information or else all we'll be able to do is wait."

"She'll dredge up something. Believe me when I say she never leaves any stone unturned," Gawain responded.

The way he said it had Harry looking over at the other curiously. "She thought you were cheating on her."

Gawain rolled his eyes and let out a tired sigh as they began trekking across the environment. "Yep, and it was the most painful three months of my life. Granted, it was in the beginning of the relationship and thankfully MI-6 and Kingsman had that joint mission which explained a lot of things on both ends," Gawain said with a small chuckle. "In the end I didn't mind it that much. She made up for the accusations pretty well."

Harry rolled his eyes at Gawain's tone and simply continued walking. From behind, Gawain suddenly asked, "Once we find Carlstedt the goal is to kill her, right?"

"Of course. Why even ask that?" Harry questioned.

"I don't know. Just was wondering if you wanted to question her or anything before eliminating her."

Letting out a tired sigh, Harry responded, "I would prefer it if my fellow agents didn't lie to me."

"It wasn't a lie sir."

"Oh it was a lie but it must have been a damn good one if it's fooled the liar as well."

For a moment, silence filled the space between the two Kingsman until finally Gawain gave and he said, "I'd simply like to know if there's another agenda you plan on carrying out. Lotta Carlstedt has put plenty of people through hell, especially yourself and Merlin, and I wouldn't think of you any less if you had your own plans. I would simply like to know if we're not simply eliminating her."

"You see her in your sights at any point and you kill her," Harry replied evenly. "I promise you there is no other agenda than that."

"Understood, I just needed to make sure."

"And I recognize that. But hopefully this will be the last place Carlstedt will ever breath," Harry replied.

They continued their trek until they finally arrived at their safe house. Setting everything up, they waited for word from Cartwright. Three hours passed and nothing. It was painful waiting and Harry took to cleaning the weapons over and over again. The little toys had been left behind and what he looked over were sniper rifles and machine guns, grenade launchers and explosives. They were prepared for a five second battle or a week event. It was impossible to know if they'd get a clear shot of Carlstedt first or if chaos would ensue beforehand. Even if they did succeed in killing Carlstedt it was impossible to tell if they'd get out of the situation immediately, or even at all.

After five hours, the first transmission from Cartwright came in.

"I'll have to make this quick but those sold over by Carlstedt basically plan to overthrow me tomorrow. The first attack is supposed to be by noon tomorrow and Carlstedt will be here though through what channel she's coming through I don't know. I had to find all this out by listening in. If I forced someone to tell me all of this I'd have to kill them, and then she may become to suspicious and back off, or let them go but they'd probably just run off to her. The main attack will be happening in the town's square. We have a warehouse there which they'll probably blow up and then proceed to kill all soldiers and probably quite a few civilians as well. Most likely they'll head to the base I'm at after that but there was no word of certainty on it."

"Then Carlstedt must be waiting to arrive to give any more orders," Harry responded, "in the off chance that someone has been compromised. Get your men ready and try to clear as many civilians from that area without making her suspicious. We'll station ourselves in the surrounding buildings. Did you get any word on where Carlstedt may locate herself specifically?"

"I'm sorry Harry but no. I'd guess she'll stick around the perimeter until she knows the compound has definitely been taken over. She's not one to put herself in the line of firing if it's not necessary," replied Cartwright. "But she'll also be close to make sure no one in particular screws the whole thing up."

"Thank you Cartwright. Hopefully this entire event will be over with by tomorrow. Until next time."

Cartwright nodded, gave one last quick smile to Gawain, and then ended the transmission.

Immediately, Harry was pulling up a satellite image of the town and planning out the best areas to lay low and wait. There were only two security cameras so other than that, Harry's and Gawain's own eyes would be all they had.

The night flew by quickly and the few dreams that flitted through his head was mostly filled with images of Carlstedt's brain's splattering out like a Pollock painting. Each time he woke up in a cold sweat, chest heaving and skin wet. But his hands remained still and firm, never shaking or wavering from their movement.

Gawain and Harry split up the next day, situating themselves on separate roofs with a clear view of the square. Harry was closer to the building, meaning more danger if it blew up, but he also had a clear view of four of the five street entrances into the square. Harry evenly and effectively set up his sniper rifle and double checked all other equipment as he watched the people moving about.

His eyes flitted to the children, the men and women that didn't carry weapons or wear armor. He looked at the ones that would immediately die if a bomb went off now …. or now …. or now. But if they had completely evacuated the city then Lotta would certainly not show and knowing her rage, she probably would have burned the entire town to the ground even if it meant a loss of goods. At least this way a few lives would be saved and once the first shot or explosion went off, most of the civilians would scatter anyways.

As Harry looked through the crowd and allowed such thoughts to filter through his head, he finally caught sight of someone interesting but his vision was averted as an explosion rocked the building he was on. Covering himself from debris, he checked the time and saw that it was only just then eleven. They had struck early.

Moving back to his former position, Harry rapidly moved his scope around the square, the place quickly dissolving into chaos. People ran and screamed while others removed cloth and revealed guns of all sorts, firing them left and right. More soldiers pushed pass the civilians and into the square, pushing the Simba Tano back into the building that was already decimated on one side.

Harry turned to look at the running civilians, firing twice as separate soldiers attempted to kill a civilian and most likely steal what little they had on them. Then he saw a figure, the one he'd seen before. He'd passed them off as a civilian as they had moved back with the rest of them but now they stood on the side of the street. The hood they had worn around their face was pulled down and the first thing to catch Harry's eyes was the bandage over the nose.

Immediately he had the gun trained on her head but he hesitated, ideas swirling through his head.

"Arthur, I still haven't found her! Do you have a better view? Any sign of her!?"

It was Gawain. He couldn't see any of her. He had seconds to make a decision. What to say, what to do. Finally, he moved the scope so that it saw a different target.

In a calm, authoritative voice he replied, "No."

He fired.


	30. Under An African Sun Part 2

**AN: ****Hopefully any questions will finally be answered. Warning, this chapter is pretty damn sadistic so be warned. Enjoy!**

* * *

Harry left the sniper rifle where it was and grabbed only the bare minimal as he got off the roof as quickly as possible, avoiding Gawain's line of sight. He traveled down and succeeded in moving around most of the carnage though he had to occasionally knock out or even kill those that tried to stop him.

By the time he got to the alleyway where Lotta had been, she was already gone but a bloody smear on the ground told him which direction. He ran that way, the movement taking seconds before he caught up with a man that was trying to help her along.

Taking out the man with one shot, blood splattered against Carlstedt's face as she fell forward, the dead man falling on top of her. Harry had changed the target to her knee cap and now close up, it was obvious she would never walk straight again. Not that she would get out of this situation alive of course.

"_You_! I should have known it!" she spit out, her words jumbled up by the pain. "What? You just going to let me bleed out or you going to do something coward!"

Harry stepped up to her and produced a syringe. "I find it's best if you don't antagonize your torturer."

"Torturer…"

"Believe me when I say I am no coward Lotta Carlstedt. You wanted a monster, right? Well you have one right here." Harry pushed the needle into her throat and began to inject the liquid. "And bleeding out? Such a death is to _quick_ for the likes of you."

* * *

Harry could have waited for her to wake up but his hands were itching and suddenly he was slapping her awake. One last hit which cut the inside of her cheek had her jumping forward. She spit the blood on the floor as she looked up into Harry's face.

"Why this?" she hissed out. "You could be done with me now but instead you keep me alive. What if I escaped?"

"Now that's just wishful thinking. I've taken all necessary precautions against that. You'll never see the light of day again." Harry watched her facial expressions curiously and then suddenly said, "My name is Harry Hart. I'm head of an organization called Kingsman who work as the secret service of England. My codename is Arthur and Kingsman's front is a tailor shop. But, most importantly, I am telling you this because you will never be able to tell anyone else. You are going to die Lotta. How does that make you feel?"

"Fuck you!" she screeched. "You disgust me! You and your partner! I had it all and you ruined it and then he bit off my fucking nose and—"

"How does that feel by the way?" Harry suddenly interrupted. He moved forward and harshly pushed the bandage of her nose inward. She struggled at first, her breath becoming more ragged. "You call me disgusting but even the devil wouldn't take you."

"Just stop it!"

"Really?" asked Harry innocently. "You're going to try and demand things to me now? Not a very smart move on your part Lotta."

He moved back, gathering an object, and turned to her again. He held it up in his hand, a piece of paper.

"You're probably thinking, or he's lost his mind. What the fuck is he doing holding a piece of paper? However, I can assure you that for the first time in a while, my head is clear. This not some unexplainable urge that plagues me at night. These are my thoughts and mine alone." Harry began walking towards her. "My hands aren't shaking. Do you see that? I would shake and scream out in the night, occasionally cry, mainly because of you, as if you were a catalyst for all that was evil. But now, a disturbing fact has set in and that is I feel fine. I feel in control. That may make me the monster that you believed me to be from the start but I feel whole. I know that you will never hurt myself or Merlin again and that brings with it a certain weight of peace."

Harry stopped in front of her, grabbed a chair, and then scooted in close. Lotta tried to kick at him but her legs were tied down as well and her small struggle didn't succeed in anything. The leg he'd shot had been previously bandaged to keep her from bleeding out and the pants she'd been wearing were utterly destroyed. Harry took hold of one of the strips and pulled it upwards.

"What, you're a pervert now?"

Not moving his eyes from hers, Harry calmly replied, "I'm sure you like to think of yourself as an expert at torture but I have been forced to go up against some of the most stone face men and women of the world. You were to big with Merlin. You were more focused on what pain it would give me than it would actually give him. You have to start out small with tough people in order to crack them. Like with a piece of paper."

Harry sliced through the inner thigh.

"Fuck!"

"You see, simple things, like a piece of paper can be so much deadlier. And with something as sensitive as the inner thigh, so much more effective." Harry did it again and watched as Lotta struggled in front of him.

"You bastard! You fucking uptight British git! Fuck you and your organization and—argh!"

She was cut off and began to howl in pain as Harry had swiftly pulled the skin on her face up and forced her eyelid farther open. He then sliced through the eye with the paper.

Harry stood up and took a step back as Lotta withered in her chair. She screamed and cried, yelled more obscenities. For Harry, the scene eased his mind and he went over and began to drink water from a canteen. He had gathered food as well for this excursion but he'd most likely have to go back into the nearest town for more supplies before this entire event was over.

As Harry calculated how much time it would take for the resources to go, a small voice in the back of his head was telling him to stop, that this was to far. But it wasn't like it was some inner struggle, his conscious trying to break through. It was Merlin's voice that he imagined because he knew, without a doubt, that this would hurt him, disappoint him. Maybe even frighten him. But even for Merlin, Harry wasn't going to stop this.

Despite the wretchedness of the situation, it felt right.

Waiting until Lotta finally calmed down, Harry asked, "Do you see what I mean? For someone watching, it wouldn't be that affective. Not unless you were threatening to do the same to them. But for the tortured, it is excruciating yet requires the smallest amount of pressure to achieve."

"I'll give you something! Contacts! Money! The people I have in the Simba Tano!"

"Even if what you had just offered was worth anything I would still say no," Harry said calmly. "We know all your contacts. You have no more money. The Simba Tano has been ripped apart from the inside out, ironically no thanks to you. There is nothing you can give me."

"I'll think of something! I'll—"

"Are you honestly bargaining? And this soon? Should we expect Stockholm syndrome before the end of the week?"

Lotta spewed out more obscenities in response but this time Harry didn't interrupt or respond to her comments. The last line he'd said had been a bit to far. Harry could recognize that. He knew about the psychological damage that could come from the act of torture, for the perpetrator and the victim. Nevertheless, he'd begun this and he would see it finished. He simply had to make sure he never went to far. Not with the actions but the thoughts. He'd see Merlin once this over, Harry was going to have to, but he wouldn't subject him to whatever twisted demon he had turned into.

"Tearing out the nail is another effective action, smart," Harry suddenly said, interrupting his own train of thought and Lotta's screaming. "You should have kept at it with Merlin. Going from small to big, you may have actually broken him but even then it's doubtful. You were at a disadvantage from the start. Kingsman just aren't made to break. With you however, I think I'll start with the feet first."

He took pliers and took off one of Lotta's shoes. Carefully, he ripped off each nail despite her struggling and crying out. When he was finished, Harry stood up and coolly said, "I'll do the other foot tomorrow. Good night Lotta."

"You can't do this! It's inhuman! I'll get out of here and burn you to the ground you fucker! I will!"

"The only way to get out of this situation is through dreams. Something tells me that won't be to pleasurable for either of us," Harry replied as he opened the door and stepped out. He let out a small sigh and decided that the entire incident had gone fairly well. Now rather hungry, he went to go make himself a sandwich.


	31. Chapter 31

**AN: ****So as of right now, I will be aiming for 35 chapters to end it. Unless I just suddenly come up with another idea to carry on this story, we are nearing the end. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with it thus far!**

* * *

"Merlin!"

Oh wait.

He wasn't there.

Harry tightened his grip around the makeshift bedding as he took in several deep breaths and stood up. Memories rushed back to him as he tried to calm down his breathing. Nevertheless, despite the dream he had just had, he wasn't as bad off as he usually was. He wondered if that was just a coincidence or do to his actions.

After performing several morning exercises and getting something to eat, he went to check on his guest. Her head was thrown back and her mouth was slightly open as she slept, twitching ever so slightly.

Harry slowly approached, trying not to startle her awake. Moving behind her, he moved his face next to hers and whispered, "Wake up."

Lotta jolted in the chair, her chest heaving in and out. Her eyes went around wildly until they finally rested on Harry. "How long?" she croaked.

"Three weeks, five days, eight hours, twenty minutes, and—" Harry glanced at his watch. "—fifty-two seconds."

Giving her a more analyzing look, Harry took stock of what was left.

All of her nails had been ripped out long ago. The lower half of her right leg was completely gone up to the knee. On the other foot, each toe had been broken. Her left hand was missing two fingers and the rest were broken along with the bones in the hand and the wrist. Cuts littered the more sensitive locations of her body, the thighs, underneath the armpit, behind the one knee, on the stomach. The eye he had sliced early on was worthless now but still there.

"I think I'll take the eye this time," Harry murmured.

He moved over to his easily organized group of tools as Lotta sniveled behind him. She had stopped begging long ago. She cursed less often now. She was almost broken but not quite. Harry just needed a little more time.

The instrument he took was slim and clearly for precise movements. When he finally started walking over, she began to struggle, thrashing about more wildly the closer he got.

"Now, the more you struggle, the worse this is going to hurt," Harry responded softly. He swiftly wrapped one arm around her head, stilling its movements, and began to work at her eye.

She didn't scream right away but it eventually came as Harry carefully worked at it. He cut up the eyelid first so that he had a clearer view and then began to take out the eye. Once finished, he moved around her and tilted her head from side to side, looking at his handy work.

He gave a small nod and murmured, "Time for breakfast."

It was a simple enough pattern. Crush, cut, or take away something after waking up, have breakfast, exercise, do a different method of torture before lunch, talk with Lotta if she was feeling chatty or go into town, and finally have dinner and do one last act before bed.

The main thing that Lotta did in rebellion now was trying to refuse food though that never worked out for her. Harry could easily force feed her and he had collected the necessary equipment to give her nutrients through a drip if needed.

After eating, forcing Lotta to eat, and excising, he went in and crushed her foot. Harry then prepared lunch and sat down in front of Lotta, this day being for talking.

Despite his previous statements of not needing anything from her, there had been several questions he needed answered about Percival. The information had flowed easily enough and once he was back, he was positive that they'd be able to remove the device from him. Even if they couldn't, the device that had originally been used to control him had been destroyed so either way they were covered.

Harry had also forced her to give up the location of where she'd stashed her husband. He'd left for two days to search for him. It had been a risky move, especially seeing as it had been early on, yet Harry kept his promise to Julia and killed her father, swift and painless.

There had also been times Harry had coaxed different information about her previous empire. Not because he needed the information directly but because the words and thought process could be applied later on with other groups or people.

Today was a much more social call though as a question had plagued Harry's mind since the moment he'd met Julia.

"Why did you have a daughter?" asked Harry as he ate.

"What?" she spit out.

"You know what I said. I haven't messed with your ears yet. Unless you had bad hearing from the start," he replied.

"I don't know what you mean!"

"About the question or you possibly having bad hearing?"

"The question!" she screeched.

"Then I shall repeat it. Why did you have a daughter? A woman like yourself, it doesn't make sense."

"For a legacy! A way to keep myself living on after death! Why the fuck does it matter?"

"Because you not once have you asked me about her safety. You sent your daughter into Kingsman. She could have died and you never tried to help her, never asked after her."

"But why does it matter to you!?"

Letting out a small sigh, Harry responded, "Because if at all possible I would like there to be some small part of me that doesn't hate you, that would help me to rationalize that I should back out of this and simply do a clean hit. However, thus far you have only progressed created an image of a monster. You brought a life into this world and even from someone like you I would like to know if you at least cared momentarily."

"Of course I didn't!"

"Then why sound like you're in denial?"

Harry waited. It wasn't like there was anything better to do. He finished eating and then continued to sit, curiously pending the outcome. She could always lie, try and make some sob story that would convince him to kill her quickly. It made him curious as to what she would do. Then time passed faster than it seemed and finally Lotta was talking.

"My husband betrayed me."

Thinking of several responses to that and how it was more a disillusioned truth than a lie, Harry continued his silence.

"I thought with a child, someone I would raise on my own, someone of my blood, would understand. I thought she would be my one true confident. I hoped to raise her to take over my empire, partly as a way to carry on living but because I didn't think I could trust anyone else to do it." Lotta's face began to twist more than usual as she quickly shook her head back and forth. "And then she betrayed me as well! The bitch sided with her father! She even tried to run away!"

_She should have stayed away_, Harry thought. _She would have been much happier_.

However, out loud he said, "Thank you Lotta. That was precisely what I needed to hear."

He stood up, walked over, and pulled her shoulder out of joint. Lotta screamed and wailed but Harry only released another sigh, a tired look coming across his face.


	32. To Long

**AN: ****Finally another chapter! Thank you to everyone, enjoy!**

* * *

Merlin slowly moved about his apartment, leaning heavily on both crutches. He'd been home for two days now yet it didn't feel like home. Schokolade moved around him, trying to be helpful and comforting. She'd learned early on that trying to lean against him was a bad idea and now stayed several inches away just in case.

A thick layer of dust had lain across the house when Merlin had come home the day before. The dust was still there, only having shifted from the slight movement in the house.

Moving to the kitchen, there wasn't anything to eat so Merlin made tea and finally sat down, waiting for it to finish boiling. There was dog food for Schokolade which he'd brought back from Kingsman but most of the food in his fridge had spoiled, it having been over a month since he'd been in his apartment.

He was just then leaning against the counter, carefully pouring his tea, when a knock on his door sounded. It startled him and though he attempted to save the kettle, soon everything was crashing to the floor. For a moment, Merlin stood in the mess, praying that whoever was at the door would go away before he strangled them, yet not long after another knock sounded.

Letting out an unrecognizable noise that was full of irritation and annoyance, Merlin headed to the door, first checking his window. He was thankful he did as he immediately had to support himself. Why now? Of all the fucking time why now?

Merlin's thoughts were brought back to when he'd believed the man outside his door was dead and then he'd just shown up one day. Just like now.

This moment of silence was longer than the last but just as Merlin expected to look out and see nothing, another knock sounded. He took a deep breath and then headed into the hall, placing his hand on the doorknob but not turning it yet. Schokolade curiously sniffed around his ankles and then scratched at the door, clearly wondering why Merlin wouldn't open it.

He twisted it, slowly pulled it open, and turned his head to look up, unsure of what he'd exactly be facing.

To be perfectly honest, Merlin didn't get a chance to see much as a body moved the door the rest of the way open for him and arms wrapped around him, a head burying into the crook of his neck. One of the crutches dropped from his grasp while the other he just barely held onto. Schokolade was going ecstatic, at first from the noise and then from the realization of who it was. She jumped around them both and then proceeded to lick the other's pants' leg and nuzzled against him.

Merlin simply tried to stay balanced. Confused and put off, he honestly didn't know what to say. Well, that wasn't exactly true. He had several routes already planned out in his head. More accurately he just didn't know which one to take.

When Harry pulled away, Merlin opened his mouth to say something, he wasn't really sure what, but once again Harry beat him to it and said, "It's done. She's gone forever."

The news shouldn't have surprised Merlin, it had been obvious what Harry had been up to even if he hadn't left any evidence behind, yet out of everything he could have said he looked Harry up and down and replied, "You're very tan."

"Well…yes I suppose I am." His response showed that he was clearly put off by Merlin's retort and he waited for more.

Merlin was still looking over Harry but all of the physical changes were obvious. He was tanner, maybe a bit thinner, but no less healthy looking. Merlin was trying to see if it was really still Harry though. The eyes should have told him that but as he looked, he saw nothing but utter kindness and thankfulness to be standing there again. Either he honestly hadn't changed or any other emotions were hidden due to the overwhelming situation.

It made Merlin wet his lips and swallow as he suddenly realized his mouth was extremely dry. "She's…" He stopped himself. No, he didn't need to question that or say pointless statements. He'd known the moment that Harry had disappeared that Lotta's time on Earth was up. There were much more important subjects to broach at that precise moment. Merlin started again, taking a shaking breath before beginning. "You complete…and utter…wanker. You asshole. You git! It's been nearly a month Harry! Do you realize how fucking painful it was not hearing from you even though I knew what you were fucking doing!"

His breath coming out rather ragged, Merlin waited for a response and though he did watch pain cross over Harry's eyes, he took the verbal beating without any argument. That almost made it worst.

"You just went off the fucking grid!" Merlin continued because what else was he to do? If he stopped talking he was pretty sure he'd start crying or collapse from sheer exhaustion. "Kingsman has been without a leader this entire time! Do you realize how irresponsible that was? Do you realize how difficult it was as we searched, as we wondered if you'd ever come back!? I mean, you are probably our best link to MI-6 and without you, it's been a month and Cartwright is still in our protective custody because MI-6 doesn't believe that she's not a threat!

"Percival still has that damn thing in his head too! Eggsy has been worried sick! And what about the dog? Did you think of her? She's been wondering where you were like the rest of us and what about Julia!? She's a fucking kid that we have no idea whether to throw back out into the world or what! Even she's been bloody worried about you and what's happened with her father and fucking mother! And-just-shit! Do you realize how many nights I've woken up wondering where you were? Searching for your body and finding the other side of the bed empty? You just-fuck Harry."

Merlin had run out of words. He could always keep cursing of course but he'd used enough of those to get his point across anyways. He was angry, all right. Shouting alone would have given that away. Now Merlin was at a loss. He wished Harry would say something, try to explain himself. It would at least give Merlin another reason to go off, but it was obvious Harry wasn't going to argue with what he'd done.

And Harry wasn't an idiot. Merlin was sure he'd thought through the million and one consequences of his actions beforehand, but he needed to feel that fire so he wouldn't feel so fucking emotionally drained instead.

They stood for what could have been years, awkwardly holding each other as Schokolade looked cautiously at them with the door still wide open.

Harry did eventually break the silence but his words weren't exactly what Merlin was hoping for. "May I come in?"

"What-well-of course you fucking can? You don't even have to ask," muttered Merlin as he tiredly wiped the sleep from his eyes.

He watched Harry give a small nod of acknoweldgement and then he was leaning down and picking up the crutch Merlin had dropped earlier, pausing to pet the dog who immediately welcomed his touch. Handing the crutch back, Harry stepped to the side and closed the door but once turning around they were still in that awkward position, neither moving or making a sound.

Merlin opened his mouth, stopped himself, opened it again but stopped as he expected Harry to say something, and finally rather lamely got out, "It's been to fucking long."

Harry nodded and, now that they were finally a few inches apart, Merlin could see the nervous movement of Harry's hands. They were the only indicator that he felt out of control, unsure, afraid even. It made Merlin realize that Harry had probably assumed the worst coming, just as Merlin had assumed the worst when opening the door. Harry had believed Merlin would never want to see him again. Merlin had expected the sight of a monster to greet his vision.

Neither had fully happened but the night certainly wasn't over yet.

Eventually, Harry responded to the comment and said possibly the last thing Merlin expected. "I see you've started cursing a lot more."

"It comes with the ownership of an eye patch," Merlin replied, the response quick and natural. It actually brought a quirk to Harry's lips even though it was gone seconds later. "Would you like some tea?"

"If it's not to much trouble."

"Well you can't have any because you startled me enough to drop and break the kettle. Would you like a beer?"

"I hesitate to answer."

"Well good because I don't have any groceries and water is about it. Will water do?"

"If you're willing to let me."

"I'll think about it," Merlin responded. "First you're going to sit the fuck down and explain to me where the bloody hell you've been and _exactly_ what you've done."

"Language," murmured Harry.

"Oh fuck off."


	33. I Should Be Disgusted

**AN: ****Sorry for the wait! Next chapter will be coming soon.**

* * *

"Now tell me everything that happened from the last moment you spoke to Gawain to when you killed Lotta," Merlin said as he eased himself down onto his couch. Harry sat across from him, back straight and hands neatly folded in his lap.

"I never said I killed her."

"But—"

"She's probably dead. Last time I saw her she was alive though."

Merlin blinked, confused by the statement. "What do you mean alive?"

"Let me just start from the beginning. You said you wanted everything and I'll give you everything. When Gawain contacted me during the attack I had Lotta Carlstedt in my sights. Instead of shooting, I blew out her knee instead," Harry replied. "I then left the rifle and took only what was needed."

The minute hand seemed to move slower than normal but soon an hour had passed and then two and then finally three. Though he hesitated occasionally, his voice trembling once in a while, he was true to his word and Harry didn't leave anything else out.

"I broke two of her fingers by bending them backwards and then made porridge."

"I went into the nearest town to their market every three days and then would go back to cut, brake, or take something else."

"At first she wouldn't stop cursing. She was less talkative as the days went by."

And on and on Harry went, each word causing a nervous glance and an uncertain gulp from Merlin.

"When her mind was broken, completely and utterly, totally gone, that was when I decided enough was enough. I took away the last remaining arm, took away her tongue, and destroyed her voice box. I then gathered all belongings and before I left, took away her last eye. If she didn't die from the heat or dehydration she might still be alive but she won't survive after two days. Starvation will kick in after that."

Harry finally finished and leaned back, his face exhausted and his posture slumped. He suddenly looked his age for the first time in years.

"And before you ask, Kingsman doesn't know. I stopped here first."

"Well glad to know I still come first," murmured Merlin.

"It's why I did what I did."

Merlin's fists tightened and he retorted, "You did what you did for yourself."

"Yes but also for you. If she was still out there, I don't think I would ever believe you were truly safe again."

"So you tortured her."

"The torture was for me," admitted Harry. "But the ultimate reason I ended it, the reason I killed her and didn't keep going when I could have, was because I needed to see you again. And that was more important than continuing it."

Harry watched Merlin's throat move up and down, the way his eyes left his eye contact, the hands that compressed and released.

"You're disgusted with me."

"I'm not—"

"There's no need to lie. I expected this when coming," Harry responded as he stood up.

Merlin's head jerked upwards and in one breath, he harshly said, "Sit _down_."

As Harry did so, his face showing that he was clearly shocked, he asked, "You are…disgusted. Right?"

"Yes. I mean no! It's just…" Merlin trailed off, let out a disgruntled sigh, and continued. "I'm disgusted with myself more than anything else."

"But why?"

"Because I should be fucking strangling your neck. I should be running to the bathroom and puking my guts up. I should be doing anything but sitting here and feeling some form of satisfaction," replied Merlin, his voice going softer until ending at a whisper. "I should be ashamed to love you but I'm not."

"Even if I'm a monster?"

"You're not a monster. You've done monstrous things but you're not a monster," murmured Merlin.

"Even if I got satisfaction out of it?"

"Even then. You care about people, about other's safety, about Kingsman. So what if you enjoyed it? You're human and even the kindest human can enjoy the pain and suffering of others. It's one of the problems of being human. Chaos can be as welcoming as order."

"But I'm not myself. Not anymore."

"No, and you're not the you of five years or ten or even when you first joined Kingsman. People change Harry, for better and for once, but you can't keep going with this idea that you're not you. I admit that past me would be disappointed in myself today, but that doesn't change who I am," Merlin replied. "She suffered. She's dead. You're here. I'm going to fucking sleep better tonight than I have in a month."

A sad smile moved across Harry's face and he changed from his chair to a space next to Merlin. Carefully, he took Merlin's face in his hands as he looked over what had healed. Harry moved his fingers underneath the eye patch, revealing the scar tissue and empty socket. Following the shape of the raised flesh, he felt the small shiver from Merlin's form. It wasn't one of discomfort or fear though as he leaned into the touch.

"You could have _called_," Merlin murmured.

"I was a little busy."

"You've had time to contact me in the middle of being shot at by twenty-three people on a snowmobile."

Harry released a small smile at that. "I will never let anyone hurt you again. Even at the cost of my soul."

"That's a heavy price. I'd like to imagine I already own that," Merlin responded softly as he finally moved in and kissed Harry before simply resting his forehead against the other's forehead. "Just promise to never leave me in the dark again. No matter what your reasoning, don't do that to me."

"I promise. Till the day I die," murmured Harry.

Merlin kissed him again and then pulled him close, this time being the one that buried his head into the other's neck. After a quiet moment however, Merlin pulled away and said, "We need to get the information you gained to Kingsman. And Cartwright is still in danger of incarceration."

"I don't think I'm going back."

"What?!"

"The fact remains that I did abandoned Kingsman for over a month. Even though you forgive me, even if everyone else does, a leader still can't do something like that. It's irresponsible, damaging. I don't deserve the position of Arthur."

"Don't say that," whispered Merlin.

"Even if it's true?"

"Just think about it. Alright?" Merlin murmured. "You've been in London how long? You should rest."

"At least inform me about Cartwright. What is this about MI-6 not acknowledging her innocence?" asked Harry.

"Didn't you just tell me that you thought you should step down?"

"Very true but the fact that Cartwright has helped unquantifiably and is still being treated like a terrorist is something I won't stand for," Harry replied, his voice steady and sure. "Now tell me what the hell those idiots at MI-6 think they're doing."

"I will once I finish cleaning up that damn kettle I broke."

"Right! I forgot that had happened. Let me."

Merlin followed at a slower pace as Harry hurried into the kitchen to clean up the cold puddle around the broken kettle.

"You don't need to do that you know. It really was my own clumsiness and not you that caused it," Merlin said as Schokolade moved into the room and nuzzled up against his leg. "Harry…"

"Think of it as the beginning of my life long apology," Harry replied. "Now, tell me about Cartwright and any other problems that have been occurring."


	34. Making Amends

**AN: ****One chapter left. Thank you again!**

* * *

"Damn it all! I wish you hadn't said anything before I'd gotten back! Then I'd at least be able to punch and hug you ya oaf!" cried out Eggsy. On the screen he was leaning over, shoulder's stiff and head shaking. "I mean…oh for fuck's sake. I'm going to kill you when I get back."

"Whatever you have planned, I most likely deserve it," Harry answered honestly. "No apology I can verbally make would ever fully heal the wound I have created but hopefully my actions will."

"Stop talking in such philosophical ways. I'm just glad you're back," Eggsy replied earnestly. "Just don't ever do that again."

"I can think of no forcible future where I would need to."

"Harry…"

"Right, it won't happen again Eggsy. I promise."

Nodding at the acceptable answer, Eggsy asked, "Do the others know?"

"Merlin and Percival but all other agents are currently on assignment. I revealed myself to you because I knew you were not in the middle of a mission and that despite any arguments from you, that you'd be more riled up if I waited any longer."

"You're damn right about that. Does Julia know?"

"That I'm back. I haven't met with her yet."

Eggsy sighed, "Do you know what's going on with Cartwright?"

"Merlin has given me a briefing."

"Then you'll know how utterly fucked we are. MI-6 is about five seconds away from revealing us because we're hiding a known terrorist! It's shit of course but no one has been able to get the idea through their thick skulls that Margaret is okay."

"I have my own special relations in MI-6 and though some of the agents promoted to desk and political work have allowed their brains to rot, I'm sure there are some inside that believe in what evidence we've presented so far."

"And Percival? I mean, you were with Lotta Carlstedt for over a month. Did you find anything that could help him?"

"Merlin is already working on it."

"Thank god. Roxy will be thrilled. About Perc and you being here. I have to go now Harry. It's good to have you back."

"Good to be back," Harry responded just before the transmission ended. Now looking at a blank screen, he allowed his shoulders to ease down and he let out a thankful sigh. That had gone better than expected.

With Merlin helping the doctors with Percival, Harry headed out to find Julia who had been moved from a hospital bed to what had been meant as a temporary room. He gently knocked, listened to her say come in, and was fairly pleased with her appearance. She looked healthier than the last time, not just cleaner, but actually had fuller cheeks and nicer skin.

She had been reading a book but now gently set it down as she bit her bottom lip and whispered, "Mother's dead. Right? She's gone."

"Yes," replied Harry. He warily stayed by the door, unsure of her response, but the relief was clear on her face and he moved closer. He took a seat in a chair, a little ways from her, and waited for her next question or statement.

"Did she suffer?"

Harry answered honestly. "Yes."

"Good. I don't want to know the details. But…yes, good. My father?"

"She gave me his location. I took a slight break from your mother and found him."

"Did he suffer?"

"I'm sure he had been suffering for years but his death was quick and painless," Harry said kindly.

Julia nodded, tears coming to her eyes that she quickly wiped away. "Thank you," she whispered. "It's over. It's all over."

"For both of us, yes. Lotta Carlstedt has been erased from this earth along with any power she held over other men," said Harry. "But now we need to discuss you."

"You won't kill me."

It was more of a statement than anything and it was clear that she was positive she was right.

Harry nodded in agreement and said, "No we won't. However, you have been privy to more information about Kingsman than any other civilian before. You're young, still have a life to live, but I need some form of assurance that you won't spill these secrets. I would like to believe there is no trace of your mother in you but just your word against mine isn't evidence enough."

"I can't just stay here?"

"You could, but it would not be in Kingsman's or your best interest. I'm sure there are places you want to go, things you want to do with your life. Would you really rather stay here?"

Hesitantly, she shook her head. However, her head perked up and she asked, "What if you tracked me? Met me on a regular basis? I mean, it wouldn't be the most private life but I could do what I want, right? And then you'd know the moment I spilled anything to."

"That's certainly a possibility though I'll need the agreement of all Kingsman agents. You do realize if you try to disappear, that if something goes wrong and you don't inform us, that we will find you and most likely kill you. You're a troubled girl but an innocent one as far as I can tell. However, Kingsman and the agents hold a higher priority."

"I understand," she replied, shaking her head up and down.

"Good. I can discuss this with you further on a later date but for now, more urgent matters need to be seen to."

"Right, thank you."

Harry nodded, the words 'you're welcome' seeming wrong for the moment, and quickly left. He went down another set of hallways and corridors, passing a few other employees, until he finally came to the actual house and was out of the underground maze. In the dining room, he finally met with Margaret Cartwright for the first time in a month.

She looked well, if a little pissed and tired, but her face lit up upon seeing Harry.

"So you truly are back! I thought I was being pranked."

"Now why would a Kingsman ever do that?" Harry replied easily, welcoming her more upbeat and easy tone.

She snorted and rolled her eyes in response. "I don't know but I've been getting enough shit from MI-6 as it is. I risk my life to take down the Simba Tano, team up with you guys for weeks on end, and they still think I'm here to bloody well blow them all to smithereens. And I have half a mind to do so to! They're just so infuriating."

"I do believe a stronger word would be more appropriate in this time. Even Richard is being asinine about the whole thing I would have hoped he had a more level head. There's a meeting with him today?"

"Yes, claims it'll be his last straw too," she said. "It was supposed to be with Percival but seeing as you're here and he's a bit busy….well."

"I'll be glad to help. Does he know of my disappearance?"

"Only that you were previously undercover and we could not get in contact with you," Cartwright said with a knowing look.

"Good. I'll do all I can for you, at the very least have you pardoned, but I'm unsure if I'll be able to get your job back," Harry said.

"I'm starting to want it back less and less," responded Cartwright. She kept a sour face but it was clear she was hurt by the events.

"As a last proposal, if all goes as I expect it to, I will suggest that you join us at Kingsman." Harry said the words slowly, carefully gaging her reaction.

"What do you mean last proposal?"

"That's honestly what you focus on?"

"Yes! You aren't thinking of stepping down."

"I don't see another way out of it."

"But you're invaluable to Kingsman! They can't just lose you again."

"With their permission, I will stay on, as an agent, informant, whatever they need, but I am no longer fit for the role of Arthur," replied Harry earnestly. "Now please don't try to argue the point. The meeting is being held at MI-6's headquarters, correct?"

"It starts in an hour. But Harry—"

"I'll tell you the outcome at the most available opportunity, Cartwright. That is all."

* * *

Five hours passed. Merlin had finished long ago the debriefing with the doctor's and they had already come up with a plan to remove the object from Percival's head. Nevertheless, no word had come from Harry and it had him slightly worried.

Obviously he was still in the meeting but it was just taking so long.

As Merlin scratched behind Schokolade's ear, he had to say he felt better being back at Kingsman rather than staying at home with nothing to do. Having Harry helped to of course but being around something familiar and at least pretending to busy was better than nothing.

After another ten minutes had passed, Cartwright had come, clearly antsy at the lack of noise from Harry's end.

What with Kingsman still running, Cartwright had been the only person Merlin had seen on a regular basis while healing, beside the doctors of course. He had gotten to know her fairly well and her emotions had become somewhat easier to read, especially now as she paced back and forth.

"Nothing, just nothing. They barely spent thirty minutes with any of the other agents! What the hell are they doing in there?"

"Hard to say but Harry wouldn't take any time longer than necessary," Merlin replied honestly.

"I know but I would just like to—"

Suddenly Merlin heard a noise and he knew that someone was trying to get in contact with them. Accepting the signal, Merlin saw that it was coming from Harry.

"Harry, Christ it's been forever. What happened?" asked Merlin quickly.

"Well they tried to walk out on me," Harry responded. "I simply barricaded the doors and declared that no one would leave the room until a decision had been made. The task was made somewhat more difficult by their attempts to leave but thankfully their years behind a desk gave me an excellent advantage."

Merlin let out a small snort as he tiredly rubbed his eyes. "I can imagine it. The final verdict?"

"Margaret Cartwright's pardon will be announced on the morning news tomorrow morning. However, they made it rather clear that they wanted nothing to do with her," Harry replied, his voice obviously showing the apology there. "Now that it's over though, announce to the other agents that, if available, I'll be holding a meeting in twenty minutes that will request the instatement of Margaret Cartwright, the release and tracking of Julia Carlstedt, broach the subject of the removal of the device from Percival's head, and end with the vote for a new Arthur."


	35. The Story Is Done But Not Over

Harry waited. And he waited. And he waited some more.

Cartwright walked by after about fifteen minutes of waiting and finally plopped down next to him with a curious look on her face.

"Still no verdict?"

"None. Though you do have a job if you wish it. That decision was made fairly quickly," Harry responded, an easy going smile appearing on his lips for a moment. "Gawain's hand shot up like an excited school child."

"Oh Lee, I'm not shocked. Are you sure there wasn't at least one that hesitated?"

"Merlin did but that was more due to the horror of having to spend more time with you than necessary rather than your aptitudes," replied Harry honestly.

Cartwright chuckled, a grin appearing on her own face before it slowly disappeared into a kind smile. "I'm sure whatever is occurring Merlin's fighting valiantly for you to stay."

"That doesn't change what should happen."

"Harry, whatever the outcome, I can't see you retiring."

"Hopefully I won't. I can always do something else within Kingsman."

"Like what? Sit behind a desk and funnel paperwork? From what I've seen and heard you're good at that, fantastic actually, but it's not you. Remember, whatever can happen will; Murphy's Law."

"Hmm…majored in physics?"

"Just saw an interesting movie," Cartwright responded, the grin reappearing. "You would die from boredom without some type of mission going on though. Just warning you."

"I'll take it to heart," Harry said earnestly. Just then, the doors were opened and Harry slowly stood. "I suppose that's my cue."

"Good luck."

Nodding his thanks, Harry turned away and moved into the room. He did not sit down in Arthur's spot but chose to stay where he was as he asked, "Your decision?"

"It is with much discussion and argument," Gawain began, "that with a heavy heart we have decided…to keep you on as Arthur."

Harry's carefully neutral face suddenly dropped, confusion seeping through as a small frown appeared on his lips. "But…I'm not worthy to hold such a position. I—"

"In less than twenty-four hours since being back you have taken some of our most pressing problem and resolved them," Percival put in. "None of us can see any forcible reason as to why you would suddenly go off the grid again, but when you did, despite the problems that it caused, you did not let the entire…disappearance be in vain."

"I do not deserve to hold the position," Harry stressed.

"Maybe so but you're the most qualified," replied Roxy. "Besides, this situation has forced us to come up with a strategy if Arthur does disappear. It has been tradition that Arthur plays the role of paperwork and guiding but rarely goes into the field. You've helped us with the creation of a strategy where Arthur would be unavailable or gone."

"But it was irresponsible."

"I think we've all done things in this line of work that weren't fully in our job description. You can live with whatever guilt you feel you deserve but you must also live with the fact that Kingsman needs you as Arthur," Eggsy said, crossing his arms and showing how he certainly felt about the situation.

"And if I resign instead of allowing you to decide?" asked Harry.

"Then we may just be forced to tie you up and keep you here," said Merlin, filtering some amusement into the conversation but quickly going serious again. "I know you want to step down because you think it is in our best interest. But this decision shows what truly is in our best interest and that is not with you stepping down to a lower role or simply retiring."

Harry stood expertly still, the gears in his mind clearly turning. However, his head jerked towards Gawain as the man added, "Please sit down and conclude the meeting…Arthur."

Remaining where he was for several more seconds, Harry suddenly pushed forward, gracefully pulling his chair back and sitting in it before finally saying, "Then before we go there are several more points we need to make clear. Yvain, currently you…"

And without any explanation as to when he had learned in detail the missions for each agent there, Harry went in and rewrote the problems that didn't make sense and helped solidify the solutions that people had once been uncertain of. Though Harry was still unsure if Kingsman had made the right decision, his actions quickly showed the other agents that they had made the correct choice.

* * *

Harry woke up, surprised by the lack of a body near him and quickly headed into the living room. He moved through his home (_his home_) a thought that still surprised him at times.

Walking through what had once been known as Merlin's flat but had was now referred to as _theirs_, Harry arrived in the sitting area where Merlin was by the fire with Schokolade in his lap. She wasn't exactly lap size anymore but she still tried.

Years had thus passed since the entire affair with Lotta Carlstedt but both still had their good and bad nights. Tonight it was Merlin's bad night, his absence having been the thing that had urged Harry to awake. The heat of the fire hadn't really spread throughout the room so he couldn't have been up for long.

"Room for another body?" asked Harry, making sure that Merlin was first warned by his presence by the sound of his feet.

"May be a squeeze but I think we can manage," Merlin responded.

Harry got in between Merlin and the couch and as he got comfortable, Lady Zartbitter-Schokolade protectively spread out farther along both bodies. Putting his arm around Merlin's shoulders, he murmured, "Is this going to be an all night thing or will we be back in bed before long?"

They never asked what the dream was about, or if it even was a dream. Sometimes they needed to talk and other times they didn't so instead the only question they posed to the other was one about how long they would need to be up.

"All-nighter perhaps," Merlin said.

"Want me to put something on?"

"It's fine like this now."

For a few moments, they spoke of work and current missions, diplomat meetings and other occurrences. Nevertheless, that talk soon faded away and soon the only sound was the dog's soft snoring and the only movements were the up and down of their chests as Harry's fingers slowly traced the outline of Merlin's jaw line.

Despite the soothing motions, Merlin stayed awake for several hours, unable to close his eyes, but as midnight passed them by, Merlin's breathing became slower his body relaxed.

Harry kissed Merlin's neck and softly nuzzled against the crook of his neck. It wasn't an uncommon scene for Harry and Merlin and was one of the few normal occurrences throughout their hectic lives. Kingsman still kept them both supremely busy and it had its ups and down but neither could thing of an alternative where they'd be content.

Yes, that was the right word for it. They weren't always happy and things weren't always perfect but over all they were content with their life and the excitement within it.

Scars had been left most certainly, both physically and mentally, but as Lotta Carlstedt's story was done Harry's and Merlin's continued, shaping in both difficult and new ways just like before and just like it should.

* * *

**AN: I hope this is a worthy end to a fanfic that really came from nowhere and was quite unexpected in what was originally planned. Thank you to everyone that commented, that favorited, who stayed with this from the beginning or found it along the way, that took the time to read this even if you found you didn't quite like it. Thank you so much!**


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